


Hope in the air (hope in the water)

by JForward



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Planet, Allergies, Amnesia, Angst, Bloodloss, Broken Bones, Buried Alive, Burns, Car Accidents, Coma, Doctor!Whump, Emotional Hurt, Exhaustion, Explosions, Face Punching, FebuWhump2021, Febuwhump, Gen, Graphic Description, Hallucinations, Healing, Healing Coma, Hiding, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Impaled, Impaling, Imprisonment, Injury, Insomnia, Memories, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Poison, Poisoning, Psychic Manipulation, Temporary Amnesia, Torture, Violence, Vomiting, Weapons, Whump, allergic reactions, coffins, i'm so bad at tags, nonbinary alien characters!, questionable explanations of psychic powers, ryan being a doofus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 50,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29190423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JForward/pseuds/JForward
Summary: Febuwhump 2021 - but as One Story!Lots of hurt, a little bit of comfort.Trapped by an army of mind-controlled innocents, Yaz missing and desperately trying to keep the fam safe, the Doctor faces decisions that she never wants to make.[Complete!]
Comments: 27
Kudos: 40





	1. mind control

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So like I say this is going to hopefully be following the febuwhump2021 prompt list - each chapter will be titled with the prompt, some will be swapped out but I'll list them. 
> 
> Obvs it's gonna be Big Whump.  
> Have fun!

  
"Shh. Stay down, stay still." the Doctor put her hand on Graham's back, pushing him down under the edge of the barrier. She peered over herself, tilting her head back to keep as much of her hidden as possible. The roving group was heavily armed; Ryan on her left was almost vibrating with his anxious energy. But it was harder, the hardest thing she'd done, to keep the lads still and not burst out herself.

"Will she be okay, Doc?" Graham whispered, "I couldn't see her, can you see her?"   
"Graham, shh!" she said, again, lowly. Graham shifted how he was kneeling, still looking as best he could. The people were moving awkwardly, robotically, eyes fixed ahead, a gun in every hand. The Doctor tilted her head a little, searching, trying to figure out just why - a blinking light caught her sharp eyes. Tucked just under the ear in the skin of their necks. The cold feeling crawled up her throat a little more, thinking of the look Yaz had given her when they'd split up. She'd lost track of how long ago that had been, now, as they had fled from the sight of the group so very clearly searching for them. 

"They're being controlled. That's why they all look so different." she whispered, putting the clues together, at last. This place had once been a thriving market across a dozen different planetary systems, a natural gathering point, and she had planned on showing the fam a beautiful place - a real ideal of inter-species communication. And yet here she was, looking at the ravaged streets and the forced army that was now very much searching for them, most likely to drag them before whoever was in charge and give them the same treatment.

"Alright, don't panic, fam." she dropped down behind the barrier, keeping her voice low as she looked between them. She pressed her back against the material, grounding herself in the rough sensation, even through the fabric of her shirts and coat. "We're gonna find Yaz, regroup, then disable those devices and make sure this never happens again."  
"Devices?" Ryan murmured, just as low.  
"On their necks, just under their ear," she said, softly, "I can see a light blinking. If I get close enough it's possible I can disable them with the sonic, but I can't do anything until I know how deeply they run. If they're tied into the nervous system then a shock like that could kill them."

Graham exhaled slowly, peering over his shoulder again. On the bright side, their hiding place appeared to be working right now. The Doctor glanced at him, smiling, somewhat forced but it would be enough to fool the humans.  
"Okay. Nice and quiet. Find Yaz, that's the priority." she popped back up again, but all she could see was backs, as the group had spread out, moving in steady step. She was mapping it out, a dozen different paths, figuring out speed versus quiet versus ability to traverse... 

"Okay. Stay low." she whispered, "Follow me." hopping onto her legs, she set off at a low run, eyes shooting around as she did. Graham was definitely the loudest of the three of them, but she could feel Ryan was struggling a little, worried about falling. She came to a stop, pressing a shoulder against a piece of sandy coloured wall. Graham and Ryan flopped in behind her, panting lowly. The Doctor twisted around.  
"Did they really leave no guards on the inner wall?" Ryan asked, "Man, that's basic stuff."  
"I can't see anythin' either." Graham added, a little breathless, "We going in, Doc?" he added. The Doctor frowned.

"Yaz." she murmured, "She went in over there, remember?" she gestured at the building opposite, which led into what had been the bazaar, once. It was a huge building. The Doctor remembered when it had been open, bustling and beautiful, full of the smell of spices and the sound of laughter, haggling... it made her heart ache. That pushed her on, she had to fix this, and step one - get Yaz. She turned to look at the boys again, pushing that bright smile again. "Okay, we're going after her. You two hang back here." she said, buzzing her sonic at a half hidden door, which popped open, "I'm going to do a quick scout, see if I can get eyes on Yaz, and I'll signal you across if it's safe."   
"Is that a good idea, Doc?" Graham said, immediately, "Splitting up again?"  
"Not splitting up," the Doctor shook her head, "You're coming over as soon as I know it's safe. Or I'll come back." 

The pair of them shared a glance, and she didn't miss the attitude between them, but the Doctor had no plans on backing down.  
"Be careful, Doc." Graham stepped through the door, Ryan stepping in behind him, shadowed in the gloom, peering carefully through a gap. Satisfied they were hidden, the Doctor pulled her hood up over her head, hoping the sandy lilac colour of her coat would help her blend in. She peered around, but the shapes of people were moving away were still distant, and she couldn't see anyone else around ... 

Shooting across the open space, she came to a stop by the door Yaz had come through, which stood slightly ajar. Pushing it open, the Doctor buzzed the sonic as quietly as she could, scanning for life. There were no signs of anything, no life at all, and she swallowed hard, taking a few steps - seeing nothing. Okay. Not great, but - not the worst, either. She backed to the door again, peering out, before signalling at the other side. Ryan and Graham appeared a moment later, running awkwardly across the open space, and then they were with her and she beamed, shutting the door and casting them into the darkness.

"No sign of Yaz, then?" Ryan said, softly, and the Doctor shook her head, frowning.  
"No life signs at all. But we know Yaz, so - let's get going." the Doctor bounced on her heels, trying to push away the immense worry that was bubbling in her chest, because Yaz would be here, she was sure of it. Yaz was smart, more than smart enough to notice and avoid the controlled people who were out and about. They moved swiftly through the bazaar, trying to tread carefully. The open area had clearly once held a bustling market; there were still old stalls about, rotting and pushed into corners. But in the centre, there were benches, clearly well used, leading to a podium. The Doctor paused, before heading up the centre column and hopping up to the stage.

"What is this place?" Ryan asked, softly.  
"Looks like a church." Graham murmured, in response, kicking at a pew. "To me, anyway."  
"Or a lecture hall."  
"Yeah, maybe. You think they have town hall meetings?"  
"Here's how to murder your friends?"  
"I think Graham was closer." the Doctor had mostly tuned out their words but now she was crouching by the lectern, the lads approaching as she fiddled with a device, freeing it. "What do we think? Holy book?" she murmured. It was flashing the same colour as the devices she'd seen on the necks, but it was much bigger, maybe the size of a dictionary. It was humming gently, and she tugged out the sonic, scanning it.

"Emitting a signal, but I don't think it's the base of it. Receiving from somewhere else." she murmured, popping it back down. "Can't cut it off here without knowing what they're doing. Too high risk." she peered up at the concerned faces of the lads and turned around. "Alright. On we go." bouncing down, she cracked open a wide door at the back of the room, peering through. Nothing in her eyeline - she stepped into the dusty space, cautious, back to the wall, sharp hearing perked for anything out of the usual. But no, there was - nothing. The place was eerily silent. The Doctor found her shoulders relaxing, just a little, but there was no sign of Yaz either. 

"Doc, this ain't looking good." Graham spoke after the next room. They had all been empty, dust on the ground undisturbed. As if no one had been through them in months, maybe years. The Doctor stilled, looking back at the sets of footprints they'd made. "I don't think she's been through here." she looked ahead, no tracks. That cold sensation in her throat was getting worse.   
"No. No, she has to have been, there's no other paths -" the Doctor jogged ahead, grabbing the door and yanking - it was locked. She stumbled the sonic in her fingers, buzzing it open, throwing it wide. She threw herself through, not listening to the calls from the boys behind her, knowing Yaz couldn't've come through here because it was locked but - there was no other way -

And she stopped dead at the row of guns being pointed her way, hollow eyes and blinking lights in a relaxed semi-circle around the doorway.  
"Hey, Graham, Ryan," she called softly, over her shoulder, "Don't come through, okay? Just back up real slow -"  
"We got another problem, Doc." Graham's voice sounded rather more panicked than she would've liked. "Got some friends in here."  
"Ah. Rather worried you would say that." she responded, exhaling slowly. "Might as well come through, then." she didn't take her eyes off the circle as Ryan and Graham stepped behind her, shutting the door behind them.

With their backs to the door, she smiled, tucking her sonic away and holding her hands in the air.  
"We surrender! Take us to your leader! The man with the remote control." she said, all bright beams, "C'mon, big guy in charge. Or girl! Or - nonbinary entity, I guess, take y'choice." the hands adjusted slightly on the weapons, all in sync, and the Doctor's eyes flickered over all those blinking lights. Two apparently were selected to step forward - an ordinary looking woman with dark skin and darker hair in a braid, and a creature of indeterminate gender with curling horns and three eyes, two on one side. 

They pointed their guns at the three of them, then stepped away and allowed them to walk through. The Doctor led the way, as they created a rough battalion around the trio.   
The others moved away, leaving the six of them alone, guided towards another door at the far end. This one swung open silently, leading to a grand, opulent hall. The Doctor tilted her head, able to see a door that most people would come through, deep wood and gold panelled. She swallowed hard, turning her eyes in the other direction. 

"This used to be the way up to the council rooms," narrating was easier than focusing too hard on trying to drag a plan out of her brains. If she distracted herself it would surely appear, that was usually how it went, at least for her. And any information might help the fam, too. "Interesting to see how nice it looks. That's new, though." she pointed at the wires running messily along the walls, all leading towards an entryway at the top of a sweeping set of stairs. "Council was a bit of a loose term for what they did. More of an embassy. They managed the trades and made sure things stayed fair, but they also organised parties and celebrations, and most places thought they were fair. Kept the black market off the streets, y'know?" she sighed. "I always thought it was a great monument to what they'd built. Where are you takin' us, by the way?" she directed this at the silent drones, eyeing their blinking lights again.

No answer. She sighed as they were led up the stairs.   
"This is why I never have a conversation with mind controlled people. 'Specially when they're chipped. Always hated that, I can be a bit more okay with it if it's, y'know, a special thing you can do, psychic powers an' all that, but using tech? That's just lazy." she tutted. "No personality in it. Not a fan. Especially not when you've used it to ruin the best market in the universe." she kept up her endless rambling, up the stairs, and then through the door where all the wires ran. "I really was looking forward to getting these guys a Mezzura Milkshake, you know the really nice ones with the sparkling whipped cream that tastes like ch - " she broke off, freezing.

This room had once been for meetings. The tables and chairs were gone. The decorations, maps, banners, photographs - vanished. Instead the walls were lined with beautiful, precious items, the floor had a thick, lush carpet. The stiff shapes of more armed guards stood either side. Up in the middle on a raised dias was a - well, a throne, really. Tall backed, edged in gold. The Doctor stiffened; the door shut with a loud bang behind them.  
"Don't like what you've done with the place." she said, with a sniff, "I preferred the old place. Had a bit of pizzazz. Personality. This just screams 'inferiority complex', y'know. Lazy." she took another step towards the figure seated on the dias, holding a hand out behind her to signal Ryan and Graham to stand where they were.

"Are you quite done?" the voice was genderless, deep and rumbly as it came from the figure. A hand gestured lazily. "I tire of you so quickly, Doctor. Oh, yes - your reputation preceeds you." they chuckled, and stood up. A tail uncurled from behind them, swaying along the floor just behind them, and when their hood fell back, Ryan and Graham let out a low noise of alarm. The Doctor's eyes widened.  
"Wow. I thought you were all extinct." she said, softly, "At least at this point. Unless I got the year wrong, but when have I ever done that?"  
"Only almost every trip we've ever taken." Graham murmured to Ryan.  
"Oi! Heard that!" the Doctor didn't look back as she scolded. "But what are you doing out here? Controlling everyone?"

"Oh, the infrastructure's been here for years." they swung a three-clawed hand vaguely behind them. "I just .. decided to open it up. Do you really think all the council did was plan parties and clear up petty trading disputes, Doctor? The planet has always been ready, just in case. A secret weapon." they chuckled. "My people aren't dead. But you're right - we've gone rather quiet. Genocides do that to you. Not enough of us left to repopulate." they sniffed sharply, nostrils flaring, almost rabbitlike ears sweeping up either side of their head. It played strangely with the red-toned scales that covered the majority of their features.

"Doc, what is he?" Graham whispered, urgently.  
"They're a Gnorrian. From the planet of Gnorrish."  
"Norris?" Ryan murmured.  
"Gnorrish. Used to be a wonderful place. Pretty arid, all mountainous, but they got into a war with their neighbours, who wanted to drill out all the natural resources." the Doctor explained, rapidly.  
"No, see, that's what you think." the tail slapped the side of the throne. "But it wasn't a war. It was destruction. They wanted what we wanted, so they came and took it." they growled, showing off two rows of very sharp fangs. The Doctor's face softened a little.

"I'm sorry." she said, softly, "I know what it's like to lose everything, too. What's your name?"  
"None of your business." they growled. "I was planning on making you part of my army, Doctor." they turned away slightly. "But I figured you might be a little more use to me ... as you are." they smirked. "Of course, I had to make sure I had a little leverage. How kind of you to send me an offering." they clicked their fingers, before settling lazily back onto the seat, tail dangling.

They subtly ran fingertips over something on the arm of their chair, the Doctor's eyes flickering over the movement, but they were quickly snapped back to the approach of two more slaves. And between them -   
"Yaz." she breathed, hearts constricting. "Oh, no. Yaz -" she took a half step forward, a whisper of movement as the guns in the space pointed at her. Yaz walked in lockstep with the others, holding the weapon firmly, green light blinking just under the skin of her ear. "Yaz, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm going to get that out of you, I promise." she swallowed hard, feeling anger bubbling in her chest, pushed it back down. She had slid the sonic into her hand, turning to meet the Gnorrian's eyes, their insufferably smug face.

"So, what? I do as you say and you don't hurt her? I do what you want and you set her free?" she snapped.   
"Oh, Doctor, no. She's not going free." they laughed. "But if you do as I say then she remains unharmed, yes. She becomes part of my personal guard. Safest job in the place." they chuckled deeply.   
"Why should I do what you say?" she asked, glaring, "You've told me you're not going to free her, so why should I stay?" she adjusted her grip in her long sleeves.   
"Doctor, I'm a dealer at heart," they leant forward, resting their elbows on their knees, "That's how I started here, of course. Until they drove me off." they chuckled, forced, "Let's make a deal, shall we? Her life, her continued survival, for your co-operation." 

The Doctor could feel herself breathing harder, forcing herself to calm, making an educated guess.   
"What will you do to her?" she whispered.  
"That little chip is ever so useful, Doctor." they murmured. "Hijacks all the signals to the brain. I can get her to do anything I want." they brushed their fingers over the controls, and Yaz turned the gun around, pointing it to her own head. Graham and Ryan moved behind her, and the Doctor held a hand out quickly, to still them.   
"And, what? It's programmed into the nervous system?"  
"Oh, no, we don't have any need for crudities like that. We have control of the brain, after all." they leant back again, "Complete psychic control. An impossible barrier to break. Convince them that it's their choice, too. It's a rather beautiful piece of tech."  
"So there's no override." the Doctor whispered, "The self preservation instinct -"  
"Doesn't kick in, yes! They told me you were smart." they whispered.

"And you have a central server?" she asked, eyes narrowing. "Some way to keep control of them all, right? Limited range?"  
"I'm bored of you. Make your choice, Doctor." they said, shortly.   
"Hm. Hard choice. Think I'm gonna go for the third option, actually," she said, brightly, and pressed the button on the sonic. There were sparks, and a bang - all of the guns in the room began to crackle.   
"Run!" she turned and shoved Ryan and Graham. The zombies stood still as the guns smoked and crackled. The Gnorrian snarled, leaping fluidly from his seat, but they had barrelled through the doors and down the stairs, the Doctor in the lead, still buzzing the sonic - this time at the wires on the wall. One of the router-style boxes sparked, and the light went out.

"Down here!" she spotted a small door and threw it open, leading into a fairly active passageway, judging by how clean it was. Ryan and Graham shot through, and she buzzed it locked after them, trying not to think of the blank look on Yaz's face or the lack of movement as the guns had crackled and sparked in so many hands.   
"It's okay, Doc." Graham said. "We're gonna rescue her, right?"  
In the gloom she could barely see them turn and look at her.  
"If it's the last thing I do, Graham," the Doctor rasped, "We're getting her out of here alive."


	2. "I can't take this anymore."

  
"How long have we been hidin' here?" she was pretending that she couldn't hear them. Letting humans know just how sharp her hearing was always made them uncomfortable, and so she was forced to listen to conversations like this one, over and over again. It was something close to infuriating, when she felt like this, but that wasn't conducive. No. She had to focus on getting Yaz out, and trying very hard not to think if the monster had gone ahead and killed Yaz. She had to imagine that he wouldn't, right? And of course, if he had - her rage would be enough to burn this place to the ground. That feeling was burning in the back of her head, and she couldn't let it out, couldn't let it consume her. She didn't want to be that Doctor, not any more.

"Dunno, Granddad. A day? I don't know how time moves in this place." Ryan sighed. He shifted against the wall where they were sat. The place was still pretty dark, but they had moved when the Doctor had deemed it safe. It seemed to be a storage room, judging by the boxes in the corner, covered in dust. Ryan had cracked one open in his curiousity and found it packed full of what seemed to be some kind of protein bars and packets with strange pills. The Doctor had thoroughly investigated them and declared them safe. The pills were especially weird - one on the tongue would pop open and fill the mouth with fresh, clean water. She had taken one and gone back to pacing.

Peering at the wall she had covered with notes, the Doctor sighed, lowly. She had to figure it out. She had to.   
"D'you think Yaz is okay?"   
"She's gotta be. Doc wouldn't've kept us here this long if she wasn't, right?"  
"But that big guy - if she shot -"  
"No, she wouldn't. Why would you throw away y'only bargaining chip? Yaz'll be okay."  
"And then the Doctor'll get that chip out of her and we can get out of here. I really hate this place."  
"Yeah, me too, son." Graham sighed, nibbling on his protein bar, having eaten his sandwich several hours previously. "Wonder if we'll ever actually go somewhere that doesn't end up being an adventure?"  
Ryan chuckled lowly. "Nah, don't think so. Where'd the fun be in that?" 

She smiled to herself, adjusting the sharpie she was using in her hand. There were calculations, plans, half written words as ideas had struck her. She had to figure out the best way to approach this, but her mind was just refusing to give her anything good. Pacing over to the pair, she hopped up onto the side of the still sealed box, resting her arms on her lap and looking at them.  
"You should get some sleep." she said, gently, "I'll keep watch."  
"Doc, you haven't slept since we got here." Graham objected. "I can take a watch."  
"I won't sleep." she said, shaking her head, "And you guys need it more than me."

Ryan sighed, sitting forward a little.  
"Doctor, what's the plan? What are we going to do?" he asked, firmly, "Because I don't want to just sit here whilst Yaz is in danger."  
"Alright, son, alright," Graham soothed, but Ryan shook his head.  
"No, I hate this! We're just sitting here, and Yaz is out there -"  
"I know!" the Doctor slammed both hands down on the chest with a hollow thud. "I know, Ryan, I'm sorry, okay? I cannot make a mistake. If I make a mistake here, then Yaz -"  
"And what was the stunt with the guns, huh!?" he was on his feet now, eye to eye with her despite the fact she was sat high. She stiffened her shoulders, hands tensing. Graham managed to get up, too, hesitating in the corner of her eye.

"You could've hurt her! You could've gotten her killed, and now you're dragging your heels?!"  
"That's not what's happening!" the Doctor exclaimed, sharply, and then got to her feet in one move, looking taller despite now standing shorter than Ryan's height. She saw Graham flinch back a little, a hand on Ryan's arm. "Ryan - I had to act. To get you out of there. I've lost Yaz, I'm not losing you two too! If I thought we could get back to the TARDIS safely I would have you in there already." she shook her head. "I have to disable these devices, and I have to do it without anyone dying."  
"So you need to look at one." Ryan said, a little softer. "You need to see a device."

"Maybe." she murmured. "It would be easier if I had access to whatever mainframe they're using to control those people." she shook her head, running a hand through her hair, grasping at it with the effect of a strong breeze, leaving strands stood up in multiple directions. "I'm pretty sure it's all based in his chair, which means getting to it is going to be a nightmare," she murmured, "But why would he sit here on an army and do nothing with it?" she shook her head again, looking back at her wall of writing.

"I can't take this any more." Ryan muttered. The Doctor turned her head at the movement, jolting - too slow. Graham's brows drew in as he pushed past and out the door, hopping over the broken down wall that blocked them.  
"What - Ryan! What're you playing at, son!?" Graham took off after him, the Doctor in hot pursuit as they pushed into the surprisingly hot air outside. 

"Get back here!" she hissed, "Ryan! Y'gonna get yourself killed -" she paused, head perking up like a meerkat, swivelling in place. No sign of any of their enemy, not here, but they were pretty far out - she could see the building that they had been sequestered in a distance away. Ryan had taken off at an awkward run, caught between his need for action and his worry about falling over. "Stay here, Graham! That's an order!" she said, sharply, before taking off after him. She didn't spare the older man a thought as she sprinted across the arid landscape, hyperaware of every sound around them. Ryan's panting was echoing through her brain, and she almost collided with him against a wall as her booted feet skidded in the sand.

"What are you doin'!?" she hissed, glaring at him.  
"I'm gonna save Yaz!"  
"How? How are you gonna save Yaz? Do you have any idea -"  
"Look, you've seen those people! We could take them, they can't do anything without him -"  
"We can't hurt them, Ryan! They're innocent! And if we hurt them then we're as bad as they are -"  
"It doesn't work like that, Doctor! Y'ain't divided into like, good people who never hurt anyone and bad people who sometimes hurt people, right? Sometimes, to be good, you gotta hurt someone -"  
"Not innocents!" she drew back a little, brows pressing in, "Maybe you're not who I thought you were." she murmured.

"I'm scared!" Ryan exploded back, before realising what he'd said. He shook his head, rubbing a hand over his mouth. "Look. Yaz is in danger. And I know you don't wanna lose her, either, Doctor, so you need to stop hiding. We need a plan, right? And you do the best plans. You gotta have something."  
"I - yes. Maybe - maybe I do." she sighed. "But it's risky, Ryan, and I can't - I need you safe before I do it. I have to get you back to the TARDIS. You're all just targets." she said, gently. "Trust me."

"Of course I do." he sighed, shaking his head again, "But Doctor, you do know we ain't leaving you, right? We're part of this. We agreed. And we want to get Yaz out of here as much as you do, so. Not sending us away." she shut her eyes, taking a half step back.  
"Fine." she said, softly. "Fine, Ryan. Y'win. Okay." she nodded, making her decision. "We're going to go back and negotiate. He wants me. So I'm sure I can come up with -"  
Ryan's eyes were widening. She turned ever so slightly, spotting a shape in her vision -  
"Run!" she shoved him, taking off at a dash, throwing open a door - and colliding with the shape behind it. Hands wrapped around her arms, strong and thick skinned.

Twisting, she saw as Ryan was grasped too, fighting as best he could, but they were overwhelmed. The guns were gone, but they were more than strong enough to drag her along with Ryan.   
"This wasn't part of the plan!" he shouted to her. She couldn't help a tiny smile, even as all her ideas crashed and burned. Think on her feet. Good at that. Always had been.

But as they were tugged relentlessly through the rooms, she realised they weren't going back to the council-table-come-throne-room. They were taken down, two flights of stairs - stumbling at their difficult grip - and then shoved unceremoniously into an empty room, devoid of windows and with one light blinking above. Hands shoved into pockets, taking away her sonic, psychic paper and Ryan's phone, too.   
"Oi! That's not yours!" Ryan objected, but the blank eyed drones didn't respond, hands rough. The Doctor caught a glimpse of scorched palms before the doors were slammed shut and a lock clicked firmly. 

"Sorry, Doctor." he said, sheepishly, when it was clear they were stuck. "So, um. Got any plans."  
"Oh. You know me. Just a couple hundred." the Doctor grinned back.


	3. imprisonment

  
She had lost track of how many times she had paced the length of the room. Fifteen steps, twelve in the other direction, and then back again. Fifteen, twelve, fifteen, twelve. She wondered if Ryan would manage it in less steps, but he was sat in the middle of the room. She wondered why there weren't grooves in the floor for how many steps she had taken, really, but the floor was made of wood, must be a pretty strong wood. She wondered how many days she would have to lap the floor to begin making an impression. Maybe once upon a time it had been a guest room, but no window? It wasn't a traditional jail cell, that was for sure, but - 

She walked past the shape of Ryan where he was sat on the floor. Again. She focused on the movement, each step. She thought about Graham, wondering if he was still hunkering in the space where they'd left him when they ran off. She thought about Yaz. She wondered if she was okay. She wondered why they hadn't been visited, not even for food or water. She wondered and wondered whilst she kept moving, having to send her energy somewhere, considering scrawling all over these walls, too.   
"Will you knock it off?" Ryan grumbled, as she passed by his head again. "You're makin' me dizzy. Come sit down." he sighed. She paused, hesitating for a moment before moving over and sinking to sit cross-legged opposite him.

"Come on with those plans then?" he broached, more a suggestion than anything else. She wrinkled her nose.  
"Not always practical," she admitted, "Mostly involving forcing our way out of the door. I could pick it if I had a pin, but I don't. No sonic. I'm imagining they won't be able to resist gloating for much longer. No wires in here for me to fiddle with." she added. Literally nothing in the room except for them, after all. "Can't pick the lock without tools so I can't get us out unless they come in themselves, and even then, don't have high chances. No window to break out of." she sighed. "Sorry, Ryan. I'll get somethin', don't worry."

"Graham's still out there. And Yaz is tough, bet she could get herself out of the mind control, right?" she grimaced. "What was it you were talking about before, with the - override thing?"  
"Oh. Humans have this - thing in them. Its a self preservation instinct. A lot of aliens overlook it, but most conscious creatures actually have it. Your body quite likes being alive and it'll try to preserve that." she explained, "A few years ago - wow, quite a long time ago now, really, it's amazing how time slips past - uh. I was in a - bad state after I regenerated. Didn't really go right." she cleared her throat. "Worse than how I was when I met you. And this species, the Sycorax, attacked Earth - do you remember? People lining rooftops?"  
"Oh, wow, yeah, I remember. I uh - I slept through it. Me and nan weren't effected." he admitted, awkwardly, "Woke up with all that chaos. Scary. Wait, were you behind that?"

"Sort of. They used this thing called blood control - very rudimentary mind control, really." she explained, "But the self preservation instinct, it can break it. So when I hit the big red 'jump off the roof' button -"  
"Everyone snapped out of it." he realised. She nodded. "But that won't work here?"  
"They're overriding it. It'll still act to a degree, but if you can convince the mind that it wants you to do it ... then it won't work. This is much more advanced than blood control."  
"If you were so worried about hurting Yaz, why did you do - whatever you did to that machine when we ran?"  
"Oh. It's not programmed into the neural processes, it uses a, uh, a psychic loop, essentially? So I temporarily shorted a signal box. It was just a distraction."

"If you got the sonic back, would you be able to disable them all?" he murmured.  
"Not without getting into the base code. Need to get to the throne, with my sonic, disable it from there. And we don't know how far under some of these people are..." the Doctor shook her head, fluffing her hair once again. "We'll do it, Ryan. Just gotta wait for an opportunity." she hopped up again, pacing around the space, back in her pattern. He sighed, and she pretended that she hadn't heard it, resuming digging at her plans.  
"Maybe Graham will show up." he flopped over onto his back, staring at the ceiling.  
She didn't bother responding to that, step after step as she went past him.

An awkward silence fell. The room was uncomfortably quiet, in fact; it was starting to dig into her brains. There was one low hum from just outside the thick door. She could hear Ryan, every human part of him, breathing, heart beating, disgusting wet noises as his stomach growled. He'd slipped into something like a doze, and the Doctor wondered how he had managed to fall asleep. Her time sense told her that they'd been in here for over a day now. Graham would be okay, but Yaz... she kept up her pacing. She'd make a groove if she was determined enough. Her eyes went up to the ceiling; she frowned. Maybe ... pressing her hands against the wall, the Doctor walked the full length of the room, tapping occasionally, listening ... various echoes came back, telling her where they were in the building, at the least... any information was good information.

She came to a stop at the door, pressing her ear against it. Thick wood, she couldn't hear much through it .. she tapped gently, again, running her fingers over the grain. Something, anything - steps. There were steps, foggy on the other side but there, definitely approaching. She inhaled sharply and stepped back.  
"Ryan. Wake up." she whispered. "Someone's coming. We have a chance."

"Mmf, what?" he mumbled, and then sat up, groaning lowly with a hand rubbing where his head had been resting on the hard floor. "What's goin' on?"  
"Someone's coming." she repeated. "They're going to have to open the door. So we can get out of here, quick as you like, just gotta think fast, alright? Follow my lead." she crouched next to him for a moment, and he sat up, rolling up to his feet as she bounced back up encouragingly, positioning herself just in front of him. "If I have anywhere near a good a grasp on them as I do, they're going to want to gloat about beating me. Do wonder where they heard about me, though," the Doctor added, thoughtfully, before shaking her head, "And if we can keep them down here long enough, we might be able to get to the throne room." she had no doubt that they would be able to get out of there once the devices were disabled, although getting them out was also a thought ...

The footsteps were just audible when the door clicked open. Just as the Doctor had anticipated. There they were; standing cockily, arms folded over their chest, sharp toothed smirk on their face, tail swishing slowly on the floor behind them.  
"How are we feeling, Doctor?" they asked, tone low and mocking. "Hungry? Tired? Bored?" they chuckled. She let her eyes drift over behind him - there were the expected clones.  
"Oh, you know me, make the best of a bad situation." she said, lightly. "How's your little army doing, there? Fixed your guns yet?" the smirked dropped into a scowl.

"Don't you worry, Doctor, we have plenty of creative solutions. However ..." he gestured, and one of the bodies moved through the space towards them.   
"Yaz." Ryan breathed. The Doctor stepped forward, eyes widening a little. She looked - undamaged. The Doctor's eyes searched over her, desperate for any hint, any idea that she had been harmed, and felt a wave of relief when there was nothing there. She wasn't holding a gun, but her hands were wrapped around what looked like a short black baton.   
"Yes, after your little stunt, I did consider destroying her." the Gnorrian drawled. "But I thought of a much better way to get my revenge. Have fun, Doctor." they chuckled, and shut the door - leaving Yaz inside the space with them.

"Yaz -" Ryan made to rush forward, to wrap his arms around her. The Doctor thrust an arm out, pushing him back, eyes fixed on Yaz's face.   
"Don't go any closer." she said, softly. "We don't know what they've done to her."  
"But she's here, Doctor! You can fix her, right?"   
"Yeah. Yeah, 'course I can." she swallowed hard and moved cautiously closer, looking at the blank expression on her friend's face. "No sonic, no idea how to disarm them, plus they've been surgically implanted but sure, yeah, I can - definitely do it." she edged a little closer. As soon as she was within a foot, hand reaching out, Yaz shifted. The Doctor stumbled back - she had braced her position, raising the baton - and pressing a button on the side. With a soft 'shwing' noise, the baton extended, now near enough five feet long - with a deadly sharp point at the edge of each tip.

"Oh, sh-" Ryan backed up hurriedly. The Doctor swallowed hard, holding her arms out in a calming gesture, backed up just a little.   
"Yaz. Yaz, it's the Doctor. Fight this, okay? Fight it for me. I'm going to help you, I promise."   
Yaz straightened a little, eyes barely even seeming to see them. She swung the deadly baton, and started to walk forward, forcing the Doctor and Ryan to back up. "Yaz, I don't want to fight you." the Doctor whispered.  
"I don't think we have a choice, Doctor." Ryan responded, softly, as Yaz marched inexorably toward them.


	4. impaling

  
"Yaz. Come on." the Doctor's voice was low, desperate, holding out her hands as if in surrender. Her throat bobbed as she stared at the hollow look in Yaz's eyes. Ryan had backed all the way up, now, against the wall, and she was painfully aware of every breath in his body and how very much she wanted to keep it that way. Ryan breathing was a very good thing, even if it was racing right now. On the contrary, Yaz's breathing was frighteningly even, utterly steady as she stared down her friends, deadly weapon in hand. When she shifted her grip, the Doctor caught sight of scorched palms and winced ever so slightly. Whoops.

"I'm going to help you, but you have to let me get close."  
"Doctor, what's the plan?" Ryan said, shakily, from his corner.   
"Stay back, stay clear," the Doctor called back, "They said it was a psychic field, which means I might be able to break through, right? Might be able -" she exhaled slowly, "Just gotta get close enough." she was a touch telepath, but if she tried - she needed the TARDIS to fully extend a field, but if she could break into Yaz's head - 

"Whoa!" the whirling noise was the only hint she got of what was coming. The pole moved, swift and smooth and dangerous - she jolted backwards as it went within an inch of her head. Yaz moved towards her, whatever programming was going on in that little device now getting to work. There had to be lag somewhere, right? But - she still had a hell of a fight on her hands. Yaz moved forward again, spinning the sharp baton expertly.  
"Never knew y'were a pole dancer, Yaz," she quipped, ducking as it swung past her head, standing threads of her hair with the change in air pressure. "Alright, sorry! Not the time for jokes, I get it." she hopped back on her heel, shooting a momentary glance back at Ryan. Couldn't lead her too close, but it seemed like Yaz had eyes only for the Doctor right now. She could work with that.

Twisting, she briefly pressed her back to the wall, breathing fast.  
"Wonder how they showed you how to do this, huh?" she questioned, always easier to think out loud, "I don't think martial arts training is really on the Hallamshire Police training sessions, huh? Did they download it straight into your brain, or is that little chip doing all the work for you? Is big scary lizard person in control, sat on his throne? No cameras in here, but there is you - whoa!" she darted out of the way as Yaz shoved the rod forward with incredible power, the sharp end slicing into the wall and getting stuck in the plyboard. She yanked, single-mindedly, the Doctor taking the opportunity to get to the other side of the room to Ryan.

"Not much chatting going on in there, though," she added, quickly, "I mean, Yaz, y'know, you've always been good for a chat!" she shook her head, "Not a big fan of the silent treatment." she stilled. Yaz was still trying to yank the pole free. Taking her chance, the Doctor shot forward, pushing her hand out and pressing it to the side of Yaz's head, just above the ear where the the device blinked. Shutting her eyes, the Doctor let her thought reach out towards her friend. The psychic field was suddenly vivid, like a hard shell in a halo around her head.

"Yaz, I know you're in there." she whispered. "And I'm getting you out." she shut her eyes, focusing. Telepathy had never been her strong point, admittedly. And right now she was cursing that because it was hard, so hard, to push through the shell to Yaz underneath. She could feel just how solid that beacon of psychic manipulation was, but deep in there - she pushed. Harder. Come on, chip away at it. There had to be something, buried in there, something to help her shatter this, disable the chip. "Come on, Yaz, give me a sign, give me something -" this was incredible, compared to the barriers in her mind. Stronger than even the barriers in the strongest Time Lord minds she'd faced, but - a crack.

"I promise." she whispered, and there she was - a flicker of Yaz. A thought. The Doctor pushed through the crack, grasping onto it. Frail and suppressed, all the weight of the mind pushing in around her. But she could feel that little thread of Yaz, fear and confusion reigning, but also that fierce spark of determination. All being suppressed by the device casting that psychic field around her. The Doctor pushed her own mind out, brushing against the thread, feeling the cracks spreading. "Yaz. Push through. You can do it." she whispered. "I need your help, I can't do this alone." she could already feel sweat beading on her neck from the effort. But Yaz was reaching out, and the cracks were spreading, pushing her psychic influence into them. Now she knew what to do. "Memories. Yaz, bring up all your memories, anything that makes you - you. Visualise them, okay? What you would do, who you are - we have to weaken the programming -"

"Doctor!" the voice was distant, foggy, male. Worried. There was a surge, like white lights, and the Doctor gasped, staggering back against the far wall, hand jerking away from Yaz's head like she'd been burnt. Catching her breath - Yaz was free. She turned the pole, walking stiffly towards the Doctor, but - stuttering steps. As if her mind was fighting.   
"That's it, Yaz, you can do it!" the Doctor insisted, urgently, "You can fight it, you can break it -" 

The pain was blinding. Half going limp, a ragged scream escaped from her.   
"Doctor!" Ryan's voice was an alarmed yell from somewhere behind the form grasping the handle of the baton. She turned her head, slowly, to where it was protruding from her shoulder. Maybe two inches thick at the part where it had driven all the way through, and she could feel the pressure where she was pinned to the wall. Orange-tinted blood was flooding down her front, staining her shirts, and her left arm only half responding to movement signals she sent down it.   
"Yaz..." she blinked up at the woman, now, grasping the pole herself, but it was too firmly in her. Time Lords might not go into shock the same way humans did, but this -

"Doctor!" Ryan had thrown caution to the wind and was now there, next to her, staring at Yaz as she let go of the pole and stepped back. The light flashing at her neck was flickering faster and faster, before it sparked, and died. She blinked, stumbling, and then gasped.   
"Doctor?" Yaz whispered. "Doctor, what - what did I do?" she murmured, moving closer.  
"You did it! Yaz, you broke free -"  
"I - oh, god, you're really hurt, Doctor, you're - you're so hurt." she whispered, putting a hand on the Doctor's shoulder, not sure what to do, where to touch - to help. "There's so much blood, what the hell is going on?"

"I'm fine, Yaz. Don't worry about me." she whispered, breathlessly, "You have to do me a favour, okay? You need to act like they still have you." she met Yaz's eyes, trying hard not to think about what felt like a patch of pure white, a brilliant agony that existed in her shoulder. The bleeding was bad but it would be far worse if they took it out. She could tell it had missed anything major, she could knit it up if she was able to get a few good hours in a healing coma, but - she swallowed hard. This was more important. "They'll be back to see if you did what you were supposed to. We have to make sure they think you belong to them, okay?" she bit her lip, "No matter what you do. Dead eyes, no reaction, no movement. Please." 

Yaz nodded, tears shining in her eyes as she backed up a little.   
"How do we help you now?"  
"I have to stay like this."  
"Why?!" Ryan demanded, breathless with horror.   
"Because this is what Yaz had to do! She wouldn't let you help me, Ryan, so you have to stay in the corner. Act scared. Okay? I promised Im gonna get you out of this, and I promise that's what I'll do. Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

The sound of footsteps reached her a moment later. Taking a steadying breath, the Doctor glanced between the two of them. Yaz gave a tiny nod, hardening her face. Ryan moved to the corner.   
"Here we go. Okay." she took in a deep breath then let out a bloodcurdling scream, breaking off into half-sobs of agony. "Yaz! Yaz, why? Yaz, please! Talk to me!" she whimpered, watching as Yaz managed, astoundingly, to keep her face entirely blank. The door was thrown open, accompanied with a raspy chuckling and the scrape of a tail on the ground as the monster walked in. Yaz tensed, but didn't move away. The Doctor clutched at the pole in her shoulder, looking at them.

"What have you done to her?" she gasped out, "What did you do? Why - you wanted me alive. You wanted me alive, so this -"  
"You're still alive." they said, softly, "Aren't you, Doctor? So now you understand what our deal is. You're going to help me. Or - well, here we are." they leant towards her, hot air escaping their nostrils. She did her best not to wrinkle her nose in disgust. "Every time you resist me, I'll get your little friend here to hurt you." they reached out, cupping Yaz's jaw. "Or your other soft friend. How does that sound, for a deal?" they tilted their head, showing their sharp teeth, laughing again. "Don't worry, Doctor, I have no intention of letting you bleed to death... not until after you assist me." 

She exhaled slowly, carefully. The clawed paw reached out and pressed a hidden switch on the pole - it whirred and closed back to a baton, still stuck in her shoulder, stopping the blood from flowing. Her legs buckled, and the Doctor dropped to her knees, now freed from where she had been pinned into the wall. Her throat bobbed, tilting to look back up at the deadly slit eyes. "My name, by the way. Saren." they told her. "Saren Whiteblood. Do you know me now, Doctor?" 


	5. "Take me instead."

She stared up at Saren, Saren Whiteblood, looking ever so smug in her direction. The white hot pain in her shoulder was really rather threatening to obliterate everything in her vision, so shifting her mind to this conversation was a very good idea. She narrowed her eyes, brows drawing in, thinking, thinking ...   
"Doesn't ring a bell." she said, eventually. "Am I supposed to know who you are?" she added, brows raising, "Are you the Ed Sheeran of the day, Saren Whiteblood?" her head canted just slightly to the side, ignoring the way that tiny tug of muscles against her shoulder sent tendrils of that light streaming down into her blood. She was very much not a fan of the whole pole through the shoulder look, at this stage.

They scowled, lip curling again.  
"Funny. For one so supposedly lauded, you're awfully ignorant, Doctor." they growled out, reaching down and grabbing her arm, jerking her upright. The Doctor couldn't help but cry out again, fighting her legs as they tried so hard to buckle below her, but years of determination meant that she was at least able to keep herself up even as her arm was apparently trying to disconnect and float off into the heavens above. At least that was how it felt. Yeah, this was rather bad, honestly. She spared a glance over at Ryan, perhaps leaning towards regretting it when she saw how pale and terrified he looked.

"All gonna be fine." she whispered, looking back at Saren. "Right. Well. However important you are, Saren Whiteblood, you want to strike a deal. So, you have me." she swallowed hard. "And you have Yaz, but - but what I want you to do - take me instead. She can be your little spy, right? She can stay here. I'd ask you to release her but we both know you won't do that. And I could fight you, and trust me, I would win. Venutian Akido, real good at it, honest. But you want my help, and I'm curious. So leave her here. No programming. No threats, just - let her exist."   
"And why should I do that, Doctor?"  
"Oh, it's just my mate Ryan." she gestured at him, curling her shoulders in a little, resisting the urge to press a hand up against the injury. "He gets lonely, see, here in this room. At least if Yaz is in here he can talk to her. Won't achieve anything, might as well talk to a coat rack with that little bug in her neck, but hey - there's no coat rack to talk to." she held still, a grin pasted onto her face. "Go on. Take me instead, I'm much more fun."

The monster considered a moment before throwing their head back and laughing. Their tail whipped, before they nodded, tugging her - thankfully by her good shoulder, this time.   
"Fine. I have no use for her anyway. And, after all - if you cause problem, you've left me a tool perfectly placed to hurt your other little pet." they nodded, and the Doctor spared a glance to Ryan, a tiny little nod. They would be okay. She let Saren Whiteblood lead her out of the room, into a group of their slaves, and shut the door firmly, locking it and tucking the key away in an inside pocket. 

The Doctor fell into step, watching them move around her, flowing and ebbing almost automatically, but still all with that stiff lockstep that made her so very uncomfortable.   
"How do you do that, then? Got 'em on remote control? Got an app on y'phone?" she asked, "I mean, there's gotta be some lag going on, even with a sophisticated psychic feed generator. Takes a lot of power to maintain that many devices. And I saw how Yaz fought, she couldn't do that before. You taking control directly, like a little - people video game?" she pestered. "Or do you download it like a file, tuck the info right into their cortex? Only I know how a psychic manipulator works, and if you have a really good one, even that's going to struggle to make any permanent changes - other than perhaps removing the sense of self. And that takes years." she raised her brows at him.

"I have no intention of acting like a television villain, Doctor." the lizard said, calmly, as they walked steadily at her side, "You won't find me monologuing about an evil plan. Once I was a businessperson." they shook their head, "Plans for a family, at a later date. Then I was a soldier, I was strong and I was loyal... And then I was a victim, although half the universe saw me as guilty as the rest of my kind for the sheer crime of existing where resources were." they scoffed, looking down at her again. "And now? I won't be any of those things again. I can play any role, Doctor, but this - this is what I am. A leader. And I will take my power and I will do good things with it."  
"Sorry. I don't count turning innocent people into your playthings as leadership." she found herself snarling, venom rising in her tone, unable to tamp it down as the rage flourished like a flame in her chest.

"You've taken people, good people, hard working people, and you've made them victims as much as your planet. This isn't leadership, this is tyranny." she shook her head, "So tell me why you would want me, hm? What good can I do? Where have you heard my name, because you seemed awfully proud of knowing me by reputation?"  
"Oh, Doctor. Your name was a mantra for my people, for a while. I don't know when you came, or why you were there, in the common consciousness. They would whisper your name at night, to the stars. Begging, praying you would come and save us. Of course, you never appeared. No mythical figure. Just another person. Fallible." they tutted and shook their head. "An ego the size of the planet, and perhap the respect of many more. Supposedly you fix things. So I'm planning on using you, Doctor - as my embassador. You'll go out there and get me the support I deserve. After all, with the Doctor on my side... who would doubt me?" they grinned again, all sharp teeth.

"Y'jokin'." the Doctor laughed, shaking her head, "Why would I do that? Go out there and what = set you up as a big hero? Or, do you want to be known as a warlord, mm? Do as I say or I'll release my army of zombie people on you? Because that won't work, Soren, will it? They need to be close to the devices, your little routers, and if they go too far or get disconnected from the system, their minds are going to spring back and you are very much not going to be on the wall for employee of the month." 

There were the curling lip, the show of teeth, the disgust. Oh, it was the best part of harassing people like this - getting under their skin. Or, well, scales, in this situation. She turned her head forward again, looking where they were going.   
"I had planned to get you fixed up, Doctor, but maybe I should leave you with that pole sticking out of your arm." they snapped, lowly, "It's rather a good look. The great Doctor, tamed. Although you are making rather a mess of my floor." they tutted, stepping through a doorway and down some stairs. The Doctor frowned. This wasn't the way back to the throne room. Where were they going?

"I'm going to give you an option, Doctor, because I have some kindness in me. As I said - I was into business, a trader, when I first came here. An easy way into the system, of course. And I still enjoy the thrill of haggling, so. I am going to chip you. We are also going to give you medical care. And you are going to be my ambassador. Our technology improves all the time, and when we are ready to make our claim, well - we won't have the issues you have so cleverly deduced. So what order shall we do this in, Doctor? I can chip you now so you don't feel the surgery. Or you can be chipped after." they smirked. "Of course, the pain might still be there - you might just have to stand there and take it." they chuckled, now, pushing the door open into what looked like a lab. People in lab coats moved around, shooting nervous glances at Saren and the Doctor. Her eyes flickered over their necks - the devices were there but the lights were off.

"They can still think for themselves?" she asked, softly, "You have scientists working here?"  
"Oh, yes. But they all know what will happen if they don't do as I say." they smirked. "It's ever so easy to reactivate those chips. But they work so hard for me - making each one better. You!" they snapped their fingers at a dark haired woman, pulled back into a tight bun. She turned quickly, scurrying to his side. When she turned, the Doctor saw her tusks and deep red eyes. "You're the medic, aren't you?" they asked, and she nodded, clearly too scared to speak. "Fix this." they pointed at the Doctor's shoulder, "Then chip her. The latest model." they smirked. "If she gets away, you know what awaits." and then they turned, striding out of the room, cocky and casual.

The Doctor looked at the tusked woman, eyes widening.  
"You don't have to do this." she said, low and urgent, "I can help, I -"  
"You need it out." the medic was peering at the weapon. The other scientists continued scurrying around the place, the Doctor looking carefully over everything going on, trying to absorb as much information as she could. "Come with me. Come, now, come." she led the Doctor through another doorway, into what was a strange medical space, like a cross between another lab and a doctor's office. Pushing the Doctor into a chair, she thoroughly investigated the injury, poking and listening to the Doctor's gasps.

"Hm. Hard to fix." the Doctor said nothing. She hated places like this, hated them with a passion, but - the truth was she couldn't do much with this bad an injury. She needed a healing coma - there was no way she was going to be able to get fixed up otherwise - and she had no plan on regenerating out here. "Here. Take this." the horned woman held up a pill.  
"What is it?" the Doctor asked, unsure.   
"Anaesthetic." the tusked woman replied. "Knock you out so I can heal you." the Doctor hesitated. She'd rather be conscious.   
"What's your name?" she asked, low. There was a pause, waiting, uncertain -   
"Susan."  
"Susan. Hi. I'm the Doctor. Listen, I have to get back to my friends. Promise you won't chip me before I wake up? Please?" she asked, low and desperate. Susan hesitated. Considered. Then nodded.   
"Take the tablet. I'll do the best I can."

She nodded, took a deep breath, and swallowed the pill. The room faded, going fuzzy, then fading out, and she slumped into the seat, breathing easing out as the medic got to work.


	6. insomnia

  
"Yaz, she's gonna be okay."   
"You don't know that." she couldn't stop rubbing her fingers over the bump in her skin where the light had been shining previously. Her hands were throbbing, not the mention the killer headache she had. Ryan had seated himself against the wall in the far corner, and she had her back to the door - the idea being to be aware if anyone was approaching so she could jump up and assume her previous 'zombified' state. She looked at her hands again, grimacing at the curled and burnt patches and the fresh skin showing under. They weren't unusable, but they ached. Whatever the Doctor had done to the guns, they'd all suffered for it. 

Her eyes were drawn to the hole in the wall, the blood staining around it. Every time she looked her throat felt tighter. She'd done that. And sure, she wasn't really aware of what her body had done under control - it was like there was a filter over it. Only the Doctor reaching out into her mind had really woken her up.  
"What was it like?" Ryan had asked some variation of this question a dozen times since the Doctor had left them behind. She knew it was the fear talking, and as frustrating as it was, she understood. With the Doctor as hurt as she was, Yaz was teetering on the edge of taking charge. For now, she had a little hope.

"Already told y', Ryan. It were like sleepwalkin'." it was the only way she could think to describe it. "I were aware, but not properly. Like - watching an old movie, but not one where you care about anyone. And I could feel things, and I were like, aware, but - it were all distant. I couldn't act because it wasn't something I could change. And every so often I got this like - impulse. Like I were in a car but someone else was drivin'. If it were something I didn't know how to do before, my brain just - followed the instructions, wi'out questionin' where they were comin' from or how I knew." god, she felt tired. But her brain wouldn't stop whirling.

"Right, Yaz. You should lay down." Ryan gave a valiant attempt at firmness, looking at her, eyes filled with worry that he was terrible at hiding. She couldn't help but smile at him, and his caring nature. "Seriously. I'll take first watch, if I hear anyone coming, I'll wake you up." he promised. "Lay down, try and get some rest. I think you've earnt it. No arguments!" he got up and moved towards her, gesturing her away from the door and towards the spot he'd vacated. "I'll wake you up when we need to swap."  
"Cheers, Ryan." she had considered resisting, but he had a point. She wasn't sure how long she'd been awake now. Her mind conjured a foggy image of some kind of ... barracks, rows of rough wooden slats that she had laid on, but... how long before the shifts had changed, that she had actually slept, were harder to perceive.

She sat with a soft thump in the corner he'd vacated, trying to get something approaching comfortable. She had started to shut her eyes when a bundle of soft fabric hit her in the face. Spluttering, she tugged it away, glaring at him.   
"Ryan!" he had a cheeky grin stretched across his features. "What were that for?"  
"Pillow for you." she looked at what had smacked her - it was his hoodie, loosely balled up.   
"But it's well cold in here. You'll freeze." she objected, as he shook his head, anticipating the end of her sentence.   
"It's good. Help with the whole stayin' awake thing, right? Go to bed, Yaz. That's an order." perhaps he undercut the message by grinning at her, but she sighed.

"Alright, fine," she acquiesced, folding up his hoodie and getting as comfortable as possible. "Dunno what's worse, the B.O or that cheap deodorant you wear." she teased, as lightly as she could, still grinning across at her friend.  
"Oi! I'm doin' you a favour, don't forget it," Ryan scolded, "And why should I pay two quid a can when Lunx is only fifty pee? It does just fine." he scoffed, causing her to dissolve into giggles  
"Yeah, if I'm findin' you funny, definitely need to sleep." she jibed. He gasped, putting a hand on his chest, unable to hide the smile breaking up his illusion of shock-horror.   
"You wound me, mate. I am nothin' but kind and charitable and this is what I get for it?" he tutted. 

He rested his back against the door, fidgeting until he was as comfortable as he could be. Resisting the urge to shut his eyes, Ryan took to letting them wander the room. She could feel them sweeping over her occasionally as she curled up. Feeling like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards was one kind of fun sensation, but at least she could relax, for now. The chip was disabled. Her fingertips wandered up to press on it again, a sickening feeling rolling through her stomach as it moved under her skin. And she could feel how wrecked her body was, the way her shoulders carried leaden weights and her whole form wanted to give into beautiful unconsciousness.

So she shut her eyes, breathed deep, forcing herself to calm. Sleep was waiting, surely? It snapped at her heels, and she surrendered to the jaws.  
Only she didn't.  
After a few minutes - hard to tell how long accurately, in this place - Yaz fought more waves of frustration than of sleep. Her body could have been weeping with it's eagerness for unconsciousness, but her mind was clinging to wakefulness like a bulldog to bacon.

Shifting how she was sat, Yaz adjusted her corner, the hoodie bunched under her head. No matter how tired she felt, her body wanted to settle, but - her mind was running. The device in her neck could reactivate at any moment. Maybe sleep would let it in, again, and she would come to with the weapon embedded in her friend's shoulder - or worse. She felt a wave of nausea, and although her legs ached, dragged herself upright. Ryan looked over.  
"Yaz, what're you doin'?" he questioned. "Told you. I'm taking first watch."   
"No, I - I can't sleep." she murmured. "I'm trying. Promise." she dusted herself down, wincing as her palms caught on her jeans. "Can't stop thinking about the Doctor. About what I - I did -"

"Whoa, hey, Yaz -" he scrambled up, far more flailing limbs than Yaz, but moved to her side, wrapping her in his arms. She rested her head on his chest - not that there was anywhere else to really rest it - accepting the comforting gesture. But it didn't help. Fuck, she was knackered.   
"I'm sorry, Ryan. I just - what if I hurt her again? What if I hurt you, or Graham? Fuck - where's Graham? I didn't even ask!" she drew back, shaking her head.  
"Granddad's fine. Or, well, he was. We left him somewhere safe." Ryan explained, gently, "And you know the Doc'll be fine -"  
"I stabbed a fucking - thing - right through her, Ryan!" she pointed at the bloody hole in the wall.  
"Okay, yeah, but - it's the Doctor, innit? She'll be fine, Yaz. And she got you in here with me, that's something."

Yaz went quiet for a moment, thinking quickly.   
"Yeah. She did. Why?" she murmured, "Surely I'd be more use out there?" Yaz stilled, brain whirring. She wanted nothing more than a soft bed but if her brain wasn't going to let her rest then she had to spur it to action. "There has to be a reason, she wouldn't've left me in here otherwise." Ryan nodded, slowly. "Might just have been she didn't want me spotted, but I don't think they can see through us, so I don't know if they'll even know this isn't on." she pressed on the device in her neck again. "And if that guy is in charge, he's just - one guy." she frowned. "We can figure this out, Ryan. We can. The Doctor trusts us."

Ryan sat back down, putting his back against the wall again.   
"D'you have anything on you?" he asked, softly, "They took everything off me and the Doctor when they caught us. Granddad might be able to do something but he's on his own so we have no way of communicating."  
"And next time we see the Doctor she's going to be chipped." Yaz realised, throat feeling tight. If she even survives, whispered an awful part of her brain. "Okay. We have to think fast. When I was - under, when I had commands, I did them but it wasn't like - it wasn't like, oh, I've been told to attack someone. It was more like I just - thought of it myself and did it." she shuddered slightly, horrified. That had been the worst part. The horrified, distant part of herself watching as she decided it was a great idea to attack the woman who had become the most important thing in her life.

"Ryan, we have to get out of this room." she murmured, starting to pace around the space, a hand on the wall. "We have to find a way to get the hell out of here, find Graham and then - then we can save the Doctor." she exhaled slowly. "So how do we get out of here? Can't pick the lock."  
"The Doctor already did that. Walked around for hours." Ryan said, shaking his head, "If there was a way out I think she would have found it."  
"Okay. But - there's things we didn't have before." Yaz realised, eyes widening.  
"Like what?" Ryan scoffed, but Yaz raised her arm, pointing at the bloodied hole in the wall.

"You can't be serious." Ryan got up again, frowning as he walked over. It was only a couple of inches thick, if that - Yaz leant down, peering through.   
"There's another room, I think." she said, softly, "It went all the way through, which means the wall's weakened. We could rip it open, get out."  
"With our bare hands? Yaz, that'd take hours -"  
"Well, we better get started." she said, digging a few fingers into the gap and pulling, ignoring the pain. She put her full force into it and the wall began to break down, at least, splinters coming away, but Ryan was right. She wasn't getting through fast enough -

"Knife."   
"What?"   
"Yaz, you have a knife strapped to your hip."  
She startled, looking down. He was right. Tucked in a dark holster on the waistband she'd been given when she was first chipped. She hadn't even realised, her mind had fogged so badly. Struggling with the grip, with her burned palms, Yaz pulled out. Ryan whistled lowly, at the size of it. A proper hunting knife, one edge serrated.   
"Thank you, creepy dinosaur dude." she beamed, before driving it into the wall, getting to work properly digging a way through to the other side. 

Plaster chips rained down onto the floor. The knife slipped through her grip as Yaz cursed, and Ryan moved to her side from the door.   
"Whoa, Yaz - your hands. You go listen at the door, alright? I can do this." she'd made a good dent in the wall already, even if it was a little ragged, and he took the knife from her grip.  
"I'm perfectly cap -"  
"I know you are, alright? It just makes more sense for me to do this." he promised, and she moved away, glaring slightly as she took up position, listening carefully. Ryan threw himself into the task, his slightly wonky aim not really an issue here as he hacked, more and more chunks of wall falling away.

"Kinda like it," he told Yaz, with a grin, "Good way to get rid of a bad mood, rip a hole in a wall." he bent down, peering through the gap. "Yeah, there's another room here. Looks kinda like this one." he explained, "Wait, no - there's boxes. Must be storage." he shoved his arm through the gap. "Just need it a bit bigger and I should be able to get through."   
Yaz was investigating the door, wondering if it wouldn't've been easier to hack their way out this way. Maybe the blade of the knife could be used to force the lock, but ... no. She could see how it was deadbolted, all the way up, sturdy.   
"At least this way it won't be obvious we escaped." she mused. "Wonder why there's no cameras in here."  
"Cockiness?" Ryan suggested, driving another chunk of wall away. "Wouldn't surprise me. Yaz, you're skinnier than me, can you fit through?"

She moved over, the world for a moment a little wobbly. Slapping a hand onto her neck, Yaz found her breathing pick up, but the device didn't seem active. It was just exhaustion, she supposed.   
The gap was tight, even for her, but she twisted until her shoulders scraped through, covering her with dust, and pulled herself onto the floor on the other side. She peered around - Ryan was right. A darker room, piled with boxes. Scurrying to the door, she turned the handle, and it opened seamlessly. A careful peer into the empty corridor, she shut it firmly again and moved back to the wall. 

"Right. Let's get you out of here. Come on." he resumed hacking at the wall, and she frowned at the boxes.  
"Maybe there's something in here... keep going." she told him, starting to dig around. A lot of it seemed to be junk, boxes of fliers for events with yellowed corners, what seemed to be assorted knickknacks - a lot of them broken, a box full of what looked almost like CD's... she was looking at a box of freeze dried snacks when she realised what she was facing.  
"I think this is the stock." she said, looking around at Ryan's dust-peppered face. "From the traders. Doctor said this was a market planet, but the market's gone, right? So - they must've just shoved it away and forgotten about it."  
"That helps us how?"  
"I bet there's something useful here." she grinned. "Ryan, I think I have a plan."


	7. poisoning

  
A surprisingly pleasant numbness radiated from the general vicinity of where her shoulder had been, once upon a time, when the joint wasn't just floating in a strange void of warmth. She was happy enough to float in this distant void for just a moment, the contented sensation broken by the sound of a voice. It was distant and fluffy, but her mind latched onto the words, even if the meanings were slipping past her right now. It was strange, actually. Something deep in her head was pushing - to listen, to absorb. But something else, a weight that drove those away, that buttery feeling of safety - that she could do what she wanted. And what she wanted was to lay here quietly until she was needed...

"Which version did you use?"  
"The prototype, like you wanted. It's still not entirely stable, so I'm - we've done the best we can with it though!" panicked. Why was the voice panicked? And familiar, too, but ... unimportant... both voices, actually, seemed ... important. No, not - important ... the dissonance was starting to give her an unpleasant headache. Letting her eyes crack open just a little, through the haze of her lashes, the Doctor caught sight of the reptillian form, tail whipping back and forth behind them. She could feel her lips pulling down into a slight hint of a frown, even if she couldn't quite figure why the vision was filling her with discomfort.

The scientist was looking at a monitor, apparently fascinated. She was afraid of them, and their dangerous anger, but she was still caught up in the thrill of the science. Well, that was what the Doctor thought must be, she figured... it was something she was intimately familiar with, that constant search for answers, for knowing more. It had blinded her, in the past. But she didn't want to do anything but lay here ... did she? She opened her eyes a little more, blinking at the ceiling. The numbness was drawing back, and the ache was a rather unpleasant little jolt. Shifting her arm slowly, she felt a tug. Eyes drifted down. Motivation was hard - like she was fighting another part of herself - but she could see the bandaging underneath the hole in her torn shirt. God, they hadn't even cleaned the blood off her clothes? Disgusting.

"This one should be far more streamlined." the scientist was continuing. What was her name? The Doctor's mind clawed for the information, pushing through the fog. There was a stinging just under her ear.  
They had chipped her.  
Eyes snapped wide open as reality splashed over her, forcing away the last of her fog. Hands tensed. Despite the scientist's promise - Susan! - she had been chipped. The strange distant feeling made sense - that was the psychic field. It was pressing around her, and bless her brains, they had been fighting back as best they could. If she wasn't such a psychically receptive species, she would have been utterly caught in it's net.

Still, calm, she eased her breathing back down to a controlled level. On the bright side, they didn't seem to have noticed that she was awake now, focused instead on the screen.  
"This device is much more slender, so the process was a lot less traumatic, and the interface is cleaner." Susan was explaining, "And we've fixed some of the recharging issues, so it's drawing a lot more power from the body and it should be able to last a long time without needing to rest in a charge zone." the words were trying to drift into obscurity. The tech was still doing it's very best to fight her mind into being passive and receptive.

So all she had to do was play-act. She was good at that. Until she managed to get back her sonic, disable the devices and get out of there, of course.  
"And how well will the real life protocol work?" Saren was questioning, "She has to appear functional when speaking on my behalf at the committee."  
"Everyone we tested it on, the interactions looked considerably more natural. It requires making sure you code the interaction properly, but by the time we get to the point that you're - making the next step, you should be perfectly lined up. In the meantime, this'll keep her docile and useful."  
"And her injury?" he scowled, "If your commands had worked properly, the injury wouldn't've been so grievous -"  
"The commands are limited because there's only so much the technology we're using can do. It was intended to cast a signal to keep people calm so they could be evacuated, not using weapons -"  
"Do I need remind you of your place?"   
"No - no, of course not, I'm sorry -" the woman was cowed, turning away a little.

Saren Whiteblood turned back towards the Doctor. She inhaled just a little, forcing her face into a smooth and unresponsive canvas, doing her best not to let the field around her brain force it's way back in.  
"Ah. She's awake." they strode over to her, reaching out and grasping her chin, tilting it firmly. "Much less mouthy, good. Keep her in a standby state, for now. Don't want to use my bargaining chip just yet." they chuckled. "Although we still have her little pets as collateral." their face turned to a scowl. "Servitude seems a good price to pay for abandoning us to our fate." they muttered, shaking their head and letting go of her. "Keep streamlining the process. Do not let her die." they ordered, before stomping out.

Silence fell, except for the soft buzzing of machines. Susan slowly relaxed, with a sigh, turning to walk back to the Doctor's side. Her fingers probed the sore patch where the chip clearly was trapped - as it was touched the tug of tight stitches caught her attention. Damnit. Okay, that was a matter of importance, for now, it was going to be put away in 'things that will be dealt with when I'm out of here'. The scientist turned back away, apparently caught up in her thoughts.  
"Don't understand why the signal won't stay consistent. What are you?" she turned to peer at the Doctor again. "No known matches. Closest I can get is an Applachian, and even then, only the two hearts really ... you're talking to yourself again." Susan tutted, putting down a slender remote on the side.

A bell dinged, a soft trill overhead. The sound of dozens of feet moving in the next room.  
"Excellent." she dumped her rubber gloves into the biohazard bin and left the room, closing it firmly behind her. The Doctor gave her a few moments before sitting up.   
"Whoo. Okay." grimacing, she rubbed a hand over her eyes, stumbling to the remote on the side. "An app for controlling my brains? Really not a big fan." she muttered, searching for anything along the lines of disabling it. Finding nothing, pocketing the device, she turned to scan the space for anything else that might be useful. Her shoulder had settled into a low throb, which wasn't exactly great but was definitely better than what she'd been dealing with before.

Peering through a crack in the door, the rest of the space was empty, workbenches left unmanned. A metal box on the ceiling with a steadily blinking green light hung like a threat. Padding out into the space, cautious steps, it was alarming how everything was just ... left unlocked.  
"You really think you're untouchable." she whispered, peering up into it's beam. "But you aren't." okay. Door, get out, get the fam, disable everything, claw this piece of shit out of her neck and get home. Oh, plus stopping Saren Whiteblood from ever hurting anyone again. Easy.

Something silvery caught her eye on a desk. The Doctor scrabbled towards it, reaching out and snatching it up.  
"Oh, hello, you." she beamed, holding the sonic to her chest. She got to the door, this one locked - a quick buzz and it hissed open. "I missed you." she informed the device, before pocketing it. "Right. Just gotta get outta here ..." she paused, glancing up at the ceiling, hesitating. She considered. If she turned it off it might set off alarms, but if it wasn't active in this area - she pointed and buzzed. For a moment it only whirred softly, then the box sparked, and the light flickered out. No alarms sounded. Letting out a shaky breath, the Doctor took off down the corridor.

Even without the box signalling to her, that ache in the back of her head wasn't easing off. Neither the throbbing in her shoulder. It had changed from that all encompassing agony, but was definitely distracting. The corridor was wavering, the edges - foggy. This wasn't meant to happen. What was going on? Swallowing hard, the Doctor forced herself to keep moving, sure she would find her way to the fam sooner or later. A dozen paces down the corridor, she was forced to stop. Her hearts were beating way too fast, their patterns mismatched, nausea overwhelming her. Heaving, she brought up not much more than bile, shivers running up her spine.

"What..?" they so rarely vomited, time lord physiology was far above such things. The strange wobbly feeling was making her head spin, and she stumbled into another wall. A shout - oh. She was found, wasn't she? Tilting her head up at the shapes approaching down the corridor, breathing rasped in her chest. No. No, she had been doing so well - slumping into the wall, giving in, she slid to the floor. Each breath felt harder, as her head spun.   
"Sorry, Fam." she mumbled. "So sorry." and the forms came inexorably closer as she shut her eyes and slumped.


	8. "Hey, hey, this is no time to sleep."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit heavy, guys.

  
"Oh, God, what have they done to you?" Yaz's voice flittered through the haze around her head. "Doctor..." there were hands, soft and warm, but cooler than they usually were to her skin. But with them close now she could make out the fuzzy form of Ryan, too, as her head swung wildly and uncomfortably. It felt as though she was weathering a storm, even though part of her knew the corridor couldn't be wibbling all over the place. "Hey. It's okay. We have you. Ryan, can you take the other side?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course." arms were sliding under hers, tugging up, and despite her legs refusing to really work properly, the support meant a lot. She blinked towards the end of the corridor, blearily, glad Yaz was on the side with the injury. The height difference between her and Ryan was making the movement a little awkward, but at least she was moving. Pushing past the fear of the chip activating and making her hurt her friends, what mattered more was getting out of here.  
"How'd you find me?" focusing was helping, even if the world was wiggling unpleasantly, shifting with each step. "How -" 

Her words were interrupted by the sudden blaring of an alarm from above. Wincing, the Doctor almost fell, Ryan tugging her back up.  
"Guess they found out." Yaz laughed, encouraging the Doctor to move faster, even with her legs refusing to obey. "We have you, okay? We should have a clear path out, Doctor, then we'll get you all sorted out."   
"Yaz came up with this genius thing, right," Ryan was almost bouncing along, which was tugging her arm a little uncomfortably, but any distraction worked. "We found this massive box of magnets, and we were going along just slapping them on every one of those signal boxes you pointed out."   
"Oh, you genius!" she laughed, softly, "Shorting them out."  
"Must've gotten a good twenty of them on the way down here. This place is confusing but most of it is just - dead space." 

"Makes sense. He has places to keep his slaves but there's really not that many of them." the Doctor groaned, feeling the grip on her adjusting as her legs buckled again.  
"Whoa, hey. Doctor, you with us? Ryan, rest her down a second."  
"Yaz, we need to get out of here - whoa-!" he jolted back slightly as she heaved again, nothing but bile dripping over her lip. "Okay, that's really not good, isn't it?"  
"Thanks for that sterling description, Ryan." Yaz's voice came out with acid, but it was damped by the clear worry in her tone. "Doctor, hey. Look at me." she blinked foggily at Yaz's drifting face. "Ryan, I don't know what they've done to her, I don't think this is just the chip."

"Unless they changed it. Yaz, we can't stay here with her. I'm gonna pick her up."  
"She'd hate that -"  
"She hasn't got a choice."  
Oh, she should object, shouldn't she? Ryan was a strong young man, but she was heavy, heavier than a human - and then arms were moving around her, lifting her.   
"Okay. Fine, okay. Don't drop her!"  
"I won't!" the alarms were blaring louder, now, and she could smell the fabric of Ryan's hoodie. It was strange, being held like this, but the world really was swishing in and out ...

"Down here -"  
"Yaz, there's too many -"  
"- then we can just -"  
"- going to lose her - they done? Why is she -"  
"Hang on. Hang on. Okay."

She felt movement again, a rough wall against her back, something pressed to her lips. It was so hard to focus, her body was aching, all of her was throbbing - focusing in on her shoulder. Nausea bubbling in her chest, so hard to even see Yaz.   
"There's something really wrong. Doctor. Hey. Here." she frowned, as something was pushed on her lips. "It's a water tab, please -" it took a moment for her mind to click. When her mouth opened, her jaw ached deeply, the bones feeling like they were rattling.   
A moment later there was water on her tongue and she swallowed it down, feeling a little perk up in her chest. At least Yaz looked a touch clearer.

"W'getou'?" she mumbled, thickly.  
"Yeah. Yeah, we're out the main building." she said, softly, "We're in a tunnel, Ryan said this is near where you left Graham. What did they do to you, Doctor?"  
"Chipped. Fixed m'shoulder.." she mumbled, groaning. "Everything ... everything aches. I have ... the sonic." she nodded. There was pressure on her shoulder, and she tilted her head slowly, trying to watch as Yaz moved her clothes.  
"Sorry, Doctor, I just - need to know." she said, gently. Ryan let out a low hiss as Yaz gasped, warm fingertips probing the skin. "Oh, what have they done to you?" she murmured. "Doctor, there's - black lines in your skin." 

"Aspirin." she whispered, everything starting to click. "I'm allergic to aspirin, Yaz... acetylsalicylic acid." she stumbled her way through the word. "Must've been in the treatment they used to seal up ... the wound. I can't ... I can't think..."  
"They've poisoned you." Yaz realised. She gently rested that hand back on the Doctor's face. "Doctor. Tell me how to help. How do we help?" she asked, urgently. It was so hard to stay focused. Her eyes were drifting off, and sleep seemed so very sweet right now ...   
"Hey! Hey! This is no time to sleep, Doctor! Stay with us, please..." 

"Yaz, this isn't safe. We have to move her again." Ryan said, distantly. The world was fading into a miasma, sleep calling to her. Deeper, deeper than sleep. She sighed lowly, relaxing. Her body gave in, her mind too - which went into something deeper and deeper. Yaz clutched her hand, but it was getting colder and colder by the second.

"She can't - she can't -" tears flooded her eyes. Ryan moved over, putting his arms around her shoulders, holding Yaz again. He couldn't believe it, either. But - okay. Yaz steeled herself, taking deep breaths, rubbing at her eyes.  
"We're not giving up on this." she said, softly. "Okay, I'm - we're going to find Graham. We need ..." she crouched down and reached into the Doctor's pocket, hating the iced sensation where she brushed skin - even through the fabric of her shirts. It was so cold, now, lifeless. She exhaled slowly, drawing away and holding it tightly.

"Okay. Okay, we - we have to go." she sniffed again, then straightened her spine firmly. "Okay. Ryan, we have to find Graham. We have the sonic, so - all we have to do is - disable all the boxes, right? Wake everyone up, and then - then get them to turn on that lizard guy. Right? Then ... we'll get the TARDIS and go home."  
"What do we do with - with - with the Doctor? We can't just -"  
"Ryan, I am hanging onto my sanity by a thread right now. I have to do this, okay? When we fix it, we'll - then we'll get -" she exhaled sharply again. "We'll get her and take her back. She'll be okay here." 

Yaz hesitated, before squeezing Ryan's shoulder.  
"Okay. Let's go. You good?"   
He sniffed sharply, then nodded. Speaking, his voice croaked, but she chose not to comment.   
"Yeah. Let's go."


	9. buried alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks we had a massive power cut and I got stuck at work for over an extra hour.

  
"Graham was around here, I promise." Ryan said, keeping his voice low as they moved through the corridor, dark and dingy as the space was. Yaz looked at him, trying not to think of the Doctor's form, slumped over where they'd left her. It made her feel sick, right down to the base of her stomach, and she was having to drag herself away from it. She had to be practical. They had to finish the job, and then she would be able to get through it all, because that was what the Doctor would want. "We were just around here..." he paused, peering, hoping - "Ah! Right, just - just out here." he looked back, eyes barely visible in the gloom, but Yaz could almost feel his expression softening. "Yaz - I'm sorry -"

"Don't, Ryan. Please - not right now, okay?" she whispered, shaking her head, "I can't think about it right now because if I think about it, that makes it real, and she can't -she can't be d- dead, because she's the Doctor. She told us she - she regenerates, right? So - so she's," Yaz felt her jaw tremble as she spoke. "She's going to be fine, she probably just needs time, Ryan."   
"Do you think -"  
"She just needs time!" hysterics, no, she was fine. Her voice was going louder and she couldn't seem to keep control over it, breathing hitching in her chest. "She needs time. So we're going to go, and finish the job, and then we'll get her back to the TARDIS and she'll be - fine. Or not." she exhaled slowly, again, all about control.

"Graham. We need to get Graham, and then - then we'll be good. Do you think he'll still be there, Ryan? He might have moved."  
"Yeah, but this is granddad we're talking about. If you tell him to hunker he's not gonna go anywhere."  
"Okay, so then you've lost him."  
"Well! I mean, he might've moved - if those zombie people were about again, right?" she touched the aching spot on her neck subconsciously, trying to push away the fact she had been one of them. "So we just have to use logic. He won't go far."  
"Yeah, logic is your strong point, right?" she teased.  
"Oi! I don't deserve this, Yaz." he smiled regardless, and she smiled back, even if it felt like her chest was being ripped apart.

They kept moving, shafts of light starting to open up around them as they got clearer to the outside.  
"Seems the further we go the more derelict this place becomes." Ryan murmured, keeping his voice low. "I guess they don't really care about much when they're not around, and all the zombie people don't go out this far, do they?"  
"Ryan, shush."  
"Sorry, is it a sore subject, Yaz?"  
"No, shush!" she grabbed his arm, stilling, eyes widening. She grabbed his arm and tugged him over towards the wall. Taking in the seriousness of the situation, they both held still.

Holding her breath, Yaz waited. Everything stilled. She could hear Ryan's breathing, even though she knew he was trying to be as quiet as possible, it was still getting on her nerves. There, again - something moving, shifting. A soft clunk and then a shuffle as something moved, getting louder, echoing down the little corridor.  
"Is that them?" Ryan's voice was barely audible. Yaz listened, shutting her eyes then shaking her head.  
"Can't be." she whispered back. "They would move in lockstep. It wasn't - natural." they held still a little longer, waiting, unsure -

"Who's there? Show yourselves! I'm armed!" the voice was thin and strained but unmistakable.  
"Granddad!" Ryan moved, taking off at an awkward run, and Yaz only a step behind. A moment later there was a cry.   
"Ryan! Yaz?" footsteps met theirs and a moment later she threw herself into the very much already in progress hug. "Oh, thank God you're okay, I was worried sick - Yaz, cockle, how are you? You're okay? I thought they got you -"  
"No, no. We're - we're okay." Ryan said, stepping back a little. "Are you?"  
"Oh, I'm starvin', been eating those bloomin' protein bars this whole time." he made a face of disgust, only just looking past them. "Where's the doc?"

Something caught in her chest, a painful twist that made her feel - like something was trying to be wrenched out of her with a hook. Okay. Focus on saving everyone, then - deal with that.  
"She got hurt." she said, forced calm. "I - hurt her. When they had control of me." Yaz looked down at the floor, "And then they took her and she - she was - she was hurt."   
"Oh, Yaz, love, it's not your fault. Is she still there."  
"No, she - she passed out. We had to leave her. We have the sonic." Yaz said, voice shaking a litte more. She let Graham pull her into another tight hug. She smiled back.

"Glad you're okay, Granddad." Ryan clapped him on the shoulder, meeting his eyes as Yaz sniffed sharply, rubbing at her eyes.   
"Okay. We have - a plan. Kind of." she said, squaring her shoulders, "We're going to break back in, we're going to take out the systems. We already took out a few." she admitted. "The alarms were going when we came out. We were putting magnets on the boxes." she gave a small smile. "That seemed to be working. And then - well, alarms were going off, and we found the Doctor then got away." she exhaled slowly. "And here we are. Rescuing you." she said, faux bright. "So let's get back, we're gonna get into the main area, we're going to blow up all of those goddamned computers." she smiled, maybe too bright, too forced, but she didn't care.

"Okay, cockle." Graham said, gently. "Okay. Good a plan as any. All we have to do is get in there, right? You said alarms were going off?"  
"Yeah. Not sure why, yet, what part might have caused that." Yaz shook her head, "It might have been just an alert about - y'know, them not working - but I'm thinking, right," she said, firmly, "If we disable these things, every single person that has these things in them, they're going to be unbelievably furious." Graham nodded, squeezing her shoulder.

"Right. I Think you're most definitely right." he agreed, gently. "So you've caused some chaos, this is probably the best time to slip back in." Ryan nodded.   
"Yeah. You're right, Graham. Let's go. Let's go." she turned, squaring her shoulders. "We're going to go back, and -" she paused.  
"I know, Yaz." Ryan said, gently. He patted her shoulder. "We'll be okay. Let's get this job done, yeah?"

The journey back down the corridors was more awful than the journey there. Yaz was sure that after every corner they would see a glimmer of blonde hair, a pale body slumped against the wall. At least they looked more like they knew where they were going, but the tension was making her heart ache. And yet - more turns, more twists, and - nothing. Yaz found herself jogging, but there was no sign of the Doctor.  
"What's going on?" Graham asked, lowly, as Yaz rounded a corner, stilling. This was right, this was the way back in but -  
"She's gone."  
"What?"   
"We left the Doctor down one of these corridors." Ryan said, gently, although his hands were shaking. "She's gone."  
"What? It must be - another corridor. Or did she get up and walk away? It's the Doc, after all -"

"Granddad... she were dead. Her hearts stopped." Ryan whispered, but the words still rung in Yaz's ears.   
"But she can do that regeneration thing, right? She - she might have healed and moved." their words went too quiet for Yaz to hear, and she took the moment around the corner to wipe tears from her face. She wanted to hang onto that hope.  
"We're going to assume that's the case." she said, more firmly. "Come here. We're still moving, okay? We're still going."

"Right, yeah. Yeah, 'course." Graham said. They resumed their movement down the corridor, and when they stilled again, knowing there were only a few doors between them and the main bulk of the buildings. "Can't hear any alarms." Graham murmured.  
"No, neither can I." Yaz said, gently. She rubbed at her neck again, subconsciously.   
"So what's the plan, Yaz?" Ryan asked, and she glanced at them as they both stared expectently at her. She tugged the sonic out of her pocket, hesitating, clutching the metal handle to remind her of why she was here.

"Right. Okay. Um." she thought, quickly, "We need a diversion. We need to get to the throne room and disable it from there. What can we do?"   
Blank stares. Useful. Okay, she loved blank stares. She bit her lip.   
"What do we have? Sonic screwdriver. Protein bars, water tabs ..." she murmured. "Magnets."  
"And a big knife." Ryan added.  
"Yeah. Big knife. Okay." she moved to the door, cracking it and peering out. She couldn't see anything out there, at all... no people, no bodies, just ... 

"We need to get everyone out of the throne room." she said, softly. "So we can get in there and break it. But if any of us get captured again, I don't know how much they're going to fuck around. And I bet they know we're out already." she murmured. "Okay. Ryan. I'm going to give you the sonic. You need to go back down towards the entrance, take out as many of those boxes as you can. If you get anyone awake, get them to cause as much drama as possible, try to get them there." she told him, trying to channel the calm focus that the Doctor had when she threw out a plan. Okay, she might have been misremembering how calm the Doctor was, considering what a wild ball of energy she generated but - okay. "Graham, stay with me." she told him, softly. "We're going to wait for any sign people are leaving, and then we're going to go up to the throne room and take out the boxes."  
"How? You gave Ryan the sonic."  
"You got the water tablets?" she couldn't help a bit of a grin.  
"Yeah, but what use -" his eyes widened. "Yasmin Khan, the Doctor would be proud." he said, smiling.

"She will be. She's fine." she said, throat a little tight. "All we need to do is wait for the signal."

She settled by the door, waiting.

Waiting.

_Waiting._

"How long has it been, cockle?" Graham asked, finally, "I haven't heard anything."  
"Me neither." she murmured. "Do you think Ryan's okay? Maybe nobody's down there."

"YAZ!" panting, awkward feet slapping in the doorway, Ryan skidded into view. She threw the door open, stepping into the main building.  
"Ryan, what the hell is going on?!" she hissed, reaching out to drag him into hiding, but he shook his head.   
"No one's here." he told her, urgently, "They're all outside."   
"Outside!? Where -"  
"Come on, come on," he grabbed her hand. "They have the Doctor."

Cold flooded her. She took his hand, then paused. "Everyone?"  
"I counted at least thirty, and the big lizard guy." he told her, breathless.  
"Graham." she threw him the sonic, "Disable the throne and meet us in the corridor, okay?"   
He hesitated. "Please." she urged, and he nodded.  
"Stay safe."  
"Always."  
Then she took Ryan's hand and ran.

The grounds opened up before them. She hadn't even realised it was here; they'd spent so much time in the barren tunnels that it was a surprise. It would almost have been beautiful if it wasn't for the rough circle of mind controlled drones. She could just about see through them - and in the centre, lab coats, and ... above that. She could see the tall reptilian form, towering over anyone else. She swallowed hard, hesitating - they were out of sight now, but -   
"What are they doing?" she whispered.

"I am intending to be an honourable leader." the words boomed from the lizard person, as they turned to look at the assorted crowd. "I take care of my supporters."  
"He's sick." Yaz muttered, low and angry, "They're brainwashed, not supporters."  
"And I am going to take care of enemies, too. This woman defied me. She stood against me, and us, and everything we stand for. But now, despite the fact we are enemies, I am burying her with honour. She failed my people. She failed my world. And despite that! We give her rites, in her death, and we let her rest."  
"He's burying the Doctor." Ryan whispered. The thought occurred to Yaz at the same time, a tight coldness squeezing her chest.   
"We - we can't do anything. If we go charging in there -"  
"Yaz, if they found her and she still wasn't moving, and they think she's dead -"  
"No. No, she's not dead. She's not dead." Yaz insisted, shaking her head as tears ran down her face.

"We'll wait, okay? We'll wait, Yaz." Ryan said, softly. "They'll go back in, and it'll be okay. If Graham takes out the systems, then - then there'll be chaos and we can get her out of there, and - take her back to the TARDIS. Where she belongs."  
She let him wrap his arms around her, trying not to think about how he sounded so unsure - as if the Doctor would never wake up again.  
"Where she belongs." she croaked.


	10. "Please come back."

  
The crowd moved away, not long after. About five people stayed behind; shovels moving rhythmically, filling in the hole. Yaz sniffed, and Ryan had kept his arms around her, standing stoic and solid even if his lip was trembling. He wasn't looking forward to digging it out. When Yaz moved, he was caught offguard. Hands shifting too slowly, he reached out, snagging the back of her shirt for just a moment. It wasn't enough - she was away, running towards the grave, feet smacking into the surprising level of greenery. After how arid it had been in the rest of this place, the freshness was jarring, but she only had eyes for one thing.

"Yaz!" his voice echoed behind her, but the people there didn't look up from their task, rusty shovels still moving mechanically. She stumbled into the group, looking at the dirt piling in on top of the rough coffin. It wasn't wood. She wasn't sure what it was, but the earth had covered it entirely now. She sniffed, sharply, teetering on the edge. They were working so quickly from the large pile - must have been extricated to make the grave - and it was building so fast.  
"Whoa, why aren't they responding?" Ryan asked, uncertainly, hanging back a few feet. "Yaz, be careful, yeah?"  
"They haven't been given the instruction." she could hear the crack in her voice as she spoke, "All they'll be able to think about is the task. So ..." she stumbled something in her fingertips.

The glint of silver still filled her with comfort. She held the sonic, passing it between her hands. Ryan had given it to her when they'd been waiting, trusting her more, clearly. But her mind was wrapped in one thought. Had to stop them burying her. Had to stop -   
"Maybe I can fix this." she said, turning to look at the person nearest, pointing the sonic at the light on their neck. "It's not clued into them, so it won't - it won't hurt them, right?" she whispered.   
"Yaz, this is a real risk - we shouldn't even be out here." Ryan pointed out, "I'll go see if there's a box. There must be a box near here if they still have power, right?" he jogged away lightly, investigating the wall where they'd just been standing.

Yaz looked at them again.   
"Sorry, Doctor." she whispered, pointing at the device and squeezing the sonic's button. It whirred into life. Point and think, right? So she was thinking, disable the device but - don't hurt them. Please don't hurt them. For a breath there was nothing but the humming of the sonic, as it turned and whirred and did - whatever it did. Then there was a hiss, and a click. The shovel fell out of their hands. Yaz leant back, as slitted eyes blinked. To her eyes, they looked mostly human, but she had seen their mouth open, sharp fangs, slitted eyes, and strange ridges that detailed the top of their head. When they spoke, the voice was softer and more lyrical than she had expected.

"What's ... going on?" they asked her, looking down at the grave. Yaz gave a breathless little laugh.  
"I turned it off. I turned it off!" she whispered, rubbing tears from her eyes, "You're free. I freed you from the - the device, the control." she watched as they touched their neck, "It's still in there, I'm sorry."  
"I don't ... know how long I've even been here." the other whispered back.   
"Oh! I have to -" she began to move, buzzing the other people. She'd done three when there was a low hum and the other two blinked, shovels falling. The Doctor's grave was only half filled in. Ryan reappeared, beaming.   
"Put a magnet on a box. Did it work?" 

The crowd were touching their necks, looking lost, confused, as it all came down to them.  
"How long have I been here?" one rasped. The others were reaching out, carefully, touching necks, taking hands.   
"Hold on." Yaz said, gently, "I need to properly disable these for you, or you're going to be taken under as soon as you go near a box. I can't take them out for you." she buzzed the last two, who were more than willing. "Okay. I'm - Yaz, this is Ryan. We don't have a lot of time." she said, focusing up. "We - we need to - do something. Ryan, do you have any more magnets?"

"Yeah." he pulled out a handful, handing them over. They were decorative, that was something.   
"I'm sorry, but we need your help." she addressed the group. Maybe it was how long they'd spent under the control of the devices, maybe they were just kind people, or they wanted revenge. She didn't care - what mattered was that they were helping, and she would take that. "Those boxes, the silver ones with the lights, they power the fields. When you put a magnet on them, they stop working." she explained, handing them out, "You need to spread out, magnetize as many boxes as you can. Free your friends, but if you're in a group, act like you're still one of them. They won't know." she promised, gently, "I've been one of you, I know what it's like, okay? I know how it feels." she smiled at them, shakily. "Soon, all of the devices are going to go out. But right now, you can start this."

There were nods, pockets, and then - the first lady stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Yaz. The hug caused her to startle, but she squeezed her back. Ryan was enwrapped with another person, too, tears in their eyes.  
"Thank you. I don't know how long I've been here." they rasped. "You freed us. We'll do this. Thank you. Thank you." and then they were picking up the shovels and moving away.  
"Wait." Yaz stopped one of them, taking the shovel off her, "I need this, okay?" there was a moment and then the woman nodded, rejoining her group. Yaz smiled, shakily, before handing over the sonic to Ryan.   
"What are you doing?" he asked her, unsure.  
"I'm - gonna stay here for a bit." she whispered. "Just - y'know. Get ready to get her out, yeah? Take the sonic, disable the boxes. Graham - Graham should be out soon, right? So hopefully they'll all switch off." she sniffed sharply. 

"Alright." he said, finally, "I don't like splitting up, Yaz."  
"I'll be there soon, I promise." she told him, squeezing his arm, before hopping down into the grave. Grasping her shovel firmly, she took a deep breath, digging it in. She kept digging, throwing shovelfuls aside, until she knew Ryan was out of sight. Shaking, she let out a faint sob, the tears soaking into the dirt as she drove the tool deep. Her shoulders were shaking, and she sunk to her knees, digging her hands into the dirt, scrabbling at it.  
"Doctor, please." she rasped, curling her head down, as she sobbed openly. "Please come back. I can't lead. I can't live with - without you, I can't do this..." she gasped, desperately, clawing the mud away until her fingers scraped something differently. "Please."

Tap, tap, tap.

Her heart stilled in her chest.

Tap, tap, tap, under her fingers. Tentative, uncertain - perhaps not real. A surge of courage ran through her.   
"I knew it." she whispered. "You're alive. You're alive! I'm getting you out, Doctor, hang on. Hang on, please, hang on." she scrabbled up, grabbing her shovel. Renewed energy as she drove it deep into the dirt, throwing it aside, over the top. Her heart was pounding, and she had to be faster, had to be better, more efficient. She kept at it, freeing more and more of the coffin. There was only a thin layer, an inch or so, bits of the wood showing through. There wasn't enough space ... she didn't have the sonic -   
"Doctor!" she fell to her knees again, "I can't pry it open from the side, I have to go through the wood! Keep your legs to the left, your left, okay? I'm going through it!" she was going to do this. 

She turned around again, taking a deep breath, giving the Doctor a moment to comply - and threw all her weight into the strike. The shovel hit it hard, driving down and through. It splintered under her, towards the edge. And again, and again, she shoved it in deep. There was a crack, now, running up the inside, and when she pushed the shovel in, she twisted it. It took a moment, but she moved to the other side, levering it. There was a bolt of joy when she pressed harder, and it began to lever off. Her hands were sore from gripping, her chest and shoulders ached from the work. But there it was, a hint of the boots she was so familiar with. Eyes stinging with tears, she saw them move, undoubtedly, pressing themselves to the other side of the shovel strikes. 

It took more work than she wanted, but the gap was there. She shoved the edge of the shovel into the edge of the coffin, finding where the nails were dug in, and began to lever it out. She had the grip now, and laughed, despite herself, as she moved. It hurt, it was hard, but she was getting the Doctor out. The very alive, very real Doctor. She sniffed again, rubbing her eyes with the back of her palm, and pushed one more time, bearing her entire weight onto it. A ripple of pops, and the lid was lifting, and she heard the thud of palms on the bottom, helping the push it up and off her.

"Doctor." she laughed, falling to her side on the coffin, reaching out. "Doctor, you're alive." she whispered. "I'm so sorry I took so long." her wide smile began to fade, touching the Doctor's cheek. "Doctor. Doctor?"


	11. Hallucinations

  
Cold. She was cold. She knew what was happening, but it had been so very long since she'd fallen into a healing coma, and it was - almost unfamiliar, uncomfortable. She hadn't had a chance to explain, her head was spinning. Perhaps she would have tolerated her shoulder healing without this, but the only way to get the aspirin out of her system was giving in to it. She trusted Yaz and Ryan to take care of her. She had slipped down deep, deeper, deeper still, into a place she hated. If she was doing this right, she would be in the zero room on the TARDIS, able to rest in absolute nothingness for as long and as little as it took, keeping her as warm as she needed.

The ice crystals had begun to form on her skin, although she had no idea of it. Heart functions slowed to an undetectable level, as if she was dead; they moved so sluggishly, all of her energy driving away from her functions. Even her brains eased back, back, until it was only the barest smidge of activity, buried somewhere deep. Her body had always hated this, perhaps because of all the energy she had at a given time. Every part of her was fighting against the damage the aspirin had already started to do. Functions shut down before the aspirin could do it for them. So when the scouts found her, left propped against the wall, cold enough that touch would hurt them, every instinct said dead.

She didn't feel Saren investigating her, declaring her dead, celebrating. Being moved to the throne room by the drones, laid on a table, every angle, every minutiae of her death discussed - to no one, of course, because they were alone. The arrival of the scientists, discussion, discussion, discussion. What to do with the body of his enemy, how to deal with it, what was the best course of action. The scientists wanted to dissect her, find out how she had escaped, what had caused it. After all, the device in her neck had so clearly failed. His lead scientist led an excellent discussion on the merits of removing it, to investigate, and then making use of every part of her body. But they had decided. They were, after all, a good person, and determined to make the universe see that their anger was justified.

She didn't feel as she was packed into the coffin, taken outside. She didn't feel anything.

Deep in her mind, the Doctor was walking. Not much left. She took step after step, shivering as she walked. Surrounded by snow, in fact. There were flakes falling around her, fat and cold, not quite blizzardy - almost serene, if she only wouldn't be so very chilled. It felt like her bones were shaking, her hands almost blue. Shoving them deep into the pockets of her coat, she looked back. The misty air had eliminated any real signs of nature or formations. All that was left were the steps she'd made in the snow, the imprints of her boots being covered ever so quickly, the flakes settling, as if her existence here was a mistake to be covered up. The distance in front of her looked much the same, but the Doctor knew she had to walk, because sitting still would bury her as quickly as her footprints. Even now there were white blotches covering her coat.

The crunching underneath her boots was satisfying.   
"Always loved snow." she mused, voice damped by the flurries, "Remember playing in it. That's the best bit. Snow days! Not that we had those, at the Academy. Didn't snow much, back on Gallifrey." she informed nothing but the world around her, "Wasn't like this, either. Wasn't beautiful and white. Something to do with the chemicals in our water..." she sighed, "I remember the snow on top of the mountain. Hallucinogenic. Never liked that." she shook her head, "I remember..." she slowed a little, hearing voices. Eyes widened, and she sped up again, urgently, but - when she turned her head, they were always to the left. Settling on walking in a straight line, they came closer, still on her left, louder, and then the mist cleared. Two boys, running, laughing, kicking up grey flakes as they went. There was a rough mound nearby, about three feet tall.

"Snow TARDIS." she whispered, smiling at the pillar as she stopped moving entirely, watching. Snowballs, roughly made and flaky, thrown at one another. It didn't look anything like a TARDIS, but - they had loved it, regardless, trying so hard to scrape shapes into it.   
"Got you!" the young Doctor laughed, as he struck Koschei straight in the face. Spluttering, Koschei fell over backwards, before groaning, slumping. "Koschei?" his face fell and he ran over - only for his friend to laugh and shove a mouthful of snow right into his face. Their laughter got louder, tumbling playfully in the mess - the Doctor startled, taking a step and almost falling, seeing the way the snow had built around her legs. It was sitting heavily on her shoulders, and she shook it off, taking a few steps. But the boys had faded back into the mist. 

Gods, she was so cold. Picking up speed, she let the boys fade away, settling back onto her path.   
"We did have fun." she resumed her commentary, to the air, "There's so much history. Always had been..." she swallowed hard. "Only fight I like, snowball fight..." she smiled to herself. "Well, no. Fighting for justice, that's good, and - food fights, they can be fun..." more sounds, up ahead. She picked up her pace again, breath puffing in the air. Children laughing. Her breath caught in her chest, recognising cries she had tried so hard to bury. And there they were, in the mist, on her right, faster so the air cleared and - four of them, running in the snow, laughing and playing. The oldest was about seven, and the littlest was barely able to move in the thick warm clothes they wore. 

Only they weren't the littlest. There he was - her. Standing there, smiling indulgently at the children laughing and playing, when she was a very different man. And standing next to her - him - Patience. Oh, her wife, her first wife so very long ago. And she - her stomach rounded, probably halfway through the pregnancy. The tears on her cheeks stung as they froze, reaching out, but the illusion would only move away. The Doctor stilled, breathing in shakily. Her eldest threw a snowball, and there was more laughter, watching indulgently - only a matter of time before she was struck. Her old self, tall and pompous, looking down at the snow on his front. A moment, as the kids froze, as if terrified - and then Patience giggled, and so did the Doctor, throwing himself into the kids' fight. And there was so much laughter. Her cheeks were still stinging. For a moment, she contemplated how easy it would be to let the drift cover her, watching this joy but - it was important, to keep moving. She shook the snow out of her boots, gasping in the icy air, rubbing the tiny droplets off where they had stuck to her skin.

"Why are you showing me this?!" she shouted to the world, finding it hard to stop the tears. "What have I done, to deserve this? Yes! I know what I've lost! I'm not going to give in!" she almost ran, now, cursing her curiousity as more voices reached her. "What now?! What - what torment, huh? What - Susan." the voice had hit her like a brick, and she stumbled. Yes, Susan - Barbara, Ian, and the same version of herself, although so much older and harder than he had been back in the last memory. They were - oh. "Plain of Pamir." she rasped. "I should see her. Check on her." she shook her head, looking at the ground for a moment. It took everything not to hang on that memory, on her face, but she moved away as the playful laughter fell into the background again.

She started to jog, ignoring the ice feeling in her chest. Memories came by, and went - she saw flickers of Sarah Jane, Jamie McCrimmon, Fitz Kreiner, Bernice Summerfield, Donna, Clara, and - she had to come to a stop, gasping great breaths out, steam rising around her. The heavy snow, almost too thick to see through as she stumbled towards another memory. Rose. Rose laughing, as they walked in the streets of Cardiff. Her body with the leather jacket and the big ears. She swallowed hard, reaching out a hand, so close and so far.   
"Why?" she asked the sky again, voice shaking. "I'm not going to do this. If you want me to be buried, it won't be for them. It won't. I keep moving, for them. Okay?" 

She turned away, tramping through again. She squinted, bright flickers and gaps in the falling whiteness. When she heard more sounds up again, her throat caught, but - the forms were easier to see. It was thinning, undoubtedly now, still crunching even as she saw clearer by the moment. There she was, all young and foppish, in the town of Christmas. Helping, healing, convinced to end her life with one big great kind act. She smiled at herself, even as her throat ached, holding back more tears. She left the eleventh behind, more steps, away and away. 

The ground was warmer. The snow stopped, entirely, and she stepped off the heavily coated path onto grass. Tilting her head back, she drew in a deeper breath. "I'm coming back. I am. I -" the lights flickered, fading. She took another step, and another, even as her limbs began to feel sluggish. "End of the road, huh?" she whispered. The smell of decay and dirt was stronger, now. She glanced back as the snowy memories fell into the darkness, drifting away. She stumbled on, movement good, coming to - a wall. Her fingers probed it, chill as they were - the building of rotting wood. Or wall, or - whatever it was. It was getting darker, and darker. She breathed in the smell of dirt, and shut her eyes.

Thunk. Something above her. She opened them, slowly. There was only darkness, around her. Tight. She reached up, tapping on the wood. Was it wood? She wasn't ... sure. Everything ached. She shivered, trying to move again. She tapped. And then there was a voice above her.  
"Doctor?" The voice said. Was that her name? She was told to move, so she moved. The light stung and burnt her eyes as it was revealed, and a face she didn't recognise peered in, muddy and relieved as she breathed deeply in the air. "Doctor?"


	12. "Who are you?"

  
"Who are you?"   
"Doctor, it's me, it's Yaz. Why are you looking at me like that?" she whispered, urgently, as the Doctor looked at her - so blankly. She reached out, touching her cheek - withdrawing sharply. "Jesus, y'freezin'. Okay. We have to get you out of here. Ryan's trying to take out the boxes, we - we freed a bunch of people." she told her, as she slid an arm under the Doctor's shoulders. On the bright side she was sitting up, now, but she still looked puzzled. "I thought..." she tilted the Doctor's head, seeing no sign of damage where there had been before.

"You're not hurt any more. Is the chip gone?" she asked, uncertainly. The Doctor was definitely being docile enough as Yaz helped ease her up to her feet, wrapping an arm firmly around her shoulders. An arm under hers, and then the Doctor was getting up, and she was - she was trembling. Yaz looked into her face, the blank eyes, curdling in her chest as she resisted the urge to clutch the alien woman against her chest. 

"Okay, let's get you up. We're going to save everyone, Doctor." she pushed down the worry. The woman was alive, and she was fairly sure that she hadn't regenerated. After all, she looked the same, even if she was befuddled. When she had spoken about regeneration, and being a man previously, then surely it wasn't this same body. So she a whole new slew of things to worry about. She helped the Doctor up to her feet, even as she wobbled on her feet, and put her hands on the edge of the dugout. At least she wasn't an entire six feet down.   
"Can you get out without my help?" Yaz asked, uncertainly. The woman looked so lost.

"Okay, help me out then I'll pull you out." she said, gently, "Cup your hands, here," she demonstrated and the Doctor mimicked, "I'll use you to boost me up." it took a moment of wiggling but her foot got into the Doctor's hand, and with a slight push she clamboured up. Bracing her knees, she reached over, offering her hand, "Use the wall to help you." she encouraged, as the Doctor scrabbled. The woman was astonishingly heavy for her size, but Yaz was strong, and they managed to scrabble her out of there. Flopping onto the grass for a breath, Yaz laughed, before managing to get to her feet. She knew that there was a need to rush, really, and she should be more panicked, but seeing the Doctor moving was filling her like helium into a bottle.

"Right, Doctor?" she got up, and put her hand on the woman's shoulder. It was still ever so cold but starting to get warmer, which was good, although it left her wondering just what the hell had happened. "You can't tell me what happened, can you?" the blank stare wasn't encouraging, but she nodded, exhaling sharply. "Right. Okay. We need to get you back to the TARDIS."  
"Holy hell, Doctor?!" she turned, sharply, at the noise - there was Ryan, running awkwardly across the space towards her. Just behind him - Graham, beaming, his trousers soaking wet. 

"Ryan! Graham!" she exhaled, beaming, but the Doctor still looked just as blank as before. "Doctor's alive."  
"I can see that, cockle," Graham said, brightly, "Ryan said you'd been buried."  
"I dug her out, but something's -"   
"Thank god you're okay." Ryan hugged her, but the Doctor just held stiff.   
"Something's wrong." Yaz said, low and urgent, "She's - she isn't responding properly. She doesn't seem to know who she is."  
"Like when we first met her?"  
"I dunno." she looked back at the alien woman, swallowing hard, "We have to get her back to the TARDIS." 

"Yaz, look at her chest -"  
"Ryan, you perv!"   
"No, no, look," he gestured, and she frowned. There was something there. She reached out, hesitating a moment, before easing the collars of the Doctor's shirts aside a little. There was - a bandage. But it was clearly coming unstuck. "It must have been over her shoulder. But there were all those black lines, and they're gone."  
"Doctor, do you mind if I remove this?" Yaz asked, uncertainly. The Doctor just stared at her. Yaz frowned, but carefully slid her hands under, peeling the sticky bandages off. When she pulled them away, carefully, she revealed the skin under - pale, clear, undamaged.

"Whoa." Yaz murmured. "That's spooky. Okay. Okay, come on." she dropped the bandage into the hole, leaving it in there, "Where was the TARDIS parked?" that was aimed at the lads. "Wait - wait! You did it? You got them free?"  
Graham nodded and Ryan grinned.  
"Me an' my new mates were going on, y'know, taking out what we could with the magnets and the sonic, then they all died at once." he explained, "Y'know, all the lights went out. Everyone was suddenly awake."  
"Yeah. I was doing them, had a hard time figuring out how to make 'em pop," Graham admitted, "That asshole was just coming into the room when I got them all open, all at once." he grinned, "Water everywhere, y'know? And it went all over the thrown, crackled a bunch then went bang. That lizard guy didn't even notice at first, thought he knew everything. When they realised they were awake, they grabbed him so I high tailed it."

"Good going, Graham! We should be good to get her out of here."  
"Yeah, we can cut through the house." she reached out, and took the Doctor's hand, "It'll be nice not to have to hide the whole time." Ryan added. The Doctor had wrapped her fingers around Yaz's hand, easily, and she smiled at the blonde woman. Giving her a slight tug, she began to walk, and the Doctor fell into step very easily. That was good, at least? They set off at a sharp step, and as they headed into the main building again, there was the sound of distant smashing. As they walked through the rooms, there was broken glass and shattered pieces everywhere, boxes thrown all over the place.

"Let's go, come on, hurry up." they moved faster, through the rooms, and out the front. The change between the arid out front and the lush green garden they had just come from was jarring, but it didn't matter too much. All that mattered was finding the TARDIS, getting the hell out of there. They kept walking, on and on, the Doctor still following like a puppy. She looked so lost, and confused, and it was so - disorientating, really. Seeing that brightness ... crushed down. She accepted every instruction without comment. The group talked lowly, unsure, but - but, well. The TARDIS would fix it.

"Should be just down here..." Yaz crested the hill she remembered the TARDIS being sat at the base of, but when they peered... it was gone. There was a patch in the sand, square, and Yaz ran down to it, leaving the Doctor in the more careful hands of Ryan and Graham as she skidded to a stop.   
"Where is she?" she asked, breathlessly, turning. There were claw marks dug into the dirt, and - tracks. Like a vehicle, dug deep into the sand, from the direction of the building they'd left... going off in the other direction. "Where's the TARDIS?"  
"Someone must've taken it." Ryan said, softly, "Maybe they knew. Maybe - maybe to sell it? I dunno, Yaz -"  
"We have to find it. We can't help the Doctor like this." she swore, kicking a rock.   
"Yeah, but - those marks, Yaz." Graham was peering, the Doctor wandering absently behind him, "That can't be chance, can it, love? Gotta be that lizard bloke."

She paused, peering down, taking in a deep breath. The calmest, clearest way to express her current feeling... she glanced at the Doctor, at the marks, at the tyre tracks ...   
"For FUCK'S SAKE!"


	13. hiding injury

  
"So, what do we do?"  
"I don't know. We can't leave without the TARDIS, and we can't make the Doctor better, either." she didn't mean to snap at Ryan, not really, but the pressure was laying on her more heavily than she wanted to admit.   
"Well, we gotta follow the tracks, love, don't we? Get the TARDIS back."  
"And who's taken it? Gotta be that asshole." she murmured, frowning.  
"Those tracks are fresh though, look, they're still all like - disturbed. There's so much dust around here, it'd be well covered otherwise." Ryan pointed out, clearly taking Yaz's mood in stride. He gestured ahead of them. "So we gotta go after them and get the TARDIS back, right?"  
"With the Doctor like this?" Yaz pointed out, "Ryan, we can't fight anyone."

She turned to look at the Doctor, giving her an absent smile. It was making her heart twist, so lost and distant looking, but even meeting those hazel eyes was enough to prompt the alien to brighten. Fuck. She swallowed hard, looking at the tracks, then took a few steps back. She climbed the hill, looking in the direction of the big buildings, taking deep breaths and swallowing back the lump in her throat. She needed the air and the focus to catch herself. Whatever was going on behind them, back where lizard asshole had made their throne, she could hear the yelling even this far away. The arrival this morning had been so full of excitement, so eager to see the brilliant huge market the Doctor had been rambling about. And now she thought of the hollow woman who was staring vacantly, unaware of - well, anything. 

"Right. Come on, Yasmin Khan, you can do this." she murmured, rubbing the tears out of her eyes, and sniffing sharply. "You can do this. You can fix the doctor, and get the TARDIS back, and everything will be okay." she shook her shoulders out, squinting at the shapes. "Wait..." she took another step forward. It was far off, but the groups of people were visible even this far out - laying things down, it seemed...  
"Yaz, what's going on?" Graham called to her, "Should we - where are you goin'?"   
"Wait, Graham, stay there." she called back, "Both stay there..." she took a few more steps, frowning. What was it, what were they doing? It seemed half obvious to her, right now, she had to figure it out, what was she missing?

The people took off, scattering, running. Why - oh. Oh, no.  
"Get down!" she turned, starting to run back towards the brow of the hill and the group, "Get down, now!" she screamed, the first deep kra-kow noise reaching her ears as she sprinted. "Get down!" there was the sound of scuffling bodies, and she hoped they would have listened, to have sheltered, to drag the Doctor down - the deep BOOM behind her resonated in her very bones. It deepened, almost echoing, the ground trembling. She couldn't see it, but the smell of smoke and acrid burning - chunks of light shot past her, flaming detritus raining through the air. She dropped to the ground, tugging her leather jacket up over her head, curling into a tight ball on the floor as more and more fell around her.

Sparks singed across her skin wherever it was exposed. The echoing sounds continued, less explosive, but more of things collapsing, giving in. Building falling, what was left of it.  
"Yaz, love. Yaz?" the voice reached her, uncertain, but she peeled herself out from under her jacket. Graham was scrabbling up the edge of the hill. "You okay?"  
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." she tugged herself out of the dust, stumbling up.  
"Whoa." he was looking past her, as Ryan poked his head up, too. She was glad to see they both looked unharmed, as she turned her head back.   
"Holy shit." she whispered, eyes widening. The buildings were all - destroyed. Smoldering husks, fallen apart, billowing black clouds into the sky. "I guess they were pretty angry." she swallowed hard. "Recon that lizard asshole is still in there?"

"I dunno, love." Graham said, gently, "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah. Yeah. are you?"  
"We got under the ridge," he nodded, "I'm fine. We pulled the Doctor down with us." as he said that, a blonde head popped up, peering up at them.  
"Yaz?" her voice was quavering, uncertain. Letting out a short gasp, Yaz immediately made her way over, dropping to her knees. The steps send a shuddering pain up her back, under her jacket - maybe she'd taken a little more damage than she'd wanted to admit in the shower of debris. But it wasn't important. She crushed it all down, focusing instead on the Doctor's face.

"Yeah. I'm here. I'm here. How are you feeling?" she asked, urgently, searching her eyes for any hint of recognition.   
"Uh... okay." she gave a faint smile, "I do know you, don't I?" she asked, tilting her head. "It's ... Yaz."   
"Yeah. Yeah. That's me." she smiled, sniffing again, "You're remembering? Can you tell us what happened, Doctor?"  
She was looking blank again, mouth opening and closing a few times, uncertain.   
"I - ah, I - my brain's all ... fizzy, it's ... there's ... some things. Where are we going?"

Yaz looked back at Graham and Ryan, taking in the ashen hint to their skin and the deep worry in their features.   
"Right. We're going after the TARDIS." she said, firmly. "We're following those tracks. Come on." she hopped down the embankment, wincing as she felt the pain jarring up her back again. That was going to become a problem. Taking a careful breath, she wrapped her fingers around the Doctor's cold hand, taking them firmly. The woman squeezed back, that half vacant smile flickering back into place.

"Right. Stick together, but stay alert." Yaz said to the lads, "We're going to do this. And we're going to do it properly." she set off, following the tracks, staying to the left. Out here, the tracks continued. They were going in a near enough straight line, although the area was far less flat and clear than the area around the market. "Can anyone remember anything the Doctor told us about this place, before we came? Because - I mean, she said it was like - a desert, right?"  
"Yeah, yeah, she said it was, um, like - reformed or something?"  
"Terraformed." Graham said, "Or partially."  
"Yeah. That's right. That no one could live here." like Orphan Fifty-Five, but she didn't want to say that, didn't want to think of what had happened to her home in the far future. She knew that had hit Ryan more than any of them, after all. "But not totally destroyed, right? That's why people moved here."

"Yeah, so, if it were all like - terraformed," Yaz continued, "Then why's this bit all desert and only the bit out back was nice? Because surely that should all be fixed, if I understand what terraformin' is." well, she didn't really understand what it was, honestly, but she had managed to string most of it together. Plus she'd been reading up on a lot more of this fancy sci-fi stuff since she'd been on the TARDIS, really. Wanted to be more knowledgeable. "Because they drop, y'know, all that magic science stuff, and it all gets water and goes green and useable. So -"  
"So they did something to it." Graham continued, frowning thoughtfully now, brows furrowed, "They had to, right? Maybe they were stealin' all the water or something."  
"That lizard bloke said that he didn't make this tech, though, right? He was just using it, the - what did she call it, the council? They made it first."  
"That's proper creepy." Graham said, shaking his head, "Wonder how that past environmental health." he chuckled, nudging Ryan in the ribs.

"It would go deeper than just diverting the water. You'd need to choose to actively harm the planet." they stilled, looking across at the Doctor. Her eyes were blank, but she was murmuring, "Maybe because a terraformed planet isn't always changed for certain species. Not everyone needs all the water and greenery." and when she looked at them, the vacant smile was back. "Sorry, did you need something?"  
"What did you say?" Yaz asked, more seriously now, "Doctor, do you think that lizard guy is harming the environment on purpose? To make the place better for him?"  
"Oh, they're not a male. Their species doesn't have genders, you're just reading them as masculine." she smiled. "What are we talking about, sorry?"

"It's okay, Doctor. Don't force it." she said, gently, suddenly remembering Paldraki, mind jumping to how the Doctor had been that very first night they'd met. "Whatever they did to you, you're all better now. Just gotta wait for your head to catch up, huh?" she patted the Doctor on the shoulder as the alien smiled back and nodded automatically.   
"Don't 'spose any of you have any water capsules left?" she asked them. Ryan and Graham checked their pockets but shook their head. "Ah, well. We've held out for longer." she said, taking a deep breath. "It can't be much further." they crested another sandy ridge, squinting down into the dusty distance. 

The pain in her back had been getting steadily worse for the last - God, however long they'd been walking. It sent daggers up with every step, and there was an unpleasant heat building under it, a wetness that she really did want to ignore. Taking as steady breaths as she could, without agitating all the dust that was sticking to her tongue, Yaz focused off ahead.   
"Is that a car?" she asked, sharply, eyes widening. She swung her head, squinting. The light was starting to fail, and with the wind out here, the dust was whipping up something fierce. There was definitely a dark blob out there ... "Come on, we need any kind of shelter we can get." she took a few more steps and stumbled, gasping despite herself.

"Yaz!" she wasn't sure if it was Graham or Ryan who called out, but the arms around her were neither. Strong arms, tugging her up, wrapping around her. When she glanced sideways, she met hazel and a faint smile.  
"Gotcha." the Doctor whispered. There was so much relief, she felt like crying. Her body ached, but then the lads were there, and they were helping her move on, fast as they could. The sand cleared enough for them to see - yes, it was a vehicle. Almost like a pickup truck, with a hatched back, open and left dangling. She reached out for the door, giving it a tug - it didn't go. The Doctor dug in her pockets, frowning, but Yaz had the grip already - she buzzed the door with the sonic and it pinged open.

"Get in." she ordered, aiming it at Ryan and Graham. They shuffled over, climbing into the backseats and shutting them firmly against the dust. After a moment, she climbed into the front seat, exhaling sharply as her back ached again. "Come on." she tugged the Doctor's hand. "In you get."  
"No..." the Doctor murmured. "No, Yaz. Not when you're hurt."  
"You're hurt?" Graham leant over from the backseat as Yaz winced.  
"I got hit by - something, when the building blew." she carefully removed her jacket. The hissing from behind her wasn't encouraging. "Doctor, what -"  
"I'm going to help. Now keep still."  
"You're okay to do that?"  
"I know one thing. I never resist when someone needs help." she said, softly, before smiling, and Yaz couldn't help but smile back as the soft hands moved to her back.


	14. "I didn't mean it."

  
"Ow, ow -" she clenched her jaw, trying hard not to make too much of a noise. The wind was making awful noises outside, whistling and whirring, and the light was dropping more and more by the moment. Yaz was surprised by how much like a normal jeep the vehicle looked - a bit of fiddling and she found a light on the ceiling, switching it on. It was low, but she was kind of glad for that; too bright would be uncomfortable. The Doctor had dug a tiny torch out of her pocket, and it was now jammed between her teeth as she eased Yaz's shirt up.

"That looks proper gnarly." Ryan commented, quietly.   
"Thanks, Ryan, really helpful." she responded, scathingly. "Ow." the noise escaped, and she jumped slightly, the Doctor's fingers pressing on the raggedy edge of the damage to her back.  
"Sorry." the Doctor murmured, low and focused, "You've got a pretty bad burn here, Yaz. I dunno how you were still moving, gone through a few layers, there. Lots of blood." she grimaced. "Can't do anything for that, but I don't think you're in any real danger. Can't have this getting infected."

"Why didn't you say anything, love?" Graham asked, softly, clearly trying hard not to be accusatory. "We would've helped."  
"Graham, mate, you know as well as I do that we had to keep moving, right?"   
"Yaz has a point. Still not happy with you for keeping it from us, though." he added, and she smiled a little. The Doctor moved a little; the air whipping past was cold, too, and she was being bumped by the car door every time there was a strong gust. She seemed remarkably unbothered, though.

"How's your head, Doctor?"  
"Still foggy. Rushed the process. Easier to focus on something like this. Hold still, Yaz, this is going to sting. But it's human safe." she paused, "I think." mumbled under her breath, didn't exactly fill Yaz with faith but she trusted the Doctor, even like this. She tensed, as the ever so cold cream was smeared over the injury. Her jaw tensed.  
"I'd kill for one of those disgusting protein bars about now." Graham said, conversationally, "Even though my throat's so dry I feel like I've been eating that sand."  
"We'll have the Doctor back to full form soon," Ryan said, keeping his tone positive, "And we'll get this all fixed and get back. I think I'm gonna have to chuck these shoes out."  
"Listen to you two! You're so negative." Yaz sighed, then coughed, "Could do with a drink myself, actually." she added, before hissing. Ow.

"Doctor, can you tell me what's going on?"  
"Had to heal. Pretty urgently, really." she murmured. "It's harder to talk to you when I'm focusing on a task. Recalling information is - bit hard, right now. Brain's still recovering from the shutdown, that was a big deal, organs don't really like the whole turning it off and on again."  
"You were dead." Yaz whispered. "We left you there. You were dead. Was that - regenerating?"  
"No. This wound wasn't fatal. Could have been, but you can't regenerate with aspirin poisoning. Disables it." she said, with a faint smile, "Always keep a packet of aspirin in my bedside cabinet. So I had to do this fun little thing, called a healing coma. Pretty much what it says on the tin." she said, brightly.

She glanced across to Ryan and Graham, that little comment not having escaped her notice, but put it aside for now. If the Doctor was being over-share-y by accident, with just the influence of - this healing coma thing, then she wasn't going to push too hard.   
"Body shuts down, pretty much entirely. Every bit of energy that I can generate has to go towards healing. Side effect is it fixes up everything else that might be in the way - like the injury in my shoulder, the slice in my neck where they put the chip in. Really gotta get that out." she added. "Okay, here we go - " she pulled out some gauze, getting to work taping it over Yaz's back. "Don't scratch it or you'll ruin everything."

"So why's your head all messy?" she asked, pushing a little, whilst the Doctor cleaned her hands on a rainbow handkerchief she'd pulled from inside her coat.  
"I had to rush it a little. As much as I could. Knew I was in danger, couldn't resist it happening, had a lot of healing to do -" she knew the comment wasn't meant to be barbed, but Yaz winced regardless. "- but had to wake up real fast. Brains don't like being rebooted. Should have spent at least a few days in a zero room, rather than half frozen in a coffin." she shrugged. "Right." clapping her hands, she shut the door, walking through the sandstorm to the other side of the car.

The journey was probably less than thirty seconds. The world outside the glass was dark, lost in the swirling granules, but she could make out the shape. Her coat billowing, the blonde bob, looking for all the world like she was the normal self she had been before she was hurt. And despite that, when she got back in, Yaz's mind was still very much whirling. She cleared her throat as the door opened. The Doctor hopped in, shutting the door and fiddling with the settings on the top, banging it with her hand and sighing before undoing her shoelaces.   
"Need some heat in here. Temperature is going to drop way lower and we're going to freeze otherwise."

"Doctor."  
"Just gonna shake all this sand out of my boots." she popped said boots off, wiggling her feet in her toesie blue striped socks. Tilting them out the door, she dumped all the sand out, and then shut it firmly.  
"Doctor, I'm - I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."  
For the first time that night, the Doctor looked at her as if she was truly present. Her eyes bright and clear, no dopey smile, just genuine recognition. Her heart skipped a little, but the tight feeling scuppered any grin of her own. Guilt was flooding her. This was all her fault. For getting caught, chipped, for stabbing the Doctor, for not being good enough, quick enough. Her whole chest felt like it was wrapped in a thick leather band, stopping her from breathing properly. 

"I didn't mean it. To hurt you, I - I wasn't in control, but - it's still my fault."  
"Yaz." her voice was soft, now. "That wasn't your fault."  
"Doc's right, Yaz." Graham said, quickly. "None of us blame you for that, I promise."  
"You were under someone else's control." Ryan added.   
"No, I can't use that excuse. I can't. I hurt you. Doctor, I nearly - you could have died! You did, you did die, and you were buried, and it was my fault -" the tears were falling down her dusty cheeks, she knew that she had precious little water in her system and she needed to preserve it. The Doctor was shaking her head.

"No. Yaz. I'm not listening to this, do you understand?" she said, sharply. "Give me a half hour and I'll be all back to normal, brains'll be golden, promise. You took care of me when I were all scattered, just like the first time we met." she added.   
"Oh. Do you ... want this back?" Yaz sniffed, wiping her cheeks as she pulled out the sonic.  
"Best you hang onto it for now. Need a bit more rest." she admitted.  
"Wow. Never thought I'd see you sleep, Doc. Thought you were above that."  
"Oi, less of that!" she said, without much venom, to Graham's comment. "Just a little more recovery time. Can't exactly go out in that." she gestured at the sand that was obliterating their view. "Give the dashboard a buzz, let's get some heat."

She did as she was told and the vehicle rumbled back to life. Tucking the sonic back into her jacket, she watched as the Doctor fiddled with the settings. With a low rumble, the heaters kicked in, and the car rapidly became a much more comfortable temperature. Yaz couldn't help but watch as the Doctor tucked herself into the corner, eyes shutting as she clearly dozed off, the way the lines in her face smoothed out. She had never see the Doctor sleep before.

"Right, that's my cue." Graham settled himself back, too, and Ryan followed suite. Yaz smiled, reaching up and switching the light off, watching as the sand swirled outside but not quite able to let herself rest just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support, it means a lot!  
> I'm still trucking on steadily with the story.
> 
> Just a reminder that comments and feedback mean the absolute world to me!  
> Thank you to Anobii for your constant comments, they're brilliant <3


	15. "Run! Don't look back!"

  
The sensation of cotton wool being jammed inside her skull was fading. Being discombobulated was something she had little intention of doing, considering quite how often it seemed to actually be happening, really. And this body was better than, say, her eighth form, who always lost his memories with the slightest bump. But the cost had been worth it to keep her fam safe. Also, if she'd woken up buried alive without being in such a foggy state of mind then she would have perhaps been rather more distressed by being in such a tight container.

The wind outside was whistling. The light in the car was off, but the sight of the wind whipping up the dust was oddly beautiful. The planet was dark. They were trapped, but she wasn't alone. She wasn't alone... with the whirling particles striking the sturdy glass, the vehicle shook gently at the worst of each gust. Almost peaceful. She turned her head, looking at the others in the car, the humans. The people who trusted her. Ryan and Graham were slumped against each other, breathing softly; Yaz had curled up in the corner of her seat, too, shoulder against the window. The heating was still humming softly, pleasantly toasty, and she wasn't sure how long it was going to hold on. It could be solar... if it was fuel they had a different kind of issue...

She sighed softly, shutting her eyes again and taking a few moments. But her mind was awake again, whirring away, coming back to itself properly. She patted her pocket for the sonic - maybe she could rig it up - if she'd been in the driver's seat then she could have started driving, beefed everything up until she could see through the sandstorm, find their way back to the TARDIS. There was no doubt that the people here would be able to help themselves now, at the least, with the buildings all blown up and Saren Whiteblood's reign of terror more than destroyed. Despite herself, her fingers came up and pressed at the uncomfortable chip jammed under her skin. At least it wasn't working, she'd be able to get it out when she was back in the medical bay.

But now she was awake, trapped in the dead of night in a sandstorm, in a car, with three sleeping humans and no sonic. Okay, cool. Someone had it - Yaz. Yaz had it, last. She shifted in her seat, peering, meerkat-like, at her friend. No sign of it, so must be tucked into a pocket, and was it worth disturbing Yaz when they were all absolutely knackered? No. She just had to sit still and think. That was something she could do! Totally! Only, now that she was near enough back in her right mind, the rest of her seemed to be doing catchup. Having someone awake and on watch was most definitely a good idea, even if she couldn't see anything outside through the storm. Desert planets tended to get incredibly cold, at night, but the car at least was a sealed environment...

"Okay, Doctor," she murmured to herself, very quiet, but just loud enough for her to have a good little chat with herself. Best way to get answers, a lot of the time... "Just gotta think this plan through. Wait until light, see if the car'll start, look for the TARDIS. Sonic should locate it. Easy enough. Only gotta figure out why it were taken in the first place, especially if the tracks were fresh..." she tapped her fingertips on her legs, wiggling them, eager to stretch them out even if it wasn't a practical possibility. "So someone moved her recently." she sat up a little, squinting through the dust. It was starting to calm down, flickerings of something like light coming through. 

She wasn't wrong, either. Sitting up a little straighter, leaning forward, she put a hand on the dashboard. The sand was falling. It had settled in gentle hills on the bonnet, half hiding it, coating the windscreen wipers. They had a more shovel-like shape to them than any human car, apparently adapted to dealing with the arid environment. She could see the warm pink lights through an oxygen rich atmosphere, the sun rising, and although it was still mostly dark outside, that was most definitely what she wanted to see. It wasn't much later whe she was able to carefully crack the door. It took a fair push to get past the sand that had built up in the storm, but the doors were as modified as the windscreen wipers.

Stepping out, she took a deep breath, smiling and shutting the door. She stepped out carefully, but caught her balance easily enough even with it all slipping and sliding under her boots. Walking around the car, slowly, she took in every inch of it. A fairly standard dune hopper model; thick tyre tracks, six wheels. A pickup style back and a reinforced body, with a curved bumper and edges designed for sand. It looked new enough, still shiny, even with the layer of pale dust on it.   
"Someone definitely had a plan..." she commented to herself, touching the warm bonnet, rumbling away and keeping the insides toasty. Although that wouldn't be needed much longer, judging by the current temperature. A little on the cool side, but that wouldn't last.

She turned to squint into the sky, looking for any sign of her familiar blue box. Anything, any sign, any hint of where she had gone but she couldn't see her. Right, well... she had to do something. Dusting all the sand away, as best she could, she searched until she found a latch. Popping the lid, she peered into the engine.   
"Ooh, standard form solar engine with a nice little heat-storage battery for backup during several day long sandstorms. Nicely made, pretty expensive bit of kit." she grinned, dropping the lid again and walking around to Yaz's side of the car, yanking it open unceremoniously. Yaz half flopped out with a short yelp, dark eyes blinking into the Doctor's hazel ones.

"Mornin', sunshine."  
Yaz sat up like a lightning bolt, forcing her to dart backwards to avoid getting her noggin bashed.   
"Doctor! Y'awake!" the next moment there were arms about her, and she let a little 'oof' escape before she could help it, awkwardly wrapping an arm around Yaz's back before wiggling herself free. "How are you feeling? You seem a lot better."  
"Oh, yeah, nap sorted me right out!" she said, bouncing on her heels in the sand, "D'you still have the sonic? I had an idea."   
"Oh! Yeah." she dug in her pocket, pulling it out. "Here."  
"Great." she took it neatly, then pointed it at the dashboard, buzzing. There was a loud rumble and the car came on properly. "You can drive, can't you?" she said, brightly, dumping the sonic back onto Yaz's lap. "I'm gonna take a quick shufti around, then we can figure out where we need to go. Can't have taken her far."

"Who?"  
"The TARDIS!" she stepped back.  
"Wait, Doctor - if they dragged the TARDIS off this car, there has to be a reason, right?"  
"Okay, good point. Still. You stay here, I'll be right back." she shut the door and stepped away, mind turning to the pressing issue at hand. Bouncing away, she headed up a small ridge, squinting off. The area around here was mostly empty, but ... oh. She bounced along, not wanting to think she was seeing what she was seeing ... unmistakable, twisting sensation in her gut. Treading carefully to avoid setting off the sliding sands, she peered down into the drop, seeing her precious splash of blue right in the bottom. 

The word that escaped her had no direct translation. To a human, it would probably sound like wind chimes. It summed up her very real feelings as she kicked sand down into the hole.  
"Okay. Problem solving! I'm good at that, I can solve problems. And with the car, we'll be okay. There has to be another way down..." she turned back, heading towards the ridge. As she climbed, sand shifting, her instincts sparked. Starting to turn, a fleeting gasp behind her - something cold and uncomfortable pressed into the gap between her shoulder blades.   
A gun.  
Who puts a gun in someone's back in the middle of a desert?

"An enemy."  
"Oh, did I say that out loud? Sorry. Bad habit." she responded, lowly, raising her arms, head canting just slightly to get a look. Unmistakable, scales and sharp teeth. "Nice to see you're still alive, Saren. How'd you get this far out before we did?"  
"That's my car you're hijacking," they responded, snidely, "I realised that something was wrong when my scientists were gone when I came back. I fled. I am no fool." they added, sharply. "So what you're going to do is walk down to your friends there, and I won't shoot you... yet."  
"And what? I can't get you off planet, you dumped my ship into a pit." she snapped.   
"No, Doctor. You're going to help me get control of my people again." they chuckled, lowly. "And I may just spare your friends ... from death, at least." She swallowed hard, exhaling slowly. They crested the ridge - or rather, she did. The angle of the gun told her he was keeping out of sight.

Yaz had the car door open, peering up at her as she appeared. Her smile dropped away, picking up immediately that something was wrong. Meeting the dark intelligence of her eyes, the Doctor gave a tiny shake of her head, hoping ...   
"Down you go, Doctor." growled the voice behind her.  
"Sure, sure. One thing, first..." she responded, lowly, before taking a deep breath. "RUN!" she yelled, down the hill, "RUN, DON'T LOOK BACK! GO! DRIVE!" she screamed out, full force of her lungs into her voice. She took a step, feeling claws close around her arm, yanked violently. The ground slid and she fell down, landing heavily, hearing the gun fire and the car rev.

Jerking her head up, she fixed her eyes on the red vehicle as it turned sharply and shot away, throwing up dust as it went. The gunfire shot wide, missing, and she grinned as they made their escape.  
"Good job, mate. Well, you got me." she said, twisting around, ignoring the claws piercing her arm as she laughed. "But you ain't touching my mates."  
"No." they jerked her back up, glaring into her face. "But I'm going to make you regret ever living."


	16. broken bones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take note of the title for this one. Gonna get a little brutal.

  
The lizard hoisted her up, dragging her backwards. She stumbled, a little difficulty keeping her footing - not that she wanted to make it easy for them to be moving her all over the place, honestly. But that sense of smugness was overwhelming the fear. Her friends had gotten away, and she was more than capable of taking Saren on. 

Said asshole was dragging her back, back, towards where they'd thrown her precious TARDIS into a pit.  
"What's the plan now, yeah?" she asked, sharply. "No leverage, no power, how are you going to make me do what you want me to do?" she laughed, half-manic. Mocking, teasing, playing against them - foolish, maybe. But a wild energy had overtaken her, perhaps exhaustion, or the coma, she didn't care. She was in control here, not him. "Going to chuck me down into the pit? Won't be much use to you there." she laughed again.

"Shut up." they snarled, hand snapping to the back of her neck, grabbing her hair. They jerked her back, digging claws into her scalp, but she wouldn't give them the pleasure of getting a rise out of her. They threw her forward, the sand slipping under her boots as she landed heavily on her front. Before she could scrabble up, a heavy foot came down in the middle of her spine. Eddies of sand blew away from her lips and nostrils, trying her hardest not to breathe them in, even as she was winded.   
"Short temper much?" she rasped, tensing her back, but the foot digging into her was rather stronger than she could resist right now.

"Shut up." they snapped. "I could shoot you, Doctor. I could take my gun," they rested it on the back of her head, "And I could end this all, ever so easily. Do you understand? But I'm a person of business, I always was. This army was a way to avenge my people, to make the galaxy see how - foolish they had been, to take the other side. It was always a matter of making people pay. But you still have use to me. I need you alive, but not like this. You'd do well enough for me with a limb missing." the gun pressed to her shoulder, just under the joint, and she tensed again. "A missing arm might make you more compliant. A bit messier than killing one of your friends, of course." they sighed. She held still, waiting for the gun to move - or to make it's decision.

A hand on the back of her neck again. But - not sharp claws. Warmer. She twisted, trying to see - and white hot pain scorched from the side of her head. She screamed, not caring about the sand in her lungs, a flicker before everything was consumed by white light and she fell, limp, back down into the ground, eyes rolling shut.

\--

"What's going on!?" Ryan and Graham had been half asleep, still, when the car had started. Yaz hadn't seen much point in telling them the plan until the Doctor was back. Of course, all that had gone to hell when she had yelled for them to run. The car bumped and ran over the sand dunes, throwing them almost up into the roof. Every part of her had wanted to go back, but she had seen that hint of a gun, and if the Doctor was so desperate for her to go - she was going to go. Only ... she couldn't, could she? Breathing hard, barely able to see through the tears in her eyes, Yaz drove the car towards another high dune -

Perhaps too high. It failed to crest and instead went fully into it, with a loud bang. The wheels caught, spun - the engine failed. With a low whining, it went silent, the windscreen covered, blocking half the light. Gasping, Yaz freed the wheel. A hand squeezed her shoulder - she was still to stunned to move, but Graham's voice drifted to her.  
"We're fine, love, we're fine." he said, gently, "Why did we take off, what's going on?"  
"Where's the Doctor?" questioned Ryan, just as soft, "Is she safe?"  
"No. No. She's - she's gone. She was awake, properly, she fixed the car and we were - we were gonna go look for the TARDIS but - she came back and there was a gun in her back and she - she screamed for us to run, she -" Yaz swallowed hard, sniffing sharply, twisting to look at them properly.

"Back there. I don't - I don't know who had her, I didn't think I just did as she said." she admitted, biting her lip. "I - she's in danger. We should go back..." she fumbled for the sonic, but her trembling hands were refusing to grip.   
"Take a moment, okay? If someone has her, Yaz, there's no use us charging back in. We need to think it through." he said, gently, "And if she was being threatened, then that must mean the TARDIS was nearby, right?"  
"Yeah. Yeah. So if we - we can swing back, and get the TARDIS back.. or she'll be near there, maybe."

"That guy laid a trap." Ryan interjected.  
"They're not a guy." Yaz mumbled in response, barely thinking of the Doctor's response when she'd made the same mistake. "But you're right. They knew we'd go back. But now - there's three of us, and we have a car. If I have to run 'em down, I'm going to." she said, more firmly.  
"Doc won't like that much."  
"Doctor won't care if she's dead." Yaz snapped back, pointing the sonic at the controls and pressing it. The car rumbled back to life, sounding far less happy than it had before, and she rammed it into reverse. Whining, it slalomed, but didn't come loose from the drift. Even turning on the wipers didn't help much.

"Right, new plan. Get out, clear the car off, go back, run the lizard asshole with the car, get the Doctor back and go home."  
"Sounds like a plan to me." Ryan said, opening his door.  
"Yeah, yeah, all good, cockle." Graham mimicked on his side, getting out too, pushing the sand away. Yaz took a few deep breaths, then hopped out with rather more difficulty. The sand laid thickly, and although the wipers were chucking plenty away, she had managed to rather thoroughly bury the car.

"Tell you what, you get in and try to reverse it, Graham," she told him, moving to look in the back, hoping for spades or - literally anything that would help them get the car out. But no, there was nothing. Cursing, she went back to where Ryan was trying to dislodge the sand with scoops of his hands, focusing on digging. Yaz took a deep breath, doing her best to not let the tears fall down her face as she dug too. The work was made all the more stressful by the knowledge that the Doctor was suffering, or could be, or even dead. She just wanted to rest, properly, in safety, after all they had gone through... and then she was up for the next adventure, totally. Just - less hurting the Doctor. She would never shake the feeling of driving the weapon through her friend's shoulder.

Letting out a shuddering breath, Yaz swept more of the endlessly trickling sand to the floor, clawing with a renewed ferver. There was a shift - she stumbled back as the car revved, and wriggled backwards. A new rivulet of sand fell, and then more, as the car inched and inched and then - shot backwards. Ryan whooped - Graham cheering from his seat as he regained control.   
"Right!" he shouted out the door, "In you get, let's go rescue the doc, shall we? Again!" he added, with a laugh. Yaz dove into the passenger seat, Ryan into the back. She dusted her clothes as best she could as Graham drove, bracing herself for what was ahead of them.

"Feel free to hit that - the - lizard with the car." Yaz said, sharply, leaning forward.  
"Feel like I should be telling you to put your seatbelt on." Graham murmured. He was driving fairly quick, but Yaz scowled.  
"You need to go faster, it can handle it -"  
"I'm a bus driver, Yaz, safety is my top priority - and I ain't gonna plow us into a sand bank, am I?"  
"Yeah, and the Doctor could be dead by now!" she didn't mean to shout, but the frustrations were starting to escape. Ryan reached from the back to squeeze her shoulder but she shook him off, exhaling sharply.

"If she is, then getting there any faster won't change anything." Graham pointed out. Yaz smacked her hand down on her knee and exhaled sharply, but said nothing else. The tracks they'd left in their previous escape were already starting to be covered, but they headed back over the hillocks, slower and more carefully. Yaz stayed alert, hoping against hope that she would sight her. Somewhere. Anywhere.

"Whoa!" Graham slammed on the breaks.  
"What the hell was that?!" Ryan exclaimed, from the back. Yaz was sat bolt upright - she'd heard the thud, too. She threw the door open, barely thinking as she shot out into the open. The air was starting to get burning hot, now, and she gasped, a it hit her how desperately thirsty she was. But she had to find the Doctor, first.   
"Doctor?!" she shouted, throwing caution to the wind. "Doctor, where are you - " she cried out as something struck her in the chest, slipping over in the sand and landing on her back. 

Looking up, the halo of blonde hair caught her attention. Winded, she couldn't help but let out a cry of relief - the Doctor was there, and she looked unharmed.  
Only - armed. She was armed. The Doctor had never been armed in her life, but Yaz could see - she was carrying a sword. Of all the things, a goddamned sword. The hilt looked more ceremonial than anything else, but - the weapon looked wrong and yet completely natural. Her eyes were blank, glazed over, and she looked at them without any sign of recognition.   
"Doctor?" she whispered, "What's going on -" she managed to stand, slowly, staring the woman down, hearing sand shifting at her back as her friends approached. The Doctor took a steady step towards them.

"Doctor. Doctor? Can you hear me?"  
"Oh, no, not good, really not good," Ryan was murmuring behind her ear.  
"Get back in the car." Yaz whispered. "I don't think she's in there."  
"And what about you?"  
"Just - trust me, I can handle this." the Doctor swept the blade down, holding it evenly at her side now, still walking with apparent ease across the sand towards them. "Please, Ryan. Graham. Go back."

She moved her hand to her waist, and grasped the knife that was still there. It wasn't a sword, but it had a fair bit of length to it, and she met the Doctor's dead eyes.  
"I'm not gonna let her hurt you." she whispered. "That chip is still in her, he must've reactivated it."  
"How? We shut 'em down." Ryan whispered.  
"I told you to get back in the car!" she took her eyes off the Doctor, to look at him. The rush was the only warning she got - the rush of feet in sand. A hard shove to her chest, falling back, she gasped - Graham had moved, faster than a man his age should. And she was sure, for a split second, that the Doctor had skewered him but - no - the sword was under his arm. A rugby tackle to her chest. Her feet went down in the sand, and they crashed. 

"Graham!" scrabbling up, the world shifted to slow motion. The sword fell into the sand, but the Doctor's hands were quick. She had his arm in her grip, twisting - the cry was surprisingly muffled, leg jerking up - and the snap noise echoed in the air. Graham let out a ragged sob, twisting away - kicking at the Doctor's leg with enough force to free himself. He rolled down the hill, Ryan in pursuit, clutching his arm. There was a very eerie calm as she grasped the sword again, fluidly on her feet - Yaz jerked towards her, knife in hand. The two blades hit with a loud clang of metal, as she breathed hard, twisting her hand to try to catch the sword in the serrated edges. The Doctor was stronger, and they didn't have much of a chance, but she wasn't going to hurt her friend.

"I know you didn't mean to do that." she said, gently, whilst still hanging onto her breath. "Doctor. Come back to me. Please -" the sword twisted, catching in the ridges. The Doctor shoved forward, swinging it up hard - the knife wrenched from her hand, flung into the dunes. Yaz held her breath as the tip of it pointed into the crook of her neck, swallowing hard.  
"It's okay." she whispered, dry eyes stinging again. "I know you don't mean to, Doctor." and she shut her eyes, preparing herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all again for your support! I have the fic all mapped out now so we're trucking along!   
> Remember to drop a comment and tell me what you like, what you don't, any fun thoughts you might have about where we're headed :D


	17. field surgery

  
She was going to die. The Doctor was going to kill her, and then Ryan and Graham. She had lost her, all over again, after everything they'd been through.   
"I'll forgive you, no matter what you do, Doctor." she whispered, eyes still shut, waiting, the whole world seeming to balance on the edge of the sword that was currently pressed into her neck. Hovering, just an inch, ready to kill her. The soft swish of fabric - something moved - 

THUD.

Air displaced. Her eyes jerked open and she gasped - the Doctor was on the floor. The sword lay in the sand, pale hand scrabbling for it, but Yaz was quicker. Admittedly, that was only made possible by the fact that Ryan was fighting with her, grasping at flailing wrists as the Doctor bucked like a wild horse. And she was definitely strong - Ryan was twice her height, and far more muscular, and he was having a hard time even keeping her anything close to still. Yaz grabbed the sword, turning and throwing it in the direction they had left the car. It flew surprisingly well, but she turned around before she could see it sink into the sand like a javelin into an unwary judge.

"Yaz -" Ryan was breathless, as he struggled, shifting forward and pinning the Doctor's arms with his legs. She kicked, flailing around at him. Ryan huffed as a knee struck him in the back, grimacing, turning to look at her. His eyes were terrified, and she felt that cold sensation which had stuck to her heart refusing to come loose. "Yaz, y'gotta get it out of her! Do you still have that knife?"   
It felt like a strong breeze had rocked over her, spreading the ice into her veins, pricking her fingers even as sweat trickled down her back.   
"Ryan, you can't be serious -"  
"Do I look like I'm messin' around!?" he exclaimed, "She just broke Graham's arm! Whatever that lizard git's done to her, she's back under his control. If you don't get the chip out, she's gonna kill us all!" 

The Doctor bucked again and he almost fell back, rocking himself a little. A hand clawed at his waist - pinning her arms again under his legs, she was grabbed by the wrists, and he put his full weight into keeping her down even as she battered his back. The noise of Graham moaning nearby spurred her to move - she scrabbled over the sand until she found her knife.   
"Ryan, I could kill her." the weapon looked deadly and terrifying. It was long, too big, the tip was - so very sharp. But she moved over anyway, leaning down. "How do I do this?"

"You know where it is, right?" he pointed out. She peered at the Doctor's head - there it was, a tiny light blinking under the skin. But she was fighting so much, thrashing.  
"Yeah, I - I'm gonna -" she fell to her knees, moving closer, "We have to do this to save her. Don't we?"  
"You can do it, Yaz." he promised, "Look, granddad won't be able to do much with his arm like that and you know I couldn't. It's gotta be you."

"It's gotta be me." she rasped, fear wanted to drown her. She reached out, grabbing the only thing she could think - the Doctor's hair. She jolted her back, hard, and the Doctor stilled for a moment. She gasped, panting, eyes still glazed over, the push from the device to make her hurt them. But held still, right now - "I have to stick a knife in my friend - one handed - and cut something out of her, whilst she's fighting to kill us. Easy peasy."  
"Yaz!" Ryan objected, staring at her. 

"Yeah. Right. I can do this. Totally." she took a deep breath, edging closer. She pressed the deadly sharp tip into the soft pale skin, feeling her chest locking up as she did so. Calm, desperate focus taking over, like when she was at work. She would do this, because she had to.  
It was just immensely alarming. The Doctor seemed to have frozen, too - or maybe time was slowing down. A very slow out breath as she pressed, how terrifyingly easy it was to break the skin. Orange tinted blood flooded down, and she let the thought about asking the Doctor why it was a different colour drifted through her mind. 

It was so jarring that, sometimes, the Doctor was so incredibly alien. She seemed human before hitting them with something unnatural right out the gate. Okay. Focus. The blade shifted just a little deeper - what if she slipped, caught a vein? No, she could do this. She dug a little deeper - and felt a scrape. Metal. She tilted the blade, very carefully, using the curved tip - a little more, a little wider. There was so much blood, and now the weight of the blade was feeling worse and worse, with the tight grip she had in the Doctor's hair.

The chip was under the blade. She turned, millimetre by millimetre, hooking it a little more. The bloodstained metal was visible, and she tugged a little more. Then it slid through the skin and fell onto the Doctor's collar with a wet, unpleasant noise. Relief flooded her.   
"We have - we have to stop the bleeding, okay -" she exhaled sharply, dropping the knife with her trembling hands. It fell into the sand. The Doctor had stopped fighting, now, as Yaz released her hair. Reaching out, she picked it up - the light was blinking more urgently by the moment, now.

When she touched it, there was a sharp shock - the strange tug in her brain. She grimaced, as she stumbled up, trying not to think about the way clumps of bloody sand were sticking to her legs. It didn't matter. She would have crushed it below her heel, but instead she settled for throwing it, hard, as far as she could. It flew off out of sight, and she fell back to her side by the Doctor. Ryan had released her arms and was sitting back, panting himself, looking at the Doctor's face. She was blinking, sluggishly. Yaz scrabbled, searching for something, anything she could use to staunch the blood - it wasn't flooding, but there was still ever so much there, and it was terrifying.

"Doctor?" she asked, softly. There was a groan - behind them. Whipping around, she looked up - there was Graham. He was holding his broken arm firmly against his chest.   
"Oh, jesus, Graham -" she gasped. He was ashen, looking very distant, but at least he was moving. "We need to get you help -"  
"Wait, love, I'm okay. I mean - I'm not. Hurts like hell but not the first time I've broken a bone." he said, with a faint smile, even if all the blood had gone from his lips. "Take this -" he pressed a cloth into her hands.   
"Is this a handkerchief?"  
"Yeah. Think you need it more than me." he said, gesturing at the Doctor. She fell back down, pressing it to the wound. 

"Granddad -" Ryan got up, now that the Doctor didn't need pinning. "Gotta get you to the car, okay? You need to sit down." he tugged his jacket off, "Gotta get your arm slinged up -"  
"It'll be fine, son." Graham responded, as Ryan did his best to turn his jacket into a sling.  
"Trust me, I've had plenty of broken arms to wrap up, after falling flat on my face so many times." he chuckled. Graham was wincing as he did his best to stop Ryan from seeing just how bad a job he was doing at not jostling the bone.  
"I'll be back in a moment, Yaz, we'll get her back in the car, alright?" he said, gently. She nodded, pressing the kerchief harder against the wound.

It seemed like time was stretching away into infinity, kneeling enxt to the Doctor's bloody side in this endless desert. It could have been so beautiful. Her shoulders curled in, breathing deep and steady so she didn't throw up all over her.   
Her mind whirled as she pressed a hand to her own neck, feeling the damp smear of the Doctor's blood there. She had to get it out. Turning slightly as she heard Ryan's steps in the sand before, she looked up.

"I need it out." she whispered. "I need my chip out, Ryan, and I need you to do it."  
"Whoa, hey, I can't! I can't do that, I -"  
"No, you can, I promise. And, bonus, I'm awake, so, y'know, not gonna have to worry too hard about -"  
"I'm gonna hurt you, Yaz! It's gonna hurt like hell -"  
"I don't care, Ryan. We need it out of me. If they reactivated the Doctor, out here in the desert?" she pointed out. 

"Alright. Alright." he took a deep breath, as she handed him the knife, sitting down next to the Doctor. She tilted her head away, bringing a hand up to keep her hair out the way.   
"You can just go through the old stitches. Easy peasy." she said, shakily, as she reached down and took the Doctor's hand in her free one, giving the cold digits a squeeze and shutting her eyes tight.


	18. "I can't see."

  
The Doctor was a sobering reminder of what she was facing. Keeping her eyes fixated on her form, on the sand, she could feel as the sharp tip of the blade began to dip into her skin. Yaz considered shutting her eyes, breathing as steadily as she could, calming herself - control, calm, control, calm, think of what was the best thing to do here. Ryan's hand was shaking, which really didn't help with the whole holding a knife up against her very soft neck. And the very strong vein - or maybe it was an artery, she could never remember which side was which - that was pulsing her life blood. No biggie. Knowing that Ryan was terrified wasn't a great thing, either.

She wanted to shut her eyes, but looking at the shape of the Doctor on the floor was helpful. Because she was still conscious, still breathing, still solid - and the chip was out of her neck, which meant that things were going to get better. All they had to do now was to get the chip out of her! Which they were doing. Right now. Her friend, with shaking hands, putting a very deadly weapon into her neck. Excellent.  
"Ryan." she said, shakily, "I have complete faith in you, okay? Complete faith. Y'can do this." she forced a smile.

"Yaz, I'm scared." he responded, softly, "I really don't know -"  
"The Doctor just broke Graham's arm." she said, fiercely, clenching her hand on the Doctor's hand. "You think she's ever gonna forgive herself for that, Ryan? She'll be glad the chip is out of her. I need it out of me, now, because I can't have that happen to me. The Doctor pushed through it before, remember? If she couldn't fight it -"  
"Right! I get it, I get it. Okay. Hold still."  
"Never held stiller in m'life." she responded, with a breathless little laugh.

"Okay. Got it. I might just - ramble to myself a bit, y'know. That's what the Doctor does, right? Talks herself through stuff. So I'm gonna do that." he pushed a litte more. Yaz held tight as the blade bit into her neck, letting her eyes flicker shut for a moment. Then again, open, fixated on the Doctor's face, the rise and fall of her chest. Alive, totally alive, like her. Chip free. She could do this. The blade pushed deeper. It scraped the metal, and she had to fight back the urge to vomit at the feeling of something wiggling unpleasantly under her skin, into the muscle there. Oh, god. It was like finding there was a parasite buried in her system, but as horrible as it felt, she knew this was best.

"I think I have it. I'm gonna try to lever it out, Yaz, gonna get it out. There's so much blood." he swallowed hard.  
"Don't throw up on my open wound. Y'doin' really well, Ryan." she rasped. It stung like hell, and every part of her wanted to pull away from him, but she knew that was likely to cause more damage than she could even imagine. So she had to hold totally still. The blade moved again, and she muffled a whimper as the edge of it sliced something else. Her hand tightened - if the Doctor was human, Yaz was sure she would have bruises already, but she had seen her take so much more - as was evidenced from her bloodstained neck.

There was a sudden sharp wrench, and the weight was gone. She lifted a hand, feeling the blood trickling down her neck, but also - so much relief. Incredible relief, in fact, even if it wasn't physical - the idea that the chip was out of her neck, that was all of it.  
She swallowed hard, looking at Ryan, his trembling hands - pushing them aside, she leant in, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.   
"Thank you." she stumbled upright, grabbing the chip and throwing it in the same direction that she had thrown the other chip. 

A low moan drifted up. She paused - and then turned and looked sharply at Ryan, meeting his eyes as they widened.   
She dropped back to her knees, seeking the Doctor's hands again. There was a flicker of hazel, and she couldn't help but beam at the sight of her friend, alive, breathing - and waking up. Another low groan as she shuffled closer again, eyeing the nasty, crusty bloodstains on her side. But it was fine - it was all fine. Her vision fogged with the hot tears that were running down her face, even as she tried so hard to stop them from dripping.

"Yaz?" her voice was a low slur, but it was music. Ryan was crouching on her other side, now, smiling back to her, just as relieved, it seemed. "S'goin' on?"  
"We got the chip out of you." she said, and rasped a laugh, "Doctor, we got it out. No more being controlled."  
"You did it?" she smiled, looking just as shaky as the humans did. Her throat bobbed, hard, squeezing the Doctor's hands.  
"Yeah, we did it." she whispered, "I got it out of you. Ryan got mine out of me." she added. "We're good. We just have to get you back to the car, and then we can get the TARDIS."

"Where are we?" the Doctor whispered, still soft and shaky.   
"What? Doctor, we - we're still out in the desert." oh, no. Was the chip still working, was she still lost? Yaz tilted her head as a motion caught her eyes - the free hand was drifting down, stroking through the granules. The sun was still pounding down on their back, and she was soaked in sweat under her jacket, but the fear was making her cold again.   
God, she was tired.

"It's dark. How did you do this?" she asked, frowning, brows drawing in, "How long have I been out?"  
"Doctor, it's the middle of the day." Ryan responded, barely thinking.   
"What - no? It - it's dark."  
"Okay, Doctor, what we're gonna do - we're going to get you back to the car, okay?"  
"Oh. Oh no. I can't see. Yaz, I can't see." the Doctor's voice was escalating from her wild calm to a very much not-calm state. "I can't -" her hands were scrabbling, catching onto Yaz's jacket. "I don't -"  
"Okay. Doctor, okay. Okay. I have you. We're taking you back to the car."

Ryan leant down - they slipped an arm around the Doctor each. Yaz could feel her heartbeats thundering against her arms as she supported her friend up. It was more frightening than she'd realised, feeling how weak the Doctor was, but on the bright side, they were moving. Her legs were shaking, with each step, but - she realised Ryan was leaning forward, looking at her, eyebrows quirked.  
"Graham?" he mouthed at her. Yaz shook her head, not wanting to think about how the Doctor was going to respond when that little tidbit was exposed to her. She focused instead on keeping the Doctor's step steady over the uneven ground, sure her heart was pounding as hard as the Doctors' were against her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten days left, folks!  
> As ever thank you for your support. Hope you're enjoying the ride.


	19. Hostage Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another switcheroo - original prompt is Sleep Deprivation but I just couldn't make it work so hostage situation ahoy!

  
The door of the car was open, and Graham was sat on the seat, cradling his arm against his chest. He looked wrecked, and when the Doctor arrived, his eyes widened a little.  
"Doc?" he said, uncertainly.  
"She's back to herself." Yaz said, immediately, "But - she can't see. Something's happened." he nodded, stiffly, jaw clearly tight. She shook her head pointedly at him. Ryan moved ahead and opened the back door. "Doctor, we're at the car." she told her, softly, keeping the arm tight around her and turning the woman until she could sink onto the seat. Her free arm scrabbled around, finding the seat behind her, the side of the car as she sat back.

"How are you feeling?" Yaz asked, gently.  
"Well, I've been better." she said, with a hint of a smile, blinking in Yaz's general direction, sort of over her shoulder. She was trying, though. "M'neck'll heal up sooner than you realise. And I'm glad it's out." she whispered, touching it. The way her eyes were so blank was incredibly disorientating. Yaz wasn't sure why, but it sat heavy on her - almost worse than the moment she thought the Doctor had bee dead. Because she was alive, but she was damaged.  
"Is it my fault?" the words escaped her, voice cracking more than she wanted to admit. "That you can't see? Did I - cut something important, Doctor, or -"  
"No. No, it's not your fault." The Doctor's hand scrabbled before it caught ahold of hers. "I promise, Yaz, it's not. It's the chip. Or it was the chip." she blinked, tilting her head a little. "Y'know what I could really go for? Nice cup of tea."

"Don't remind me. Feel like I've been eating sand." Yaz said, gently.   
"Is Graham here?" the Doctor asked, after a second. "How's he - doing?"  
"Been better." she turned to look at him, grimacing. Ryan was helping as best he could, but Graham looked - bad. Really bad, actually, pale, washed out. Pasty. She wasn't sure how he was coping with a very broken arm without screaming. The quiet, actually, was more concerning than his usual complaining. But he was looking at her, blue eyes bloodshot, nostrils flaring as he breathed as carefully as he could. "Hurts like hell. You got any painkillers, doc?"

"Oh, uh - somewhere..." she began to pat at her coat, digging in deep into her pockets, even as she stared straight ahead. "So, um. When I was - under, just then, fam, gotta be honest - everything's kinda ... blurry. Are you all okay? I think I ... was fighting you -"  
"That's a terrible excuse." Graham murmured. The Doctor didn't respond, but Yaz knew if she'd heard it, then so would she. Shit. How would she even ... escape it?  
"What happened to you?" Yaz said, quickly, "I saw you stood on the ridge and you yelled at me, to go, so I drove off and - left y'behind." her chest tightened as she admitted it, swallowing hard. "Next thing I know you're throwing stuff at us."

"Ah." the Doctor grimaced. "Yeah. Not my best moment. Basic scouting etiquette - be aware of your surroundings. I just - assumed that they were caught in the explosion." she grimaced. "Had a gun in my back and weren't best pleased that I told you lot to run, actually. Dragged me off - not sure how far. Obviously I was doing my best to get information out of them. You know I'm good at it! Trying to convince them, y'know, to give the whole thing up, let me help ..."  
"You're very good at talkin' people to death." Yaz said, dryly, but glad the other woman was speaking. Her hands were still searching deep pockets.   
"Yes I am, ta very much." she grinned, "But there was this, uh, this - this spark. Could've been electro-magnetic, could've been - anything, honestly. Had my head the other way, not lookin' at 'em. But it powered back up again. The chip. Stronger than before. Maybe it was a software update."

"But that's not possible. We're too far from the boxes."  
"Ah, yeah. See, my chip was a bit different to yours." the Doctor grimaced, "After they did the surgery, I heard a bit more than I let on. More modern chip, ran off electricity generated from inside the bdoy, had a, um, entirely different processor. And my species, y'know we're pretty psychic, right?"  
"You've mentioned it." Yaz said, softly, frowning, "That's how you broke through my programming, right?"  
"Yeah! Same trick, only in reverse. But no matter how hard I could push, it - it was different. Must've updated it." she added, frowning thoughtfully. "But I think it intergrated a little more thoroughly into my neural system. Now I don't ... remember much. Hate not remembering things."

"You didn't remember who you were when I met you." Yaz said, softly, "And when you came back from the healin' coma thing."  
"Similar traumas, upset my brains." the Doctor said, lightly. "How badly did I hurt Graham?"  
Instinctively, she stopped herself from recoiling, trying to blank her features. And then she remembered that the Doctor couldn't see anything. God, she was so tired.   
"What're you -"  
"I know I hurt him." she said, voice softer now. Brows furrowing, the Doctor's eyes fell down a little. "The way you're all acting, how quiet he's being - it's bad, isn't it?"

She pulled out a packet and offered it to Yaz.   
"You broke his arm. We think." she said, finally, taking the little blister pack carefully. The Doctor's lip twitched, eyes dropping down and shutting, taking a careful breath. "It's ... it seems to be pretty clear. But we don't have any food or water."  
"Are those little green capsules, about the size of a five pence piece? Look a little like jelly, have a 'Q' on the packaging?" she asked, after a moment passed.  
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, they are." Yaz said, gently, turning them in her fingertips.  
"Give Graham one of those. They're designed to be swallowed without water." she said, softly, "Keep his arm bound tight to his chest. When we get back to the TARDIS, I'll fix it. Promise." her voice cracked. Yaz patted her leg and moved to proffer one to Graham, meeting his pale eyes.

"Hang in there." she said, gently. Ryan had climbed into the driver's seat, now, looking out dismally at the sand outside their car; he was caught, unsure what to do, and Yaz wished she had better advice. Graham carefully took and swallowed one.  
"Y'alright?" she added.   
"Tastes like mint." he said, softly, with a little smile, "Don't worry, plenty of broken bones in my life." he added, quickly, "I'll get through this just fine." he shot a glance to the Doctor in the backseat, and Yaz followed his gaze. 

The fallen features, the way her arms clasped each other, disparaged - it was heartbreaking.   
"Sit properly, let's get the door shut." she murmured, and when Graham was facing forward, she did just that. The heat was really pounding down on her, now, out in the arid landscape. They had to do something.  
"Did you see the TARDIS?" she asked, finally.  
"Yeah. Yeah, I did. It's in a big pit, not ideal. Guess Saren Whiteblood tried to get in, realised he couldn't, and chucked her down there."  
"Right, well. That's where we have to go then, right? Do you know where they've gone?"  
"No. Everything was foggy, once it started up again..."  
"Right. Ryan, in the back, I'm driving. Doctor... let's get you in there."

She helped tuck the Doctor's legs in, and shut the door, before clambouring into the passenger seat. She started the car up, glad it was still working, and set off at a careful drive.  
"Think you're gonna be able to recognise where we're goin'?" Ryan questioned, clearly unnerved by the damaged Doctor. "Don't drive us into the pit."  
"I won't." Yaz snapped, taking it careful, "Though if I see that asshole I'm hitting him with my car."  
"Yaz." the Doctor objected, lowly.   
"Sorry." she wasn't sure if it was the swearing or the threat. Okay, admittedly, proably the threat, but she put that thought aside.

She focused on driving; the powerful vehicle easily rode up the ridges in the sand, all the time on the lookout for another threat or for the deep pit the Doctor had mentioned. She wasn't sure how much time slipped by, only that she was desperately thirsty and hungry. They cleared another ridge, and she frowned, sure there was a dip nearby. Pulling the car up closer, she slowed down, thinking ... maybe that wasa drop? The lighting was different, but - it looked shallow. Maybe they were at the base of - what was that? She tilted forward, peering, something in the ground - as the car got closer, a low whining hit her ears. The Doctor's head snapped up as she slammed on the breaks, throwing sand all over the place.   
"Get out." the Doctor whispered.

"What?" Graham and Ryan in sync. The car shut down with a low whine, and in the sudden silence, the Doctor threw the door open.  
"Get out! It's a bomb! Out out out -" the doors all flew open and Yaz leapt out, running around to the Doctor's side - she was stumbling, but then her arm was around her, and they were running - she glanced back, Ryan helping Graham, and the sound was louder and familiar now. A sonic mine. "It's a trap -" the Doctor gasped, as they ran, and Yaz angled them towards the dip, slipping and stumbling. She was right - it was a crack in the ground, only a few feet deep but further in it deepened, more solid than the rest of the sand. They had just gotten past a wall as tall as she was when the deep CRA-KOOM noise went off. Her eyes caught the sight of the car, flying backwards. Sand pattered down on them, dislodged, as she doubled over, gasping for air.

Graham slumped against a wall next to her. Yaz frowned, as Ryan glanced at her, unsure what to do. He needed help hat they didn't have.  
"Where are we?" the Doctor asked. "I can see a bit of light, now. S'comin' back. Slowly."   
"Good. We're in this, um - like a crack in the ground. It gets deeper. Or we can go back the way we came."  
"Oh! Like the grand canyon?"  
"Well, I ain't been but - yeah." Yaz responded, smiling, "It looks like it widens out a fair bit but it's still narrow. Drops down kinda sharp."  
"I think this is the right place, Yaz. TARDIS should be down here." she said, "Keep going, okay? We'll be fine."

They set off, deeper. The sound of the ground tramping around them; at first it was far more solid than sand, but as the top opened out a little, there were patches around them, where it had fallen in from above. Yaz kept as steady a pace as she could, but she could see that Graham was really flagging. The Doctor tilted her head, blinking rapidly, as the remaining neurological effects of the chip were continuing to slowly wear off. Despite the fact they hadn't seen anyone for ages, Yaz couldn't shake the feeling of something being wrong. She kept glancing behind herself, convinced that someone was there. Never was. 

"Doc, I need a rest." Graham's voice sounded thready, but they held still. "Just need to sit down for a bit. Don't s'pose anyone has a water capsule? Long shot?"  
"Sorry, granddad." Ryan shook his head, "I'm the same, mate. Need a drink."  
"Sorry, fam." the Doctor said, softly. "When we get to the TARDIS, it'll be okay. Get everything fixed up."  
"Okay." Yaz helped the Doctor to sit down, Ryan and Graham doing the same, backs against the sheer walls. "I'm gonna jog ahead a bit, see if there's anything. I'll only be a couple minutes." the others nodded, and she took off. 

Nothing, just sand, no sight of blue or - anything. The crack was still running deep, opening out as they went into a deep pit. After a few minutes, she came to a stop and sighed. "Right. Shit." maybe they were wasting their time? Hard to know. She swallowed hard, rubbing her face, too parched for tears. The press of something cold and dry against her neck made her freeze.  
"My people are designed for environments like this. You should've seen my home." Saren sighed. She opened her eyes, staring back at the hand that was gripping her shoulder, "It was so beautiful. Until it was destroyed." they wrenched her arm behind her back. "It's amazing that you're so easy to catch -" she began to fight, urgently, squirming, dropping her legs. They kept ahold of her, with a sharp toothed grin. "Hostages. Nice and useful."

"We took the chip out of the Doctor." she snarled. "You're not going to get her to hurt us again."  
"Don't worry, human." they pushed her along. "We have no intention of doing that. It's all dust in the breeze." she stumbled with the hand.  
"There's four of us and one of you."  
"On the contrary, my little hostage, I am going to win this." Saren said, cockily, and she wondered if he had a crotch worth kicking. He would deserve it.

Yaz clung onto the hope that when she reached the Doctor, Ryan and Graham, that they would help. But she knew there was something wrong. And when they got there, she realised she was right. Ryan was cuffed, Graham's hands were free but he was standing still - both of them with cloth rammed in their mouth. The Doctor was totally still, breathing hard and fast in the middle of the space, hands twitching, opening and closing.   
"Someone tell me what's going on." she said, turning her head in the direction of the sound of their feet. Before Yaz could shout, a nasty piece of dusty cloth was shoved into her jaw, forcing her voice to be muffled. Didn't stop her cursing, though.

"Good to know the failsafe works." Saren drawled, and Yaz watched the way the Doctor's shoulders tensed, head whipping towards them. "Don't worry, Doctor. You fought well. Caused plenty of trouble. We have your friends, now - they're my hostages. You'll do what I say, or I'll kill them. Easy." they snorted a laugh. "I hope you're ready to pay for your crimes." 


	20. Betrayal

  
"How did you do this?" the Doctor was trying to sound like her old self. She couldn't see well, all she had was vague, shifting shadows in front of her eyes. But there was more vision than she'd had before. Edging her tone into cold, she turned to where she thought he was, her jaw tight. Squaring her shoulders, she pushed down the aches, the discomfort and thirst - if she felt this shitty, she knew her humans must be far worse. Not even considering the pain Graham must be in, with his broken arm. That she had caused. That made her chest twist, but she had to push it aside and think fast.

She could hear more movement, sounds of a struggle, muffled cursing - her fam. They'd had their mouths plugged, that was what those strange muffled noises were - she recognised that, at least. Heard it plenty enough in her lives, really. And she had been blinded before, and maybe her fam weren't able to help and she had no sonic sunglasses, but with the steadily increasing light perceptions, she would be able to figure it out, right? Saren was far more tenacious and dangerous than she had given them credit for, but she wasn't going to underestimate them, not any more. A very cold anger was curling it's way up her spine and no matter how she tried to damp the fury down, if it wanted to come out, there was no way she was going to be able to stop it.

She twisted her head sharply at the sound of movement to her left - she frowned, focusing. Couldn't become an owl, but maybe her hearing was sharpened by her lack of sight, everything on high alert. She tried to count in the amount of people she could hear moving, but there were - more.  
"How many of you are there?" she said, sharply. "Who's there?" she heard Yaz, muffled, the words lost in fabric - and a hand curled around her neck, tugging her down slightly. Despite her determination to be silent, the sensation against the ragged cut in her skin caused a slight hiss to escape her throat.

"You were so sure I was on your side, weren't you?" the voice was low, female, and - with a chill - the Doctor placed it.  
"Susan." she whispered, eyes widening even without sight, "You lied to me? I thought we had something! I thought he forced your hand. But you're just - just a liar!"   
"I'm a scientist, Doctor." she let go of her neck, and the Doctor stumbled back up, doing her best to straighten her spine. "The only thing I'm loyal to is learning, developing, creating more - science is what drives me. And you - you broke through. How fascinating. Good to see my failsafe worked, by that blank look in your eyes - if anyone breaks through the chip, you see. Makes it easier to just - scoop them back up and fix 'em up." she laughed, brightly. "Oh, I am looking forward to testing on you."

"No." Saren's voice cut clearly. "She's mine. You take the others. Keep them alive - for now." they chuckled lowly, and the Doctor tensed.  
"Don't you touch them." she growled. "You wanted me, now you have me. Let them go."  
"So they can toddle off to your ship, fly away, get reinforcements?" Saren responded. A hand tightened in her coat, giving her a sharp tug, and the Doctor realised she had no choice but to go with him - again. She twisted her head back, towards where she hoped the fam was.  
"Hang tight. I'll be back for you, I promise." she insisted, squinting and believing that she could make out their vague silhouettes in her shadowy vision. 

The sand shifted under her feet, not sure where they were being taken. Every so often, her sharp ears caught the sound of Graham moaning lowly.  
"He has a broken arm." she said, after what she guessed was a half hour of steady movement in the scorching sun. "He'll need medical attention if you want me to do anything for you. And they're human - they need food, water. If any of them die -"  
"Why would I kill my subjects?" Susan sounded almost - bored, to her ears. "Saren has given me so much more than I was ever able to do working for those boring old farts who used to run the board. The chance to develop technology ..." she trailed off, and the Doctor found herself, for a breath, almost respecting the dedication to the craft, even if she disagreed with the methodology.

"And what's your big, grand plan for me?" she said, sharply. "You're going to, what, try to make me your ambassador again? What's the punishment?" at the very least she could try and dig some information out of them, although her head was aching and she craved the cool interior of the TARDIS. This adventure had most definitely not been a success. Instead, though, they laughed, lowly. She could hear their tail scraping over the sand. The bright sky was more visible, and she could actually see the murky silhouettes as they walked, something square in front of them.   
"I thought they blew up all your big fancy house, anyway, Saren." she continued, more conversational. "No lab, no facilities, and a whole planet of very angry ex-slaves. Not a great place to be." maybe her tone was turning to cruel, to baiting, because when people were angry they made more mistakes. Perhaps it would bring more aggression down on her but in the Doctor's mind, that was worth it.

And it seemed the plan was working - to some degree. They were huffing, more frustrated, the angry whipping tail across the ground - yes, she was getting in their head. Always fun, a good way to vent the anger she was feeling towards them. And, admittedly, dangerously.   
"Of course, you have no one to blame but yourself. Why would you watch all your people suffer and then make other people suffer? Haven't learnt anything, after all."  
"You should gag her." Susan said, tone conversational, if tinged with annoyance. "Maybe permanently."  
"I have my plans." Saren responded, with a low, rumbly laugh. The shadow fell over them - a door squeaked open.  
"Oh, secret base?" she asked, blinking, eyes wide then narrowed - yes, definitely more light.

Saren didn't respond, but she felt the change between sand and hard floor. It clicked beneath her boots, and listening carefully, she heard all three sets of feet of her fam - plus two more for their enemies. Okay. All of them were here, that was good, and with the apparently blindingly bright lights above, she was picking out more and more shapes. No colour, but any kind of extra vision was good, especially when it came to avoiding running into walls. 

"Tell me when you're ready to turn her over." Susan said, "I'll get to work with these ones."  
"Don't kill them yet." Saren said, dryly, "Or permanently disable."  
"I wouldn't dream of it." Susan responded, sickly sweet, "I have no intention to get rid of them... until I have replacements."  
"They stay with me." the Doctor interjected, urgently, eyes widening, "I won't let them -"  
"Trust me." Saren grasped her arm, growling into her ear, "You're not going to want them to see what's going to happen."

The Doctor dug her heels in, but it was no good. She twisted, seeing the struggling shape of her friends. A yelp from Graham - whatever Susan was doing, it was clearly enough to hurt him - her hearts twisted, but there was a sharp tug, and she had no choice but to leave them behind. Her feet scrabbled on the floor, still, but a door shut. The smell of harsh chemicals filled her nose - bleaches, and worse things, harsh enough to make her cough.  
"What have you been covering up in here?" she growled out. "I promise, if my friends are hurt, you will regret -"

"Oh, shut up." Saren snapped. A sharp shove in her shoulder - she stumbled, slipping and landing heavily in a hard metal chair. Before she could sit up, hands grasped hers, straps, moving fast, tugging sharply - a tail grasped her other arm, preventing her from getting up, then her ankles, and she was held fast to the chair, blinking foggily at the shape of the lizard moving arund the room.  
"I'm excellent conversation, thank you very much -"  
"Shut up, or I'll cut your tongue out now, instead of later." Saren growled, and for once in her life, the Doctor shut her mouth.


	21. Torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oky heads up! This chapter is near enough entirely just brutal torture. It's not a good time. If you want, you can skip today; it's not going to be super relevant to the plot, except for lots of pain and suffering.

  
"So what's the end game, here, Saren? Gotta admit, it's all looking a bit blurry to me, right now." the Doctor pushed through, forcing herself to sound calm, almost like she was just joking. Banter, with her friend, not someone who was very much threatening her right now. Or, well, less threatening. Their form moved semi-sinuously in front of her, with her badly obscured vision, but seeing - more than she had. And it was really ever so important right now that she was able to see, because the silence that was his response was starting to send fear into her hearts.

"I mean, you have me here. I'm at your mercy. You have your scientist. Going to chip me again? It didn't work great for you the first time, did it? I can't see you particularly well right now, mate, gotta give me something to go on, yeah?" she fidgeted as best as she was able, tightening her hands into fists, pushing on the bands around her arms - trying to get some idea of how she was going to break free. "I'm rambling because the fam aren't here and I'm worried about what's going on with them. But I'm not worried about you, because you can't hurt me, not really." she tilted her head ever so slightly, wondering if she was actually starting to pick up the hints of red in their scales. Maybe. If she was lucky.

Something resonated. Metal slid against metal with a tremor in the air, and her breath caught somewhere deep, stilling entirely. She knew that sound, even if she wished she very much didn't. Not the first time she'd had a knife pulled on her, wouldn't be the last, but - she exhaled slow and carefully. Wanting to have control and not being terrified of the very much clear and real danger. It was only pain. She'd dealt with pain so many timse. Pain was nothing. And she would always regenerate, if it became too much, right? Just had to focus on getting the fam out. They were stepping closer, shadow enlarging, and she could definitely see the light glinting - whether it was their teeth or the blade, she wasn't sure.

Calm the thunder of her hearts. That was the last thing she needed, really - too much pulse would mean the blood would escape her faster. She tensed, trying to lock down her body as she felt them moving closer. Her senses were electrified, picking up any changes in shadow, but her lack of complete knowledge - that was worse. Expecting the touch, the pain, but not knowing where it would land - she flinched at the faintest brush, even her clothes feeling like they were folding wrong, pressing places they had never touched before. There was a low laugh, just in front of her face, before claws closed around her jaw. Wrenching her head back, the Doctor's nostrils worked as she put all of her focus into not showing just how terrified she was.

The blade was blindingly cold as it pressed against her neck. She almost hoped they would make it quick, but no - it drifted up, not biting, not yet. It was cold, sharp, but her skin was undamaged as it crawled to the crook of her jaw.  
"I could ruin your face." they mused. "Teach the Doctor a lesson. But you're going to die when I've had my fun, so I hardly see the point... I want you to hurt." her throat bobbed, but before she could summon up a witty comment, they jerked away from her - and the blade bit. It slid in by her collarbones. Hands clenching in nothing, focusing on just breathing through it, the blade drew a slow line across her skin, what was visible under the line of her shirt. It felt almost like heat, as it continued inevitably, finally stopping when it hit the fabric on the other side. A slow trickle of blood began to run as Saren chuckled - something sharp drove in, and she couldn't fight back the whimper as his claws pulled at the torn skin.

"Why don't you kill me and have done with it?" she growled at them.  
"Oh, no, Doctor." Saren chuckled, "You have to pay the price, do't you understand? This is for my family, my people. All of those who suffered. You could have helped. And now? Now you've taken my revenge. You were never a hero. You were always a lie." she whimpered again as their claws drove deeper, before they pulled away, the knife apparently back on their focus. For a breath, there was nothing - the slap winded her. The wetness on her cheek could have been new lines scored by their claws, or just a smear from what he had clawed out of her chest.

"I could break your bones. I could crack your fingers, one by one," Saren whispered, claws ghosting over her arms, and she clenched her jaw. "Break your arms and your legs, like you did to your friend, hm?" they laughed, and that cold feeling returned, clenching her hands into fists. She had to get out of here, but doing that with them hovering over her would be impossible. The hand moved to grab her leg, and the soft thud of knees hitting the ground - she had to see. Starting to carefully twist, she tried to work her hands free, not showing the movement - wanting to make sure they didn't spot it. And a distraction, as the claws slid up her calf, pushing up her already short trousers. Shit, shit, shit. It pushed past her knee and stopped, before doing the other.

"I could cripple you." they murmured. "It's not like you're going anywhere, but I love the image. The idea of you, Doctor," they chuckled, "Trying to flee me ... but these legs of yours failing." the tip of the blade pressed against her skin again. "So many clever comments, and yet your mouth is silent now, Doctor. Scared for your tongue?" they laughed, brutally, and drove the blade. She jumped sharply, a hiss escaping between her teeth, a faint flash of colour in her eyes. Just below her kneecap, it dug deep, turning, moving - pulling. Her legs trembled as the blood began to trickle down them, a cold wave rolling up her shoulders. Focus on wiggling, on getting loose, not on the blade working steadily deeper -

Her leg jolted violently, no matter how much she was trying to hang onto her composure. Her arm twisted again inside the cuffs, everything she was doing to try to stop herself from showing her pain rather falling apart. The blade was moving faster, now, and she had to breathe through it, feeling as the hot slick consumed her limb. It was driving deep and she was shaking, despite herself, hoping against hope that they would stop, that this would end - soon, somehow. It was just pain, it was just suffering, she could handle it, she had done worse and she would do worse - it hurt. It hurt so badly, and in the fogginess, she was starting to make out more and more shapes, eyes coming in sharper.

"I'm going to get out of here." the Doctor whispered, even with the strain in her voice, she could feel that ghostly coldness. "I'm going to make sure you never hurt anyone again, do you hear me?" she snapped out, viciously. There was laughter again, but she could see them clearer and clearer by the moment. Her hands twisted again, focusing on that rather than the pain and the steadily increasing bloodloss. If she could manage just fine with a pole through her shoulder, she could tolerate an overzealous wannabe-dictator with a knife. They were probing deeper into her leg, her muscles screaming in pain, but - they drew back. She could see the light on their scaled head, now, as they swapped to the other side.

"I could slide right in. You have such soft skin." they chuckled, lowly, "I could cut the ligament and you would never walk again. Maybe I could sever the tendon, here," their claws dug into her ankle, "Watch you limp around the room until you bleed out. Give you false hope." they stabbed the blade into the meat of her calf and she jumped, slightly, another unintentional whimper escaping her lips. The pain was becoming a miasma, so many spots of her aching and throbbing that it was hard to focus on just one.

They got to their feet again, grasping her jaw in bloodied fingertips and tilting it back so she was facing them, the shape of their features almost entirely clear. The details were still eluding her, but colours were returning, definitely.   
The blow caught her offguard - a hard punch that threw her face violently to the side, an aching patch on her cheek.   
"No clever words left, Doctor?" they growled, jerking her front and centre again. "Nothing to say, hm? You're going to defeat me?" they laughed in her face, the glinting of sharp teeth and a maniacal glimmer. They raked their claws up slowly over her neck to her chin, not quite digging deep enough to rip her open but enough to leave awful marks, striping her like - like a humbug.

Maybe this would be it. She would die here, and regenerate, and they would realise just what they had in their grasp. She thought of the fam, twisting her wrist, feeling the bindings finally, finally starting to give.   
A deep crack in the background - close, in the same building. Something foundational, by the weight of it. Saren straightened, drawing back from her, head turning. Another one, then a third -   
"What on earth?" they growled out, taking a step - 

The boom sent her own ears ringing. Gasping, the right twist - and her hands were free. The Doctor twisted in her chair, coughing, dust filling the space, and the smell of smoke. Saren took off, their feet loud on the floor, and for a breath, she was alone.   
The next boom knocked her off the chair and onto the floor, a ragged scream escaping her throat as she grabbed the blade and ripped it out of her leg, throwing it across the room. The crackle of flames and the smell of smoke - The fam. Oh no. 

Oh no.


	22. Burned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this coming up late I just had a tooth extraction and my body has decided this means I'm allowed to sleep and Nothing Else.

  
Watching the blinded Doctor get dragged away was a new kind of hell. She was so tired, thirsty, she wanted nothing but a nice long shower and to curl up in bed. But she wasn't sure what they were all facing, and with them being split up again, she was going to step up as a leader. After all, it was what the Doctor would want. Glancing at her friends, Graham's ashen face, she wasn't sure how they were going to get through this. The Doctor needed them. And damn if she wasn't going to back down from a challenge, not even one of this magnitude. 

They walked deeper into the building, watching the scientist as she led them, wondering if they could get out of here. The cuffs were digging into her hands and the nasty piece of fabric in her mouth tasted foul, but she was doing her best not to think of where it had been before it was jammed between her teeth. Instead, she turned her head, taking in everything she could see, trying to make a mental map of the corridors. The place was surprisingly clean, lights so bright they almost hurt her eyes. If she was the Doctor, she could be questioning it all, trying to figure out what the point was, why the place was so - well made. That didn't make sense. Maybe not completely newly built, but it was spotless.

Through another door. And another. Confusing, twisting - how big was this place? It hadn't looked all that large from the outside. Although she hadn't seen much of it on the approach, mostly a big, blank front, blending in fairly well with the sand around it. Maybe it went underground, but it was pleasantly cool compared to the outside. The tusked woman tapped in a code, and a door slid open in front of them. This room was more what Yaz thought of if people talked about a laboratory; beakers standing around, Bunsen burners and jars full of chemicals and fluids, although no experiments appeared to be running right now. One entire shelf was taken up with parts of the chips, and these looked far more complex than what she had seen before... 

She glanced across at Ryan and Graham. Ryan was making little secret of his anxiety; he met her eyes, own wide, arms held awkwardly as he managed with the cuffs. But Graham's expression was filling her with more worry by the moment. He needed more help than they could give, and the thought of losing him was a horrifying one. They went through another door, at the far end of the lab. It looked like - oh, like an office. Surprisingly normal, with a couch in the corner, a desk, something like a laptop. So ... ordinary, that it made her guts twist all over again, because that shouldn't be so dull! There should be torture items on the wall, knives and weapons, not ... this. She hesitated, but Susan shut the door firmly. 

"Sit." she ordered. "I need to tend to your friend." she sat awkwardly in the office chair. Graham and Ryan sunk onto the sofa, as Susan moved over. "Your arm. Show me." Graham held it out, grimacing, but she was shockingly gentle as she investigated it, even though he was clearly trying to tough it out. "Hm. Clean break. Wait." getting up, she left the room, shutting the door firmly. Immediately, Yaz was up, pacing the space, investigating. No windows; no grates. Something like an air con unit was running in one corner, humming softly, but she couldn't see anything on there that would be nearly big enough for them to get out of. They were stuck. 

She couldn't even spit the nasty fabric out of her mouth. After a moment, she slumped back into the seat, eyeing the laptop. When Susan returned, she was carrying a box, dumping it on the desk. She grabbed Yaz's head, tugging the fabric out.  
"Let us go." Yaz said, immediately, "Let us go right now. Or the Doctor -"  
"Oh, shut up." she snapped back. "Here." a hand shoved into her mouth, too quick to respond, and she pressed something onto Yaz's tongue. Before she could spit it out, it split - and she was forced to swallow. Water. A water tablet. Oh.

"Why are you helping us?" Yaz asked, uncertainly, as she went to the men, giving them a tablet, too. Ryan looked as suspicious as she had, but they were desperate enough to take them. And, honestly, she felt like crying in relief at the sandy taste being gone from her mouth.  
"You must be stupid." Susan said, shortly, scowling, going back to take the box over to Graham's side. His arms weren't cuffed, but it wasn't like he was going to be able to do much. Susan helped move his jacket, ignoring his low sounds of pain, freeing it - the nasty, wonky look on his arm made Yaz feel sick, but she refused to look away. Just in case.

"Before Saren got me working on the chips, I was experimenting with healing technology. Neuropathy stuff, but they limited how much I could study. They called a lot of what I wanted to do unethical - using bodies." she tutted. "So much limitation. But I have a few tricks." she took what looked almost like an arm brace out of the box, but it was covered in circuitry. Carefully, she began to strap it around Graham's arm, carefully lining it up.  
"You were like, what, a science Doctor?" Yaz asked, slowly.  
"Something like that. Didn't study humans much." she added, "But your physiology is remarkably simple. Well sought out as test subjects." she grinned, mouth distorted around those dangerous looking tusks.

"Ow." Graham said, lowly. "What are you doing to me, then, love?" his tone was very clearly not feeling the pet name, but habit made him use it anyway. His voice was shaky, and Yaz's heart constricted slightly. But at least Susan had freed his mouth. If they could talk, they could escape, hopefully.  
"This is a device I was working on. Accelerates healing." she said, lowly, "I never got to test it properly." she finished doing it up, the last part a half-glove that wrapped Graham's hand. It hummed to life, a few lights beeping along the back, and he tensed.   
"Is it meant to get - warm?"  
"That'll be the micro-agents, stimulating your body." she said, brightly, and handed him something else from the box - a protein bar. 

"Don't 'spose you got something like a cheese sandwich? Or a fryup?" Joking. That was good. Although when it came to food, maybe he wasn't joking. Yaz smiled ever so slightly, rolling her eyes, and that cold feeling at least began to ease back a little. She might be a mad scientist, clearly, but - there was maybe something there, something she could break through to. Hopefully.   
"Shut up before I gag you again." okay, maybe not. She watched; Susan handed a protein bar to Ryan, too. It would be awkward, with the cuffs, but doable. Graham was the one in the best standing, and he still didn't look well.

"Stay here." she said, finally, straightening, clearly pleased with the way the device was strapped to his arm. "I have work to do. Rest, if you must. I will return shortly. I have many things to test on you, now I finally have some subjects." she clapped her hands, turning and leaving, shutting the door firmly. Yaz heard a key turn in the door, with a click. She waited for a moment before turning to the others, getting up and moving over, sitting on the floor by their legs and looking at the blinking device on Graham's arm.  
"How d'you feel?" she whispered.  
"Knackered." Graham responded. "Arm's doing me in, but - it feels better than it did before." he admitted, "Really warm, though. Hope this doohickey works."  
"Why would she help us, though?" Ryan murmured. "Maybe she's nicer than we thought?"  
"I don't trust her." Yaz whispered back, immediately, "We're not people to her, we're lab rats, right? That's the only reason she's taking care of us." she peered at the box on the floor with a frown. It contained a handful more protein bars. Well, that was something, at least.

"We need to get out of here," Yaz said, lowly, helping herself to a bar. They seemed sealed, and whilst it was tricky with tied hands, she managed to do it, bending weirdly to take tiny bites. The relief was palpable, at the food and water. "Gotta get the Doctor and get out of here before that bastard kills her." the others nodded. Ryan looked as knackered as she felt, but she knew this wasn't over yet.   
"If she used to do good things, maybe she can help us." Graham suggested. "Y'know, she helped get me healed... she could easily have not done that."  
"I dunno if appealing to her better nature is the right plan."  
"It's what the Doctor would do." Ryan said, softly, and that gave Yaz pause. That was what the Doctor would do. Hm. 

Silence fell, except for them eating the bras. There were a few more water tabs, and Yaz took enough, relaxing as she swallowed back the water. That felt so much better, tucking her back against the base of the sofa by Graham's legs. Just had to think, think, think. There was nothing in the room they could use.   
"There's a whole lab out there." she said, finally. "I bet we could do something if we could get ahold of some of that."  
"I failed chemistry at school, I don't think I'd be much cop, love."  
"I only just passed it, got a C, and that were way back, I don't think I could do much with that." Ryan added.  
"When did you two get so pessimistic?" Yaz nudged Graham's leg with her elbow. "We can do this, alright? Just - turn up the gas and throw a bunch of chemicals, bet we could do something."   
"Or burn our own face off." Ryan said, shaking his head. The faint sound of a scream made them still, and Yaz swallowed hard.  
"That sounded like -"  
"That was the doc, yeah." Graham added. "Yaz, love, think you're right. But the door's locked."

"Okay. So we need to get out of here." she frowned, thoughtfully. "I have an idea, okay? You two stay here." she got up, moving over and tapping on the door. No response. "Susan?" she called out. "I'm really sorry, I gotta go to the bathroom." she tapped again. "Really don't want to have to do that in the same room as the lads!"  
There was a pause, and then movement on the other side. The door opened a crack, and then Susan opened it wider. Yaz play-acted for her life. "Sorry, think it's because I didn't have anything for ages then had a lot." she admitted, biting her lip.

Susan glanced into the room; Ryan and Graham had the point of mind to pretend to have dozed off, slumped on the sofa. They looked so exhausted, she wouldn't be surprised if they really had gone down. She shrugged awkwardly.   
"Alright, fine. Come on, then." she threw the door open and Yaz wiggled out, hopping slightly. The woman shut it behind them. There were pieces of tech, having been moved all over the place. Something was gently bubbling in a beaker, and the goggles the woman wore weren't missed by Yaz, but still. Out of the lab, and then across to - well, a bathroom. It looked ... remarkably normal. No window. Yaz shut the door carefully, taking a moment to actually use the facilities, and made a point of washing her hands and splashing some of the dust off her face, thinking quickly. When she opened the door again, Susan was leaning against the wall just outside.

"Thanks. It's been a while." Yaz admitted. Susan just grunted, but that was something.   
"Why'd you take so long?" she snapped.  
"I don't know if you've ever tried to wipe your bum with cuffed hands." she held them up. "Kinda a nightmare. Look, I know - I know I'm your test subject. But if I'm gonna be stuck here - I always loved science. I were well good at it in school, and hanging out with the Doctor, she's been teaching me loads. Maybe you can teach me, too? I mean - I'll do whatever you say. And this whole thing is super cool." they were back in the lab now. "I don't - y'know, I didn't like having that chip in, but that whole thing - it's genius. Totally genius." she remembered how the Doctor responded to praise, hoping - the tusks made it a little harder to read her face, but maybe - 

"Well... hm. A lab assistant would be useful." Susan said, lowly, "And being a subject yourself, I'm sure you'd be willing to be tested on - to learn."  
"Yeah, of course! I mean, it's a bit scary sometimes but - gotta take a risk. Right?" Yaz suggested, grinning, trying to match the kind of bouncy energy the Doctor had when she was studying science things ...   
"Alright. I'll give you a chance." she shut the door - not locking it, Yaz noticed. "I'm going to leave your little friends locked up, though. Call it collateral." she pulled a key from her belt, unlocking Yaz's cuffs. She stretched her hands out, rubbing her wrists, grateful.

"Thanks, Susan. This is so cool. What are you working on?" she asked, peering at the beaker, "I'm from a different planet, I might not know all your like - chemical names - but I wanna learn!"  
"Oh, that? A special mix I'm making. Hard to get the balance right, actually." she adjusted the heat under it, just a little, "When it works it creates a special - a jelly, near enough. It contains a nutrient blend that enables tech to intergrate with biology. We were using it on the chips. The better it works, the more natural the connection and the least damage to the subject." she nodded. Yaz, despite herself, was actually a little impressed. It all sounded beyond genius. Just a shame she was going to blow it all up.

"Wow, what's - what's this?" she wandered over to some of the unboxed tech, peering, twisting her head this way and that, but very careful not to touch. She didn't want to get chipped again, after all. It was the size of a CD, a sort of - flattened sphere.   
"Ah! That got me my doctorate." Susan said. It did look a little dusty. "I was thinking of refining it. My original intention was to use it for solar flare travel, but it ended up taking on a life of its own." she beamed. "It is, for all intents and purposes - a shrinking device. It reduces the mass of an object temporarily, whilst putting it into quantum flux - which allows it to be two things at once."   
"Whoa." Yaz's eyes widened. "That's - don't you have to break the laws of physics to do that?"  
"Not necessarily. It is, however, slightly unstable. It works on living things, but it tends to - show them other dimensions. And it can cause damage. When it came to travelling in flares, the extra radiation made it destabilize. But if you're going to move a large amount of items at once and don't mind having a few of them run the risk of - getting merged with other things -" turning it, she pointed the lens end at a beaker on the table. Pressing a button on the top, sliding something on the side with her thumb - it shrunk down to half the size. To Yaz's eyes, it looked almost like it was fizzing.

"Wow." Yaz breathed. "How do you turn it back?"  
"You wait." Susan said, with a shrug, putting it back down again. "I never got the balance of that, before. I'd done enough, after all. It either destabilizes on it's own or takes about an hour. Part of the problem."  
"I've seen a shrinking device before." Yaz said, softly, "But it only worked on living things."  
"You have?" Susan turned, sharply, "Was it reversible?"  
"I don't think so. And, um - it killed people. Crushed them into - tiny little people models. Much smaller scale than this." she added.  
"Hm." Susan frowned, "My intention was to have them re-enlarge at a later date, once you arrive. Most of this was brought here using the device." she gestured at the lab.

"That explains this." Yaz said, pointing at an item on the side. Once it had clearly been some sort of speaker; it was like a chunk of it had been replaced with a metal shard, mixed with pieces of glass.   
"Yes. Took out my best slide collection, too." Susan sighed, shaking her head. She turned away, back to her beaker... after a moment, Yaz slipped the shrinking device into her pocket, hoping the woman wouldn't notice.

All she had to do was wait.  
It was almost embarrassingly easy.  
Susan went to the bathroom; leaving Yaz in the room, where she'd been put to work carefully applying some of the new-made jelly between a disabled chip and a piece of some kind of - once-living thing. Yaz had been trying not to think of it too closely. And when she was gone, she was up - the key was still in the door. And when she threw it open, Graham and Ryan looked up.  
"Let's go. Quick, I don't know how long we have." 

Ryan was still cuffed, but they moved fast; out of the room, Ryan turning on the gas on all the pipes.   
"Out of here, turn right and run," Yaz said, quickly, grabbing a jar full of some strange white powder that she'd seen Susan use to light something. She held still, as long as she felt was safe, then threw it - and turned to run. Taking off down the corridor, the first bang caught her offguard. Then another, and another - maybe it wasn't exploding. Or maybe she'd had the wrong jar, or - there was no sign of Graham or Ryan.

She had turned back when the explosion went off for real. She saw the blur of scales - and the rush of flames, making her fall back. She landed in a little ball on the floor, breathing shakily. The sound of crackling settled. Opening her eyes she stumbled up, stunned, confused, but - oh. There was - she moved forward, cautiously. The heat was intense, and the smell of smoke mixed with a smell almost like - roasting meat. The shape on the floor, all sinuous limbs, scales and tail - she could see the damage already. Patches of damaged skin. Stumbling for the device in her pocket, she pointed it at Saren. There was a hum, and they shrunk down, still unconscious. Grabbing them in a hand - so strange, they were still fairly heavy but - she felt the tiny heartbeat thundering. 

Barely thinking about what she was doing, carrying the unconscious, shrunken Gnorrian, Yaz took off at a run down the corridor, coughing through the smoke, hoping to hell the Doctor was okay.


	23. "Don't look."

  
The crashing seemed to have stopped. The smell of smoke was overwhelming, clouds of acrid black filling the air, which really didn't help with her vision. But most of it was clear, now. Details evading her, she scrabbled at her ankle cuffs until they finally came free, kicking the chair away. Her body was screaming, but she didn't make a sound. Her breathing was stuttering, half-gasps, keeping everything careful to avoid flooding herself with toxic smog. But she wouldn't give them the pleasure of knowing what she was going through - if they were even in the room. The blood slicked her clothes, her palm, her legs - it didn't matter. Her badly sliced legs didn't want to take her weight, but damn if she was going to let that stop her. She was getting her fam, and she was getting out of here.

Stumbling into a wall, the Doctor began to feel her way along it, half-blinded by the stinging air. Not great. Really not great. She had people relying on her. Glancing down, taking in the state of her bloodstained chest, a wave of guilt and shame rushed over her. She was meant to be the rock, but she could barely stand, barely breathe, consumed - no. Focus. She was going to focus. Saren was gone, which meant she had a chance to get away. Using her bloodstained shirt as some kind of filter, pulling it up over her nose - trying to ignore the copper-rust smell that filled her nose when she did so.

Shame wouldn't help her right now. She could see well enough, al that mattered was moving. SO move, she was going to do. Forcing her fighting limbs to shift, the Doctor headed towards the door, through the stench of chemicals burning. There were deep, creaking noises coming from the very structure of the building, a sign that things might be about to get far worse than they already were. Every part of her ached. She wasn't going to go into a coma, not right now, and she wasn't even sure her body could withstand it again so close to the other one; but the blood loss was a serious issue. If it got much worse, regeneration was very much on the table, and she would be damned if she was going to leave her fam here.

The corridor was creaking, but it was empty, for now. She kept walking, one hand on the wall, aware of the blood she was leaving behind. But she would leave a trail no matter what she did. Her jaw ached from the punches, let alone all the cuts that littered her frame. It didn't matter. She was alive. Trying to remember where they'd come from, down the corridor, squinting through the smoke. Stronger down this passageway - part of her wanted to call out, to see if the fam were there. But the risk of Saren or Susan hearing her meant she had to keep quiet. Even if the building was falling to pieces around her.

Footsteps caught her ear. Flattening herself against the wall, she peered for anywhere to hide, but she was stuck. If she was lucky, they would -   
"Yaz!" she gasped. The woman had appeared at the end of the tunnel, her head snapping around, smile spreading her lips - joy bubbled in the Doctor's chest as she stumbled towards her friend. And then she caught the signs - the face falling, the twisting expression. The Doctor swallowed hard, not wanting her pity. "Don't - look. Please, don't look, not at me, not right now." she whispered, reaching her friend's side. "The rest of you, are you safe?" she grabbed at Yaz's shoulder, squeezing, the relief flooding her hearts incomparable.

"I sent them ahead." she said, softly, "With any luck they're outside. I blew up the lab, that - woman's lab. I blew it up." she laughed, and the tremor in her tone was absolutely clear, so the Doctor let go of her shoulder. "We need to leave. What did he do -?"  
"I told you not to look. Come on, focus." freedom was within their grasp, injuries notwithstanding. "We gotta get out of here, Yaz. We can do it."  
Yaz's mouth opened, as if to speak, but more footsteps caught her attention. The Doctor glanced behind them - one set of footsteps, that was what her sharp ears were catching.

"Go." she insisted, setting off as fast as she could. Her legs were struggling to take her weight, but it had to be done. Yaz wrapped an arm around her back, and despite herself, the warm sensation of the human's touch was a kind of relief she couldn't begin to explain. The support; that was - so very special, right now. It didn't matter. The smell of smoke and the dust in the air were doing their best to obliterate her senses, but she wasn't going to stand for this, or anything else. Dropping her voice as quiet as she could, she glanced behind them. "Keep quick. Straight ahead." she whispered, "Should be the right after. I think."

Being unsure wasn't something the Doctor liked. The lack of vision, the damage that had happened to her body, they had scrambled her. There had to be some innate sense she had, to get her mental map right, and that mental map was saying that it was the next right then straight ahead. The footsteps had stopped. They faded into the distance as they kept moving - turning right, then straight ahead.  
"I don't know if Ryan and Graham made it out." Yaz whispered, in her ear, "I went back for - for you, but I told them to run." she admitted. "I had to get them out, I had to."  
"You did the right thing." the Doctor whispered back, so proud of her. "You shouldn't've come for me."   
"As if I'd ever leave you behind." Yaz responded, rolling her eyes, and her hearts flooded with warmth again.

There it was. Ahead, double doors; dingy outside, but they sped up. Her left leg buckled, and Yaz redoubled her support. Pushing forward, she reached out, leaving an orangey smear on the white. Immediately, the heat and dust hit them. The light was starting to fade, but outside - outside was freedom. Dirt, not great for her open wounds, but she would push through.   
"We'll be okay, Doctor." Yaz said, as they stepped out. The uneven territory was far worse, far more uncomfortable than the steady flat floor, muscles working as they did so to clambour.

Behind them, there was another deep boom. Twisting, peering through the open door - a distant shape, running towards them. The instinct to help pushed against her, and the Doctor made to move away from Yaz - the woman redoubling her grip, instead, refusing to let her go. No - it wasn't Ryan and Graham. Tusks, angry face, a weapon - it was Susan.  
"Doctor!" Yaz tugged her, but - there was more rubble. She saw it, as if in slow motion. The whole of the building starting to crumble, folding in behind Susan as she ran at them, aiming.  
"Run!" she yelled, "Run, Susan, get out of there!" but - the ceiling was going. Yaz held her back, and in front of her eyes, the building crumbled. For a breath, she stopped, peering behind her - as she was buried. The deep noises echoed inside her chest, hearts thundering.

"No..." she rasped, swaying on her feet, tears stinging her eyes. The woman had chipped her, tormented her, but - she still felt like a failure. Not again, not more death. For a moment, she was still, as the dust billowed, sending sand flying in the air. And then she turned, letting Yaz help her.

"Doc? Yaz? Is that you?" the voices were close. As she turned, the Doctor could see - two shapes, next to something else.   
"Where are they?" Yaz asked, "I hear them, but only just."  
"This way." keeping the arm around her body, the Doctor managed to navigate over the mess. Yes - there they were. And another car, standing with it's doors just open. Different to the one they had blown up earlier.   
"Whoa." Ryan's voice dropped low.  
"Just a few scratches." the Doctor said, immediately, forcing a smile, "So glad to see you, fam. Let's get out of here, shall we?"  
"Good plan, Doc." Graham looked as cowed as the others. She pushed the feeling of pity away, opening the back door and climbing in, stiffly. Yaz climbed in next to her; Ryan took the driver's seat, after a moment of hesitation.

"Let's go home." she whispered, shutting her eyes and taking a breath, letting silence fall around her for the beat of two hearts.


	24. car accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so ngl I got a bit uh. Mixed up? For some reason the guide I wrote myself missed a few prompts out and in attempting to fix it I mixed some of them around. TOMORROW's prompt is car accident. HOWEVER because this is already written there ... isn't much I can do about it lmao so have these slightly out of order woo.

  
"Do you even know how to drive, son?" Graham was definitely looking better, with that device strapped to his arm. His colour had come back - when he wasn't looking at the Doctor. And she was trying to honour her friend's request, but she looked absolutely wrecked. Soaked in blood, bruises already riding high on her cheeks - and she was looking just as exhausted as Yaz felt. Almost as soon as the car was started - Graham and Ryan had found the keys on their way out of the building, the entire reason they had found the car - she had slumped into the corner, eyes shut.

The Doctor wasn't one for showing any kind of weakness. Yaz had realised that a long time ago. So for her to give in so willingly to sleep, she must be beyond exhausted. But their last experience of her being this tired was - well, when she had thought she was dead. Was it going to happen again, was she going to fall into that sleep of the dead? Against her better judgement, Yaz reached out. Her hands were covered in sticky half-dried blood, but that wasn't enough to deter her from wrapping the shockingly cold digits in hers. Holding the Doctor's hand in the back of a car - not ideal, but she needed the reassurance.

"Yeah, 'course I can. Got hours in Azetto Corsa."  
"Okay, but have you got an actual driving license, Ryan?" Graham continued. They were starting to drive, at the very least, admittedly - somewhat cautiously as the car pulled away from the collapsed rubble, pushing through the sand and dust that had covered it.   
"Yeah, 'course I do." Ryan insisted, "I mean, I only had like, six lessons, but -"  
"Wait, you're tellin' me that you're driving an alien car on an alien plane with a provisional driving license?"

She tuned out their little spat. As long as they were moving, that was all that mattered. The Doctor needed to get back to the TARDIS, as a matter of urgency. Graham's arm needed more tending than the strange device on it. They all needed showers, and to rest. And - she had to deal with Saren, who was currently in her pocket. Whilst exploring, she'd found what was alarmingly like the kitchen at the police station. She'd found a jar full of sugar, dumped it on the side and shoved the shrunken Saren in there. Every minute that went by ran the risk that he would re-expand and they would be stuck with a very angry lizard man - wait, wait. No, not man. She grimaced. They would expand, and then they'd all be stuck with a very angry, very injured Saren, which is the last thing they wanted. She wasn't sure why she'd brought them instead of leaving them behind to be buried by rubble, but ... 

It didn't matter, right now. She kept the Doctor's hand in hers, squeezing it, gently. The pulses were reassuring. The woman's eyes drifted half open, here and there, but Yaz wasn't going to let herself drift off for a moment. She had to be strong, be there for her, no matter how tired she was. The sounds of bickering in the front were getting louder again, and she scowled, leaning forward between them.

"Would you two knock it off? She's sleeping."  
"Oh, I gotta see that." Graham twisted to look, but she shoved him back into his seat, rolling her eyes. "This one's driving without a license. I should do it." he said, gesturing at Ryan.  
"You've got a broken arm! Anyway, I'm doin' fine. Only thing I'm not great at is knowing when to change gears and this thing is automatic!" Ryan objected, gripping the wheel firmly as they crested a small dune, thumping down on the other side. "Don't worry, I'm handling it. You've got a broken arm, I don't even know what's going on with the Doctor."  
"I could take over." Yaz suggested, although she was reticent to let go of the Doctor's hand.   
"Last time you drove you crashed us!" Ryan objected, and perhaps he had a point but it still stung.

She slumped back into her seat.   
"It's fine Graham. Let him drive." she said, "It's not like I'm going to arrest you." she shrugged, peering out of the window again at the endless sand going by. "Just keep an eye out for that pit where the TARDIS is." Graham grumbled, but finally gave in. Ryan's cocky grin almost made her regret defending him, but she didn't want to leave the Doctor in the back. And, after all, Graham's arm was still in a bad way... Ryan was doing okay. A little cautious, but that was okay. Last thing they needed was to drive dangerously. The sky outside was starting to darken again, night coming in, but the inside of the car was a nice temperature, and the steady movement - she wanted to sleep too.

"Anyone know where we're going?" Ryan asked, uncertainly. "I mean, it's getting well dark now, I don't wanna drive into a pit."  
Yaz shifted, peering ahead, into the distance. Trying to place where they were, in the grand scene of giant sand dunes, where they had been before - it all looked the same, and with the rapidly dropping light, it was harder and harder to tell where they were. She glanced across at the Doctor; the last thing she needed was to spend a whole night here. And the longer they spent in this place, the more chance there was of Saren returning to himself.

"Okay. Um. If - had we been driving in a straight line?"  
"Um, near enough."  
"Okay. The car - was facing the direction we came from, I think. We gotta be near. Maybe we should start doin', y'know, circles... I dunno." she frowned. Ryan nodded, uncertainly, speeding up a little bit. He twisted to look over his shoulder to talk to Yaz.  
"I just don't wanna miss it. You know I get lost in a car park, Yaz -"  
"Look out!" Graham grabbed the wheel, but he was too slow. Ryan looked back around, stamping on the brakes, but the sand went from under the tracks - and they had a split second view of what Graham had spotted in the headlights.

The car whined, but they were too far over the edge. The crack in the ground had opened up before them, and they couldn't stop.   
"Doctor!" Yaz grabbed her, and she startled awake, but it was too late - the car was falling. It skidded down the side. "Brace!" she yelled, sinking back into her seat, hoping against hope -

They landed with an astoundingly loud boom. She wasn't sure how far the car had fallen, but the internal lights were off. The engine whined down into silence, and they were in darkness. She squeezed the Doctor's hand and got a reassuring squeeze back.  
"Sound off." the alien spoke, and she was amazed by how calm she sounded. "Is everyone okay?"   
"Ow. Yeah." Graham's voice floated back to them.  
"I'm fine." Yaz said, softly. She was aching where she'd been thrown about, but she did feel mostly okay, even if her shoulders were throbbing.

"Ryan?"  
A low groan reached them. "Yeah. Yeah, m'okay." he said, slowly. "Didn't see the pit..."   
The sound of a door opening reached them. The car whined but the internal light switched on; Ryan turned the key, and, whilst it wasn't happy about it, the car turned on. The front lights were half buried, but the lights blazed.   
"I don't think we're getting out in this car." Ryan said, awkwardly, peering back at them. "But some light is better than nothing, right?" he stepped out of his door, reaching up to help the doors open on the Doctor's side. Yaz put an arm around her back, and she took a deep breath before starting to wiggle free. Graham freed himself out of Ryan's door, too, hopping down.

The blood had created a nasty crust on the Doctor's legs, but Yaz could see there would be some serious damage hidden below. When she hopped, Ryan caught her - and she almost collapsed immediately, injured muscles unable to take the blow. The soft whimper that escaped her almost broke Yaz's heart, but if the others had heard it, they gave no sign. After a moment, she managed to stand, and Yaz hopped down after her, giving the car a pat.  
"On the bright side ... we found the TARDIS. I think." Yaz peered around the space. "Come on, let's go." she gestured, and they walked, into the deep crag. 

Time drifted into nothing. It was cold, getting colder. The Doctor was struggling, she could tell, keeping an arm tight around her friend's side. But there, in the gloom - a faint light. Her eyes widened, speeding up a little, the shape revealing itself - the TARDIS. The light on top was glowing softly - more of an issue because she was laying on her side. But she was there. Yaz smiled, nudging the Doctor, who jerked her head up - and let out a gasp. Injuries aside, she pushed away, almost jogging to the TARDIS' side, touching the wood. When she looked back at the three of them, her eyes were shining.   
"Come on, fam. Time to go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you all for the support, this is the best I've ever done at a writing challenge like this. Thanks for all the kudos and comments, they really do keep me going!


	25. Time Travel

  
"Okay, I can fix this." the Doctor said, brightly, pushing the door open. They peered in; everything was sideways, which was a very weird thing to see.   
"Doctor, how are you gonna fix this? You can barely stand -"  
"I'm fine." she insisted, "I can do this. Just - hang tight here for a second, fam, okay?" she sat on the edge, carefully, taking a deep breath. Yaz grimaced, wanting to help, not knowing how. "I'll be fine! I'll just turn her the right way up."

"Promise you won't leave us?" Yaz said, low and urgently. She knew the TARDIS could be finicky at the best of times, and she was terrified that the Doctor would vanish and not come back. "Please."  
"Yaz, I promise, I won't leave you here." the Doctor insisted - and then jumped. The door swung shut behind her. Yaz stumbled back, finding the comforting solid weight of Ryan and Graham just behind her. Graham put his good hand on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze, and she was more grateful than she could admit for that.

"Think she'll be okay?" she asked, softly.  
"She better be." Graham responded, shaking his head a little. He still had the contraption wrapped around his arm. "I am not spending another minute on this planet, if I can help it. I want to go home, have a big fry up, and sleep for a week."  
"God, I would kill for a fry-up." Ryan said, with a groan, shaking his head, "And like, a two hour long shower."  
"I could do with the two hour long shower." Yaz agreed, with her stomach growling just a little at the thought of a fry up, too. Fried bread, scrambled eggs ... she pushed the thought away.

"All we have to do is wait." Yaz said, slowly. "Just - wait. And she'll be back." she moved away a little more, taking a careful breath, trying not to think of how the Doctor's legs had buckled when she climbed out of the car. She was so - so very hurt, and her heart twisted. Inside her jacket, she felt the jar wiggle - she couldn't look without letting the lads see, so she just hoped that Saren wasn't about to escape or re-expand. But the TARDIS began to whirr, that low, familiar scraping noise. It began to de-materialise, throwing sand up in the air. Twisting, they all covered their eyes to avoid losing that, and after a moment, there was silence. Looking up, blinking - and then it was back. More sand, more dirt and whirling, and when it stopped, the door opened.

"Doctor." Yaz beamed. She looked just as hurt, just as bloody, and it took everything she had not to hug the woman. Ryan and Graham followed her in, the TARDIS looking - normal. As if nothing had happened at all. All of them breathed a sigh of relief, and shut the door behind them. The Doctor was leaning slightly on the console.  
"I think home is a good shout?" she suggested. Yaz nodded, feeling the others do the same as they moved closer, grasping onto pillars. The Doctor moved around, faster than Yaz had expected she would be able to. Levers, switches, buttons - and then she threw the biggest handle, and the TARDIS whined and flung them into space, as well as all over the place.

The Doctor moved more stiffly than she had before; Yaz watched her, struggling around the console. Graham was fiddling with his cast, the tech still humming softly. Yaz sat down heavily, taking a deep breath, enjoying a moment almost like normalcy. Her shoulders were aching from the blow. She missed her bed - the one here, but also the one at her parent's flat. Although they were sure to ask questions if she went back. Ryan and Graham definitely had it easier, living together - it would be better for them. No questions, no confusion, just ... home. The TARDIS was feeling more like her home now than her parents ever did.

Maybe she would stay here with the Doctor. Use the TARDIS shower, sleep in the bed in her room. The TARDIS landed with a heavy thud, and the Doctor clapped her hands.  
"Here we go. About - ooh, two weeks, after your last visit." she said, brightly, not moving from the console. "Sorry, fam. This, uh... could've been better."  
"Still better than the death-eye turtle army." Graham said, lightly.  
"... Not sure I agree with that." Ryan objected, shaking his head. "Doctor, d'you wanna -?" he was about to invite her, but his voice trailed off. She was still soaked in blood and a clear mess. Yaz could see the gears turning in his head, but the offer had already been made, after all. 

"Nah. I'm good. Thanks, fam." she said, lightly, "I'll stay parked up here, yeah? Come back whenever you're ready. Gonna have to do some maintenance, get some things back where they should be. Last time she ended up on her side the swimming pool ended up in the library." she admitted, awkwardly. "I'll be alright."   
Graham nodded, then hesitated. "Doc, this, uh, this thing -" he held out his arm. She trotted over vigilantly, investigating it, buzzing it with the sonic - after Yaz handed it over.   
"That's a pretty neat bit of tech. How did you get this?"  
"That scientist woman - Susan, yeah - she put it on me. Said she built it." he said, lightly. "I do tell you, my arm's been feeling better ever since."

The Doctor carefully unwrapped it. Graham wiggled his fingers. The surface was slightly damp, and all the hairs where it had been seemed to be gone. The Doctor buzzed it again.  
"I'd say it's accelerated your healing pretty well, Graham." she said, lightly, "Your bone is almost completely mended." she added, with a smile, "You should be good. I'd keep hold of this, but don't let anyone else see it." she said, holding up the device, before putting it in his arms. "Few centuries advanced of Earth tech."  
"Cheers, doc. I feel better about that." he nodded. Ryan hesitated, as if considering a hug, and then settled on a wave as they left.

"You coming, Yaz?" Graham asked.  
"No, I'm - I'm gonna stay here. Can't be bothered with my parents wondering where I've been, y'know?"  
"You could stay with me." she shot a glance over her shoulder at the Doctor, lingering by the console, pointedly not looking at them.  
"Nah. It's fine. Plus I like the TARDIS shower. I'll be fine, Graham. I'll see you soon."  
"Alright, cockle. If you're sure. But come over tomorrow morning and we'll have a massive fryup."  
"Sounds like a plan." Yaz smiled, letting him go, shutting the door and turning back to the Doctor.

"You staying?" she asked, realising Yaz was still there.   
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm - gonna go grab a shower. Are you going to be okay?" she didn't want to leave the Doctor behind.  
"Always okay, me." she responded, gently, "I'm going to go have a shower too, I think. Get out of these." she tugged at her sticky clothes.  
"Good plan." Yaz said, gently. "If y'need me for anything, just call, okay? Promise?"  
"Promise." the Doctor agreed. She didn't move from the console, but Yaz left her, going and showering. When she had got all the dirt, blood and sand out of her hair and off her skin, she felt so much better. Putting on new clothes - comfortable new clothes - she paused in her bedroom.

Saren was sat on the vanity table. They were still in their jar, occasionally yelling, pacing, banging. She could see they were hurt, nasty burns in their scales; she'd pierced a few small holes in the top so that they could breathe. It still felt wrong, but she locked the door firmly when she left, trusting the TARDIS to keep him in. Intending to head to the kitchen - her stomach's growling was hard to ignore - she set off at a quick pace down the corridor. Only, she kept finding herself - not at the kitchen. The TARDIS was taking her in circles.

"Where do you want me to go?" she finally snapped at the ceiling. The lights changed, and over one door got brighter. The doors were all decorated with what she assumed were words, strange circles and loops and lines, and she had never deciphered them. But that was as clear a sign as she could see, so she pushed the door open.  
The smell of antiseptic hit her. Blinding white lights, clean and clear. Unmistakably - medical. And as she pushed it open, she saw a shape sat in the middle.  
"Doctor?"


	26. Recovery

  
"Doctor?"  
The woman had her back to Yaz, but she startled when the human spoke. Her coat was discarded over the back of a chair; she was shirtless. The bruises covering her body gave Yaz more than a moment's pause. Her reaction might have been very different if she was seeing a shirtless Doctor without the injuries, but - even having seen the blood, she didn't realise how badly hurt her friend was.

She turned awkwardly; her hand was clutching a bloodied pad of gauze.   
"Yaz. What're you doing in here?" she asked, surprisingly soft, and Yaz moved around to the other side of her, doing her best to telegraph her moves so that if the Doctor wanted to cover up, she could. But she clearly had no bother about what Yaz was seeing. At least she still had her bra on, although it was also stained with orange tinted blood. She fought not to inhale sharply when she saw the gash on her chest, which the Doctor had clearly been trying to clean.

"TARDIS brought me here." she said, gently. "I didn't realise how badly they hurt you." she murmured. Admittedly, she had quite a good idea, but seeing the Doctor like this ... she reached out, taking the damp gauze from her hand. "Let me help?" The Doctor clearly hesitated, but after a pause where she held her breath, Yaz saw her nod. She carefully began to wipe the skin clean, dabbing gently as she removed the blood, well aware of the double heartbeat underneath her fingertips.

"Thank you." Yaz wasn't sure why she was thanking her, for letting her help with this. She carefully wiped the blood away, revealing the injury. The Doctor clearly healed fast, judging by the fact the wound had already started to seal itself together. She was gentle, but it didn't come apart. There was more gauze, a bowl of warm water, sat to one side. Keeping her movements cautious, Yaz got some fresh - this piece already soaked - carefully dabbing at the Doctor's wounds that she could see. She cleaned her legs next, and then, with immense caution, the cuts on her face and the stripes on her neck. The Doctor stayed quiet the entire time, and when Yaz put the last bit of gauze down, the smile that greeted her was definitely uncertain.

"Here." the Doctor reached down, picking up a tube of cream with blue and red stripes on it, as well as words - Yaz didn't understand them, but they looked more like medical words beyond her understanding rather han any kind of alien language. "Just - " she took a new piece of gauze, smearing some on it. Then she reached down, carefully wiping it over her leg. Her jaw tightened - Yaz half reached out, unsure - but where the goo was being smeared against her pale skin and those vivid slices, it was almost bubbling, starting to seal up. "Won't heal me completely but it helps. On a human, this would have you completely healed in a minute. Time Lords - bit more complicated." Yaz reached out instinctively, now, and took the gauze. She began to work the cream into those cuts, watching as it started to speed up he healing.

When both the Doctor's legs were done, she straightened up, dabbing more of the cream onto the gauze. The Doctor's eyes were half shut, glazed, and she couldn't help but smile a tiny bit as she got to work on her collarbones, and then her neck. The Doctor's eyes opened properly as Yaz gingerly rested her hands on the pale cheek to get a better angle. She was cold; it was jarring, always, how much cooler than a human the Docor ran. But she was smiling, just a little. Yaz tried not to smile back too much as she focused on gently smearing the healing cream, glad at how fast the lighter scratches were healing.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, finally, as she started to get the last, tiny cuts on her face, as well as some of the bruises.  
"You never cease to amaze me, Yaz." the Doctor responded, voice soft. "No matter what we go through, what we see. Humans. You really are phenomenal."  
"I think you need to get some sleep." Yaz couldn't help but grin, ducking her head slightly as she always did when the Doctor praised her. "You've been through more than the rest of us, I think." the Doctor's hands were moving; she picked up the cream again, and put a tiny bit on her fingertip.

"Here." she reached out, and Yaz stilled, before she turned her head. The Doctor gently pressed the cream against the cut in her neck where the chip had been dug out of her so violently. It did sting, she was right; felt like very concentrated pins and needles. She exhaled sharply, but it faded pretty quickly. The Doctor wiped her hand on her trousers, and Yaz got the same point on her neck with the gauze.  
"Think that's all of it." she dumped the dirty fabric into the little pile that had built whilst she had been working away. The Doctor was already looking a lot better, but the dark shadows under her eyes and the still present patches of dried blood weren't great.

"You should probably shower first, though." she added. "Don't think people'll take it well if you're all covered in dry blood. And get some new clothes."  
"TARDIS is already making me a set." she said, softly.   
"You gotta show me how to do that. I want to duplicate my pyjamas, they're the softest things I've ever owned." Yaz said, smiling, remembering when she had been given them. Sonya might be a nightmare but she gave really good presents.

"Yeah... shower is a good idea." the Doctor moved slowly, cautiously, and it took everything Yaz had not to reach out and offer support for her. She knew the Doctor wouldn't accept it, even in this oddly touchy-feely mood she appeared to be in. She could see that the Doctor was afraid that her legs wouldn't take the weight, especially after how she'd been struggling before, but they did. After a moment she stood totally straight, with a bright grin, and it was so very easy for her to return it. 

"Right." Yaz paused, hesitated. Saren. In her room. If they hadn't re-expanded and been crushed by the glass. Every minute that went by was more of a risk, more danger. "I'm gonna go - have a cup of tea." she said, "You come have one with me once you're all sorted out? Please?" the Doctor smiled and nodded, picking up her coat.  
"I could kill a cuppa. Sure." she said, brightly, "Then you need to get some sleep, Yaz. I bet you the lads are flat out by now."  
"Nah, Ryan'll be playing Fifa. We could be on the run without sleep for like, two weeks, and I bet you Ryan would still play Fifa first." not that it was unknown for her to hang out with him in his room and play it, too, but not after a big night like this. If it wasn't for the jar of asshole, honestly, she would absolutely be in bed.

But she left the Doctor be, heading to the kitchen. She made herself a tea, hesitating before pouring one for the Doctor, adding in her five sugars and milk. Plonking it on the other side, she sat heavily in her chair, pulling out her phone. Facebook, Twitter, any kind of social media, they were always a bit ... wonky. Something to do with how the TARDIS interpreted time and all that. Her phone generally seemed synced to the date and time that she had left Earth, which definitely helped in her keeping track of how long she'd been gone, but she wondered how it worked when the Doctor went back on time ... pushing complicated thoughts out of her tired brain, she sipped at her tea, loading up a simple match three game.

The Doctor bounced in about five minutes later, her hair settling in damp curls around her face, but all cleaned up and wearing a brand new set of clothes. The bruises on her face had eased massively and the cuts on her neck were near enough gone. That was a relief, seeing her looking so much more like herself. She flopped unceremoniously into the chair opposite Yaz, and took a long swig of her tea, smacking her lips after.  
"Ooh, that hits the spot. Just what I need." she said, brightly, but her face fell into more serious lines as she looked at Yaz. "What's up?"  
"Oh." she smiled, awkwardly, squeezing her half-empty mug. "It's, um. I have something I need to ... discuss with you?"  
The Doctor's face definitely fell. Her mouth opened, then closed. Hands fidgeting. Awkward, uncomfortable. It was amazing to Yaz how this woman could face down evil aliens, walk into guns and bombs and monsters, but if you discussed anything emotional with her, she'd fall apart.

"I'm not leaving." she said, quickly. "I - there's - fuck."   
"Oh." the Doctor said. "Yaz, I -"  
"I have Saren."   
Silence fell for a beat. The Doctor stiffened, then leant forward.  
"What d'you mean, you have Saren?"  
"I shrunk them. Using this." she dumped the shrinking device on the table. "I stole it from Susan's lab, and I shrunk them and put them in a jar. They're in my room. She said the device is - is unstable, so they could turn back to normal any time."  
"You've ... been carrying around Saren Whiteblood, in a jar, this whole time?" her tone was almost emotionless and Yaz winced.  
"Yeah. Sorry. Couldn't find a really good time to mention it."

"Okay." the Doctor sat back, before rubbing the bridge of her nose. "This ... could be good. I have a, uh, a - vault. I have an enclosure we can put them in." she drained her tea and stood up. "Let's go grab them."  
"Good plan." Yaz said, a little faintly. "We lock 'em up, then what?"  
"Honestly, I haven't got a clue, Yaz, but I'm sure I'll think of something eventually."


	27. "I wish I had never given you a chance."

  
She hadn't expected to ever use the internal jail in the TARDIS again, but - here she was. Yaz was standing at her side as she cautiously opened the door to her bedroom, not sure what they would be facing. There was the jar, on the desk; Saren was sitting inside it, back to the glass, arms folded over their chest. Even in their tiny size, the Doctor could see the burns and damage on their face, let alone how long they'd been without food or water. Yaz hadn't intended to be cruel, of course she hadn't, but it still made her chest tighten to think of what had happened here.

"Are you going to be able to turn them back to normal?" Yaz asked, uncertainly.  
"Shouldn't be too hard." the Doctor replied, keeping her voice calm. She reached out for the jar, and Saren glared up at her, shouting and swearing, muffled by the glass and their diminutive size. "I shrank myself down once, to go inside a Dalek." she murmured, the memories rising, unbidden, "Fooled myself into believing it could be helped." she shook her head, turning, leading the way again, feeling as Yaz trailed behind her. Maybe she shouldn't let the human accompany her, knowing the risks, but .. she deserved to know that Saren was locked up securely. She had been just as hurt by them and their experiments, after all.

"You went inside a dalek?" Yaz's tone of absolute astonishment wasn't a surprise, but she almost regretted bringing the topic up. Grimacing, she nodded.  
"The tech was a lot more stable than this," she admitted, as they moved through the corridors at quick pace, heading farther into the TARDIS, the parts where she would rarely let humans go. And then she opened the door. It wasn't how it had been when Missy had been here, although thinking of that made her hearts ache all over again. Now it was a clear and empty enclosure, with only a bed and a table. She opened the jar, and tipped them out onto the table. They fell ungracefully, landing with a bump.

"Don't threaten us." she said, sharply, as they scrabbled up to their feet, tail lashing. "I'm warning you now, Saren. We aren't interested." she glance back at Yaz, hovering near the door. "Yaz saved your life, and you should be grateful." she turned and started to walk back towards the door, gesturing for Yaz to exit. She moved to just outside, face astonishingly passive, peering back through the clear panels. The Doctor fiddled with her sonic, sure that she had the right setting. Standing in the door, she pointed it at Saren. The whirring filled the space. For a breath, she wondered if her tech wasn't enough, if they would have to wait.

But then space distorted, shifting, and the next moment they were facing down a very angry, very hurt Gnorrian. She tucked the sonic back into her pocket, eyes flickering over them. They were burnt, the injuries a lot clearer now. But, for all their attempts at bravado, the Doctor could see the damage ran deeper.   
"You're going to stay here until we decide what to do with you." she said, shortly. "Count yourself lucky. Your scientist friend got crushed when the building went down. I - I wasn't quick enough to save her." her throat bobbed. The little bubble of emotion she felt was hard to crush down. No matter how evil the person she faced, the last thing she wanted was more blood on her hands.

"Now you're going to stay here. Don't try to get out." she stepped back, and pulled the door behind her. It clanged shut, and after a breath the locks engaged with a whirr and a clunk. Saren stared at her, still stood where they had reformed, eyes narrowed ever so slightly. The Doctor stood solid, keeping her face as neutral as possible. After a moment, with a low whirr, the TARDIS did what she was supposed to, dispensing a small cup of water, and a tray of food, as well as a tube of ointment not dissimilar to what Yaz had used on her injuries earlier.  
"What is that?" she asked, at the Doctor's shoulder.  
"Burn cream. It'll help them heal up. Come on, let's go." she sighed, turning.

They left the room, leaving Saren standing where they had been left. The door slid shut behind them and she took a moment to just breathe, startling at the warm touch on her arm. Opening her eyes, there was Yaz, smiling just a little. Although this body was bad at reading faces, but - there was something else going on there, she was sure.   
"Y'know, sometimes ... I wish I had never given you a chance." she said, lowly, and a cold feeling wrapped around the Doctor's hearts as she automatically straightened, moving away from the touch. Yaz's hand fell away. For all the world it was like a barrier had just pressed up between them.  
"What d'you mean?" she asked, blinking a few times, playing up the innocent confusion. But this was probably it. Yaz deciding she didn't want to travel any more. Seen too much of the Doctor's anger and cruelty. It always happened, in the end.

"Back when we first met. Before I had any idea what I was getting into, on that train. I could've taken you in." she shook her head, eyes drifting down. "And none of this would've happened. Sometimes I miss being that person."   
"Yaz, I don't understand, why're you sayin' this?" she couldn't help but question. The cold feeling was running down her spine now.  
"No, I mean - I was different then. I thought, for some reason, y'know, I could change the world. And now - I've seen the past, and I've seen worlds I could never imagine, and I know that ... everything I thought I could do, I could achieve? That's all changed."  
"Yaz..." she swallowed hard. This was the worst of it all. She had told them, warned them - "Humans always come out of travelling with me different. Always." she admitted.

"I don't want you to lose hope, Yaz. Wanting to be police, to change the world - that's good, you know that, right?"  
"Yeah. But it's not enough, is it? Because I'm going to be part of the system. The same system that oppresses and hurts people. And sometimes I miss thinking that I could change it, but I can't. Krasko, right? He proved that." she shook her head. "And I - Susan died because we didn't get to her. And after all the horrible things she did, before I met you, I would've said she deserved it. I'd say that I should've left Saren behind. But I didn't because of you, because you're in my head." 

She wasn't sure whether she was supposed to be proud of that or not, but the Doctor smiled at her regardless. Kindness, that was a good thing. Making people see the value of lfe, that was huge, to her.   
"You know I'm so proud of you, Yaz?" she said, softly. And she was. It filled her like a bubbling spring, washing away all those cold feelings. "You really are the best of humanity." she gave a tiny smile. "I'll let them get better, recover from their injuries ... then I'll decide what to do with them."  
"And what do you think you will? Drop them off at space jail?"  
The Doctor sighed. They were almost back to the console room, now, and her mind went back to the rage consumed in the person now in a cell.

"They had a point." she said, slowly, carefully. "They do deserve to be punished for what they chose to do. For all the harm they caused, the death. And ... they were right."  
"About what?"  
"I didn't act. I didn't help their people. And now I can't."  
"Because if you go back, then you'll mess up the timeline?"  
"And this would never happen. Yeah." the Doctor grimaced. "I'll think about it, Yaz. You should get some sleep."  
"So should you."   
"Yeah. I will. Goodnight." she hesitated, then patted Yaz on the shoulder, before striding to the console room. But she didn't go to sleep, instead sitting on the floor, back against a pillar. She watched the centre column, listening to the TARDIS as she hummed gently, alive.

"What do I do?" she murmured. Saren. Maybe she could get through to them, maybe not. It wasn't the same as Missy, though. The Master had always had a good heart - or two - buried in them. It had just been a case of reminding her what their history was about. But this ... she had no idea. And their rage, it was - so very deserved. She hadn't helped, she hadn't done what she could. Yaz's words kept running in her head, chasing in a loop - wishing that she'd never given the Doctor a chance. Missing when it was easier to be callous, to be cruel and distant, yes. She understood, more than she wanted to admit. And exhausted she might be, but this ... this was a bigger problem that she had to tackle.

Getting back up, she strode over to the console, pressing a few buttons - pulling up the monitor. Saren was sat on the bed. The water and food tray were empty. They gently dabbed the cream on their burns, and she watched the whipping tail, easy to tell just why they were frustrated. Sleep wouldn't come tonight, she knew that... so she settled on doing some simple repairs, occupying herself under the console, trying not to think too hard. The answer would come, eventually. She just had to trust her brains.

Time slipped away, letting herself focus on just the repairs. When Yaz came in she had just finished with some rewiring, and sat up, with a bright smile.  
"Morning. You going over to Graham's for that fry up?" she asked.  
"Ah, I think I'll stay here. Finish re-wiring." the Doctor responded, lightly, "Won't be long, though. I'll pop over for a cuppa once I'm done?" she suggested, mind already knowing just what she was going to do. Yaz was already dressed, although in her comfy clothes rather than what the Doctor had started thinking of as her adventure clothes.

She could see the deliberation on Yaz's face.   
"Did you sleep at all?"  
"'Course I did." she lied, easily, years of practice, "I got a few hours. Need less than you."  
"How's Saren?"  
"Last I checked they were asleep." the Doctor replied, honestly. It had been a couple of hours ago. The calmness had given her a little discomfort, but still. "I'm going to take them somewhere that they can't hurt anyone again." she said, with a faint smile. "Thinking about what you said, Yaz. Go get your breakfast. I'll be fine here."  
"You promise?"  
"I'm always fine, Yaz. You know me."

She waited for Yaz to go, waving her off. And when she was gone, the Doctor set the co ordinates and threw the handle, throwing the TARDIS into the vortex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow's the last day, folks! Story's finally wrapping up :)


	28. "You have to let me go."

  
"You have to let me go." Saren stood opposite the door, staring at her, eyes cold and gaze even.  
"See your burns are healing up well. I'm glad." she responded, voice calm, gaze just as icy. "I take care of my prisoners. Not a big fan of having prisoners, in general, if I'm honest. But I'm not going to stick a chip in your neck and make you into a slave, so, maybe I'm the bigger man - woman - person, eh?" she pulled a cocky grin onto her lips, staring them down. She was done being afraid. Her bruises were almost gone, the signs of the damage the Gnorrian had caused near enough gone. 

"You can't keep me here."  
"Oh, I could. See, this is my TARDIS. Don't know how much you know about me, not really," she smirked, "For all these legends you say you heard. But the TARDIS doesn't really - follow any other laws. All of space and time. I can do whatever I want, Saren Whiteblood." she grinned, now, wide and dangerous. Posturing, maybe. Perhaps she just liked letting out that slightly crueller self, the one she was always fighting to press back down. "I could keep you here until the day you die. Easy peasy. Then you wouldn't hurt anyone ever again. Not really a punishment, though. Not for what you did."

"I feel no regrets." they growled, although she could watch the muscles tightening, the slight hint of flashing teeth, the whip of their tail. Yeah, there were the cracks.   
"Do you really? I mean, tell me. Planet ravaged by war. All of your people, lost. And then the universe turns on you - gotta be some regrets, somewhere deep."  
They slammed a clawed hand on the wall, and she automatically took a half step back.  
"Ooh. Touched a nerve, there." she said, softly. "You might not believe this, Saren, but I very much know what it's like to lose your home. Everyone you loved and cared about. To have the rest of the universe think you're a monster? That's my bread and butter." she shook her head.

"I'm not a hero, I'm not a legend, no. I'm just - me. I do what I can, when I can." she sighed. "So yes. Yes. I do have to let you go. And I already know what I'm going to do. You have a choice, Saren." she pointed the sonic at the door and buzzed until it swung open. She took a step back, gesturing. "You can come with me. I'm going to take you somewhere safe. Not prison." she added. "I'm not going to lock you up, Saren, because that's not how you're going to learn." she watched as they reached out to push the door open, stepping out.

"Don't run." she added, "And don't try to hurt me. My ship won't like me very much if you try that." she turned her back on them and started to walk away, well aware of their movements, their steps. The TARDIS was very much prepared to throw up a temporary field around them if they decided on attack, but she figured that Saren was sharp enough not to do that. "Don't even consider running deeper into her, either. There's only one door in and out. All you'll do is get lost, and I recommend against anyone going too deep. Even I run the risk of never getting out again. Living ship, Saren." she rested a palm on the wall for just a moment as they walked.

"Yes." they said, voice surprisingly quiet. "I heard of your ship, Doctor. Part of your whole legend, of course. The time ship. How you could back, fix things so they could never happen. How you chose not to. Another little cruelty."  
"Time is a fickle beast, Saren. I could have gone back, fixed things, done my very best to save your planet. And I would have, I really would. I don't ignore a cry for help, never - if it's my best friend or my worst enemy, I won't say no. But I never did get your call. I can't tell you why. For what it's worth - I truly am sorry." she shook her head slowly.

"Fuck off."  
"Yeah, maybe I deserve that." she sighed. "You're lucky my friends aren't here to hear language like that." she added, stepping into the console room. Saren paused, taking it in, slowly. She glanced back. Maybe there was a little wonder, in those angry eyes.  
"Susan's dead."  
"Yeah. I was too badly hurt to get her out in time." she replied, softly, resting a hand on the console. "For all her cruelty, she really was a brilliant scientist. It's a shame." she shook her head again.

"Door's over there." she pointed, looking back at Saren. They seemed conflicted, caught between aggression and the opportunity to leave. Slowly, they started to walk towards the doors, pausing next to them.  
"Why are you doing this?" they asked, looking back at her. She straightened, meeting their gaze, their genuine puzzlement.   
"Because," she took a deep breath, "I have made so many mistakes. So many more than you can imagine. I've been cruel. I have done things that I will never be proud of. And sometimes the only thing to stop me going too far has been someone else, giving me that chance." her eyes dropped back to the TARDIS.

"I'm giving you a chance to make this right, Saren. You aren't going to save your home, and I'm sorry. Maybe you'll go back to being cruel. Maybe not." she sighed, and pressed a button. The doors swung out. Saren paused, and turned their head, frowning. They took a few steps out into the clear air, blue toned grass underfoot. In the distance there was laughing - people, kids playing. She walked around the console, pausing in the doorway, too.  
"Where am I?"  
"You'll know it." she responded, wondering, yet again, if this was the right choice. A group of kids came running into sight, laughing, throwing a ball back and forth.

"No." Saren took a step backwards, their tail whipping. "Why? Why would you bring me here?"  
"Know thy enemy." she said, softly. "You've spent your time hating them. We're a few years before they turn on you. Now you decide what you want to do. Maybe you can find a shuttle home. Maybe you can find your way into their government, make some changes. Maybe you just survive. It's your choice, now." she said, lightly. "But these are normal people, Saren." she looked at the kids, who didn't seem to notice the Gnorrian or the TARDIS, wrapped up in their game. "They're living their lives, unaware of anything that's going to happen. Change starts here. Make the world kinder."

"I could kill you."  
"But you won't. Good luck." she turned away, and shut the TARDIS door, ignoring the almost immediate banging on it. She strode over to the console, setting the co ordinates - ten minutes after she left. She threw the lever, and sighed, shoulders slumping. Maybe it was a bad decision. Too risky, too dangerous. They could change everything, and break the timeline completely. Maybe they would go on a killing spree. Maybe they really would change. The TARDIS landed and she straightened her spine.

"Tea at Graham's." she said, softly, forcing a smile onto her lips. "Who doesn't love tea at Graham's?" and she walked away from the console, stepping out to a bright and chilly Sheffield morning, breathing deep of the sweet air. Whatever happened now would happen.   
And she would be okay with that.


	29. Epilogue

  
"You okay, Doc?"  
"Peachy, Graham, thank you." she was nibbling the corner of a piece of toast, heavily smeared in marmalade. She had a heavily sugared cup of tea in her other hand, smiling gently as she was. Her mind was wandering, exhaustion very much digging into her bones, but that was okay. She'd grab a couple of hours later, when the fam were distracted. That would be easy enough. 

"So, I think I might spend a couple nights here." Ryan said, softly, "Y'know, its been.. a lot. Think I need to just kick back, play some Fifa -"  
"Do you washing." Graham added, dryly.  
"Don't ruin it, granddad." Ryan groaned, and Yaz chuckled as the Doctor smiled.   
"Yeah, think Ryan's right." Graham said. "Just a couple days off, y'know. Get my strength back. Think I need six of these to get back to fighting form." he'd near enough finished the pile of greasy food he'd had, mopping up the last of the egg yolk with his fried bread.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go see my family." Yaz said, nodding. "I were thinking about it, I do need to see them. They think I'm on secondment." she admitted, wrinkling her nose. The Doctor couldn't remember what that meant, but she just smiled back, lightly. "What did you decide to do with Saren, in the end?" she asked.  
"Ah." the Doctor grimaced.  
"Wait, what?" Graham said, immediately, "What d'you mean, do with him?"  
"Did ... Yaz not tell you?"  
"No. Tell us what?" Ryan asked, suspicious.

"Oops. Yeah, my bad." Yaz said. "So I kinda found them after the building started blowing up, and I stole Susan's shrinking device. I were keeping them in a jar in my pocket."   
"You didn't see the need to mention that sooner?!" Graham exclaimed.  
"We were a bit distracted!" Yaz objected.  
"So, anyway. I dropped them off on a planet. Went back in time a bit - just before the attack on their home planet. I ... let them go there. On the planet that's going to attack theirs."

Silence fell. She bit down on her toast again, uncomfortable.  
"Why there?" Yaz finally asked.  
"I thought it was best." the Doctor shrugged. "It's so easy to see other species as the enemy. But most of the time ... it's the leaders. The ones far away from the fighting. They make decisions that will never endanger them, they take life after life... without caring. Maybe Saren will see them as people now. Be kinder. Maybe they won't, I don't know."  
"I think it was the right choice." Yaz said, gently, and smiled. The Doctor found herself smiling back. "Giving people a chance, y'know? I think that's what I want to do, now. Give people a chance."

Silence fell except for them finishing up their breakfasts. The Doctor drained her tea, and stood.  
"So. I'll see you the day after tomorrow, yeah? About midday?"  
"Sounds good, doc."   
"Yeah, that's good." she smiled at the three of them, greeted by bright but tired smiles back.  
Her fam.  
No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are. 
> 
> This has been a hell of a challenge for me, but now it's done, I feel kinda ... weirdly lost? Haha.  
> Thank you for everyone sticking with this, reading, commenting and kudos. Means more than you can imagine! I hope the story's been fulfilling (and whumpy!) enough for you all.
> 
> Shoutout to Anobii for your endlessly supportive comments, I really appreciate it, and anyone who's stuck with this fic to the end.   
> Stay safe, and remember, you are loved and love in return.


End file.
